If you're a size 8-10 (or your ideal) but not naturally slim how do you stay that way?

[overweightcat]

I know some people are just naturally rather petite or slim and willowy.

But if you're not and manage to stay a size 8-10 how do you do it?

I'm 5'5 and recently lost weight and gone down to a solid size 12 - 10 in certain shops. Beforehand it was on the larger side of size 14.
I used to be very slim in my teens, had a terrible diet full of crap and sweets but was also very active around 8hrs a week of various sports/dance activities. I became quite sedentary and steadily piled on the weight since.

I don't have long legs or a small frame or anything - if anything I find that I'm rather in proportion all around and when I used to do a lot of sports I looked slim and athletic not willowy (which I'd prefer TBH).
Size 8-10 is my ideal I think as I've recently seen pictures of myself when I was that size and I think that's when I looked my healthiest and fittest - but I'm not sure how to get there.

My weight is at a bit of a standstill at the moment and I want to lose in a sustainable way. I probably have about 9lbs to go.

So anyone who has managed to achieve that and stay the desired size - can you share how you did it?

@Gemma2019 , well done on your weight loss . I do think that 2,000 calories daily is too much for most people. Its become some sort of magic number, women need 2,000 calories daily, well some might but most won't, and a lot will need much less.

I think some people would rather have a salad than a donut. Or water rather than coke. Or run rather than watch tv. Or go for a walk or cycle with a friend rather than have cake and coffee. They enjoy eating/drinking/doing those things.

It doesn't have to mean you are punishing yourself if you have a healthy lifestyle.

I feel better when I am eating well and exercising (within my limits-chronic illness). That probably influences how I feel about eating processed food. My body is telling me it's not good for me.

No one cares about people eating healthily
Except they clearly do because we've had people on this thread decide that 8/10 isn't healthy and posters say that people who choose to alter their diet/exercise to be the lower end of healthy have eating disorders.

And we've had several posts where people choosing to exercise and manage their portions are miserable /sad or its 'depressing', and stupid comments about how awful it is to weigh portions.

Then to deflect from the fact some people quite evidently have their own hangups about smaller people it becomes 'yeah but what about this person who did an extreme diet' as if that remotely changes the fact that for most people it is totally possible to be an 8/10 in the healthy range by making decent choices.

Yes some may just be eating healthily...you like to think that people are criticising that because it makes you feel even more superior and that you're doing something that others view as unique. It's not. Even overweight people eat healthy food. I'm overweight, I don't drink fizzy drinks or alcohol, I eat veg, I don't get takeaways or eat processed food...not all overweight people are gorging all day on tubs of ice cream and bags of doughnuts.

What is being critiqued is the number of posts where people are admitting they really do deprive themselves and restrict heavily. Go back to the first page and the poster who says they only eat vegetables and no fats or carbs. That is absolute madness and not actually very healthy at all.

you like to think that people are criticising that because it makes you feel even more superior and that you're doing something that others view as unique. It's not.
It has nothing to do with feeling superior.

'makes slim people feel superior' is another lazy MN phrase that makes little sense but gets trotted out on weight/size threads to make people feel better, just like if posters comment on a thread about money then they must be 'full of envy and jealousy'.

People aren't just critiquing any heavy restrictions. That's exactly my point. They're saying people wanting to be within healthy but lower range must have eating disorders, that it's sad and miserable to manage portions, suggesting weighing portions is obsessive, saying it's depressing when people have discussed regular exercise.

Then when this chip on their shoulder is pointed out, the whataboutery starts by selecting a couple of more extreme examples whilst claiming that nobody has an issue with people being slim/portion control/healthy eating/exercise.

Honestly, no one cares that you weigh your food or eat a salad. I always weigh pasta and rice because i can't estimate how much to cook.

But are you honestly saying that someone who only eats veg and no fats or carbs has a healthy diet and a normal attitude to food?

In this society, thin is superior for women.

Honestly, no one cares that you weigh your food or eat a salad.
And yet funnily enough that's what posters on this thread have been criticised for and been called sad/miserable/depressing for.

@LolaSmiles, I didn't say people who watched what they ate during pregnancy were sad. I said the idea of being vigilant around food when you are pregnant felt sad to me. That is not to say, it should be used as an opportunity to gorge and gain excessive weight. Not at all.

