To feel out of sync?

[whiteplains]

I know that the reverse is true here - the first to have a baby probably feels the same.

I’m 41, expecting a baby, and feel out of sync. Friends started their families at about 32 and finished them at about 35-36, meaning they are now at the stage of just starting primary school. Nappies and breastfeeding and childbirth have been replaced by school shoes and school runs and so on.

AIBU to feel a bit sad I’m out of sync with everybody?

Yeah that's me.

Friend wise it's been ok, good even, met some lovely people at baby massage group, very similar position. A few older friendships have drifted but may have done anyway.

Family wise been harder. After twenty years of being fun aunt and happily providing childcare and sleepovers, Dd is 21 months and barely knows family. Nobody has even offered to take her for an hour never mind longer. She actually wouldn't know her uncles at all. That's their loss though.

Yes - just not a novelty at all, is it!

I was 35 when I had my daughter but both friends I met at baby groups who I’m still good friends with 3 years later were over 40, so you might find others in the same position if you go to groups.

Also, once yours is a toddler, friends with willing older children come in really handy! I went to a park with a couple of friends the other day and my daughter wanted to go and play in a certain area and I wanted to sit and chat with my friends! But no problem, because the 10, 8, 7 and 6 year olds all volunteered to go with my 3 year old and look after her. So I love having friends with older kids!