Living with messy parents

[rhia22]

I'm 31 weeks pregnant and am living with my parents and 14 year old sister as my baby was a huge surprise which I wasn't prepared for! We've always been a little bit messy and it was quite bearable before I moved out for uni but since I've been back it's beyond a joke! They are so messy it's like living with two teenagers. Both work full time which I can appreciate but everyone does and manages to have a clean and tidy home! If I bring it up I'm made to feel bad that I don't do more around the house despite always cleaning up after myself and after everyone else most of the time but I am so tired with the pregnancy I struggle to find the energy to! I am so scared for when my baby is here because I know that I will be pushed over the edge if I have to pick my fathers 3 pairs of shoes off the living room floor when I've got a newborn or have to clean pans from the tea two days previous!!!! What advice do people have? I've been telling them I need a clean space when the baby arrives and I know they might be able to do it for a day or two but I won't be able to tidy up after them all the time when he's here!

If they are at work all day then it's not hard to keep it today as nobody is home making a mess!

You'll just need to clean it yourself just like you would if you lived in your own place. Pregnancy is tiring but you can still do some cleaning and tidying especially if you aren't working.

Ask if they'd be happy to deduct the cost of a cleaner from your rent?

Look I’m going to sound tough but assuming you aren’t working yourself - you don’t mention a job- then just do it yourself. Leaving washing up for days is worse than messy, it’s pretty disgusting in warm weather.

If you live there under their goodwill then that’s the cost of it. Once the place is in shape it’s really not that hard to keep on top of it if they are out working all day. Being pregnant doesn’t preclude housework for the vast majority of women, you simply pace yourself and keep on top of it.

Once you have your own place you can keep it spotless. I do have sympathy for you, I’m very tidy but you will have to do it yourself as they clearly aren’t bothered by it.

Sorry I know this is going to sound harsh, but for now at least you really could just tidy it. As you haven't answered the several posters asking if you work, I'm going to assume you don't, in which case you literally have all day to tidy. Not to mention that your parents are supporting you and baby, so it would be nice if you contribute something to the household instead of just nagging.

I know you're tired from the pregnancy, but you still have 2 months to go, most people (including cleaners) would still be working 8+ hours, as well as sorting there own house and possibly looking after older children as well. I'm sure you could do an hour or two each day to get it really sorted and organised before baby arrives, then hopefully once the baby is hear your family might be more inclined to step up and keep it tidy.

Is there a lot of clutter in their house?

De-cluttering makes mess so much easier to keep on top of. If your folks are working FT, perhaps you could suggest doing a bit of a declutter for them?

i hope so! i know it bothers my mum and she would prefer a tidy home but she works a lot and uses that as an excuse!

ah - you've just finished uni? have you ever had a family to cook for and work all day? Frankly you're lucky you have a roof over your head and they let you stay, I'm pretty sure they didn't reckon on becoming grandparents this soon in close proximity.

I'd suggest working with your mum and sister to actually reorganize the house before the baby arrives.

Don't you bloody dare. Get your dad to pick up his own shoes, sure but don't make keeping things clean and tidy into women's work.