I, like millions of others have a complex and not very healthy relationship with food. Over the years food has become loaded, its good/its bad ,it's a punishment/a reward. I'm fat, I'm ugly......on and on it goes. You see thread after thread about this, the self loathing is palpable.
I'm all for a bit of down to earth, friendly advice and some good news stories but the crowing and the superiority isnt helful.

How strange to think, in other cultures and in other times the fuller female form is celebrated and desired.

Why don't you answer my question as to whether you think a diet that consists of veg and no carbs or fat is healthy and indicative of someone with an entirely positive relationship with food?

the crowing and the superiority isnt helful.

This is how you interpret it but it isn't so. This is a thread where people were asked how they maintain what is a healthy weight for them. No-one's crowing or feeling superior.
There are a couple of articles in The Guardian this week which discuss the psychological aspects of overeating. I'll try and link to them.

Obesity can't be tackled until we address the trauma that causes it
link 1

This is a thread where people were asked how they maintain what is a healthy weight for them

Nope, they were asked how they maintain a size 8-10 figure. That may or may not be their healthy weight. I'd suggest if you are achieving that size through fasting, only eating veg or other extreme methods then perhaps you're not at your healthiest weight

link 2
Britain's obesity strategy ignores the science: dieting doesn't work

I'm sure that it's the emotional attachment to "comfort eating" that's the root cause of many people's obesity and that is difficult to address. I think it's also the reason they're so defensive about overeating.

I didn't anticipate this thread going this way...

@formerbabe if you read my OP title it's says size 8-10 or your ideal weight/size.
Maybe I didn't express this in my OP very well and I guess I was focusing on 8-10 a bit more as I think that's my ideal weight/size range and was wondering how other people have maintained that.

I'm 5'5 and with my build I think I could happily be 8-10, healthy and strong but I just need to figure out the best way to get there as I have a massive sweet tooth and I'll admit I often have too much junk and was hoping maybe for some tips and general advice of people who overcame similar challenges.

I probably couldn't be a 6 without some serious restricting or unhealthy habits as I have a bit more of an athletic build and even at my tiniest when I was around 16yo (and thought girls are only supposed to have 700cals a day after my friend convinced me of that) I could only occasionally squeeze into a size 6.

overweightcat
It was always going to get like that because any mention of consciously adapting diet or exercise seems to be some sort of trigger for people with their own hang ups.

You're right in that different people will have things that work for them to be at a size/weight that is right for them. We could get ideas from each other. Unfortunately the second you get people who open with 'people are only skinny because they don't eat and BMI is rubbish because I've rarely been in the healthy range' and 'how sad/miserable/depressing' , any discussion is always going to end up being turned into 'why you're all wrong for making conscious choices / look at you thinking you're superior'.

@overweightcat - really interesting thread, both for the answers to your original question, and to the debate that's followed. I totally understood the meaning of your original post as I think for most average framed women, a dress size 8-10 would be considered slim but healthy. Although clearly, for some women, attaining a size 8 may require an unhealthy relationship with food.

I think the reason why a size 8-10 could be considered objectively slim is that it's fatter (and I use that word deliberately) than a catwalk model, and tends to be the size of most high street catalogue models ("Erin is 5'10" and is wearing a size 10").

Obviously some people would look gaunt at a size 8 (I'm thinking of you F-- M--, my class mate in Year 10, who looked TERRIBLE as a size 8), and some people would look a bit flabby if they were a size 10.

What the thread (and my similar thread which asked for the habits of people who consider themselves naturally slim) has prompted me to think is whether there is a natural weight point for someone - i.e. am I destined to be a size 14 for the rest of my life unless I'm prepared to put in SERIOUS and potentially unhealthy work, or will my weight "stabilise" at any weight where the exercise/eating habits are balanced.

I do, however, think that both some PPs and society in general (particularly a certain white/upper middle / upper class section of society) does see slim as superior - hence the prevalence of eating disorders at boarding schools. This attitude is both depressing and unhelpful, as it can make those who struggle with their weight feel inferior and exacerbate their weight problems.

I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting to be slim, or with wanting to address the obesity crisis. I also I think some overweight people probably do need to take more responsibility for their size, but I would never think it's simple. Gosh, if anyone had the right answer on how to get people to lose weight, then I think they'd have their hand bitten off by central government! (I feel another thread coming on...)

