Friend thinks I should be grateful

[zerosugars]

Which I am, extremely grateful for my lovely toddler.

Was having a discussion with a friend of mine who has 4 children. She's in a happy settled relationship with a good set up.

I am a 30 year old lone parent who left my sons dad as he became abusive when I was pregnant. He's my only child.

I mentioned to my friend that I'm so happy she ended up in the position she's in (very happy as far as I know), and mentioned that I'm worried I'll never meet anyone lovely in time to have another child, as realistically, I don't have time for dating, and I don't want to end to with the wrong person, again.

Friend sneered and said that's a bit ungrateful, some people never have any kids?' I said I know and I'm so grateful for my son, I would just like another one day if the time is ever right. Again, she insisted that I just be grateful for the one I have.

AIBU to think that just because I already have one, doesn't mean I can't worry about possibly never having another? I don't wish to cause any hurt to those who cannot have children, however I think that my feelings are still valid.

Am I being over sensitive?

If you had been talking to a woman struggling to conceive, I would understand, but I don't think you would have said it to someone in that position.

She was mean.

She's an utter cow, speaking from her pedestal with 4 children of her own deeming you to be ungrateful for the 1 you have.

Your friend being horrid

About time she was an ex-friend if you ask me.

So, you should be grateful with one child, but it's OK for her to have four?

You need some new friends.

Unless you go on about this all the time and she is trying to bump you out of it... she is not being a nice friend.
Everyone is able to feel sad about things missed out on while still thankful for what they have. Everyone needs to vent and discuss things with friends...
So she never moans? If she ever moans about her kids you now know what your response should be....

Your friend should have just listened or said something innocuous. People can be so tactless, they just don't think.

I hope you do meet someone but am glad you have your lovely child who will always be a great source of joy.

She sounds like a friend you don't need OP!

I think your friend was being kind and telling you not to worry.
Maybe everything isn't so rosy in her garden, you sort of presumed.
Plus, it seems a bit weird thinking about having another child when you aren't with anyone yet.
I'd have said something similar to a friend if they seemed down about it. Of course your feelings matter, but it doesn't sound like they are doing you any good.

A friend is meant to have your back, to hear you when you express your worries. That doesn't seem to be what is happening for you OP. Sorry to hear that, you are definitely NBU

I hate the attitude that because x doesn't have y, you have no right to ever be unhappy or whatever. She doesn't sound like a good friend OP.

YANBU at all. She's jealous of something to do with you or your situation. I'd back off the friendship a bit.

Ask her outright why she wasn't grateful to have her first child and went on to have three more. Then ask her why it's OK for her but apparently not you. Before you end the friendship - actually she's not a friend but you know what I mean - at least have the pleasure of watching her squirm.

PS And when you ask her and don't get a proper answer, or it's something very superior about how it's different for her, make like a four year old and keep saying 'why', 'but why', 'how?'. Don't let it drop!

Your friend is being nasty imo.

I’m infertile, as in I need a biblical miracle. When my siblings, friends and colleagues are moaning about their kids misbehaving, or sleepless nights, or hoping for a new baby (or a particular gender), I’m not commenting or even thinking “You selfish, arrogant so&so” or feeling envious. I’m sympathetic (just like the single ones smile when DH gets on my wick occasionally). No one’s situation is ever perfect, so wish away - most people aren’t snowflakes and don’t see a persons blessings as a personal slight on their own lives

She should surely understand how you feel considering she went on to have four children...!

COWBAG.

You can be grateful for what you have, but still want more.

Is she normally a bit mean to you ?

She sounds like a dick! Time to let that 'friendship' go!