@Tavannach, your links look very interesting.

I was alomst with you there OP, until you started with the 10/8/6 thing.

What would happen if you woke up one day and your top half was a 10 and your bottom half a 12? Would the sky fall in?

Destined to be a size 14? My God, some people would be so very happy to be in your shoes.

@WhatWillSantaBring

Eating disorders (especially in teenagers and young people) are rarely about being thin.

I think there is disordered eating to try and stay a size that is not natural to you but an actual eating disorder is very often caused by other factors.

But yes - every person has a set point which is where their body natural wants to be when they have a healthy relationship with food - everything in moderation type thing.

WhatWillSantaBring
In my experience control and underlying mental health issues such as anxiety go hand in hand with eating disorders in more affluent areas. It's fairly common for eating disorders to occur in high performing girls who are pushed to exceed in almost every area, the ones who are ferried to a dozen activities a week, who have to be grade 8 oboe and compete for the county in netball. Eating disorders themselves rarely are a case of someone just wanting to be slim.

You're right about the role of habits though. I think it's a fine line between saying someone is naturally slim and someone has a set of habits that predispose them to being slim. For years I thought I was naturally slim, but post DC I've changed my mind on that after being bordering on overweight after pregnancy and having gone back to a 10 with little effort. Whilst a smaller build is part of it, I've noticed that the fact I will happily box part of my dinner up for lunch if I'm full, don't enjoy eating sweet foods, don't justify having nice foods based on a bad day/need a pick me up, enjoy cooking, enjoy healthy food, enjoy exercise, walk the dogs daily etc are all habits that tend to mean I'm the slimmer end of healthy.

In sports coaches talk about marginal gains and marginal losses and that's probably true with food and exercise for us normal people too. It's like people on the biscuit thread said, 2-3 biscuits a day doesn't seem much, but over time those empty calories add up. Equally, if someone has a brisk walk for an hour most days then that's going to add up. If someone exercises then they'll want to eat in a way that gives them energy and won't want to feel sluggish.

@randomer I was just pointing out (probably not very well) that I wouldn't ever be a size 6 as it doesn't seem right for my build and realistically i would probably have to seriously (and potentially even dangerously) restrict my food and go on a strict workout regime and maybe even then I wouldn't "always" be a size 6 as I'm not built for it.

8/10 should be perfectly achievable for my height and build which is probably why my post was more cantered around that size - but that's myself personally. As I pointed out I'm pretty evenly proportioned and in turn gain weight everywhere at the same time too, it's usually visible on my face first.

My friend is a size 14 at the bottom and a size 10/12 at the top and curvy and gorgeous and it suits her down to the ground and she loves it - great.

Another friend is an apple shape I believe and fluctuates between a 12-16 but can always get away with a t shirt dress as she gains most around her torso but her arms and legs always stay lovely and slim she's never had much luck maintaining a said weight but can loose very quickly and expressed before that her shape can help her get away with looking slimmer than she is and she's pretty happy with it - it works for her, fantastic.

One of my closest friends is a size 6, she always has been, she's naturally petite, small and willowy and can actually eat more than me or friends mentioned above and she admits she has never really struggled with her weight but has in the past tried to unsuccessfully gain as she had comments about looking underweight - which she isn't for her height. Now she's older she doesn't care and is happy with her size and ability to eat most things and stay slim - brilliant.

I at my previous size 14 looked horrible and blobby as it all went to my face first and I lost all definition everywhere. My calves looked like they were retaining water and my arms went flabby and it was all just very unflattering.
After coming down to a 10/12 I look younger and fresher as my face doesn't look so swollen and blobby anymore which is very obviously visible when I've compared pictures of my face before and after but I can see I'm not quite at the right weight for myself yet.

But I wouldn't expect someone at 5'9 to have the same weight goals as me just as I wouldn't expect someone at 5'0 to have the same goals.

I'm a vegan and have a healthy 'main diet' but have a weakness for eating absolute rubbish so half the time I great then the rest of the time I'm grazing on crappy snacky stuff and and drinking Diet Coke.
I eat the same as I have for as long as I remember but I used to very thin. It's all catching up now but it could be worse 🤷‍♀️

And also*