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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if anyone else's DC don't want to go back to school?

24 replies

Frogkissedtheprincess · 22/07/2020 16:24

My DD has never really liked school (will be going into year 5 next year) and I'm dreading September in a way. She keeps making comments about how school is 'hell' and she'd rather stay off forever (she has mild SEN).

I know most people's DC are raring to go (and my other DC are too), but does anyone have a child who doesn't like school much and will struggle to get back there after 6+ months away?

OP posts:
RonObvious · 22/07/2020 16:28

Yes, my son. He'll be going into Year 2. We had only just got him settled in, when the virus hit. Normally, it still took a few minutes of one of us in the classroom with him, before school started, for him to start to relax. Come September, when he will be expected to walk into the classroom by himself, I'm not sure what will happen. He may simply just refuse to go. The school are very aware that children will struggle though, and are breaking them in gently, with half days and re-induction sessions. Am keeping my fingers crossed!

Original poster
Frogkissedtheprincess · 22/07/2020 16:35

Thanks @RonObvious - but sorry to hear you have similar situation.

I don't think we have half-days here, at least not for the older ones. It's just in at the deep end Shock

I'm expecting a rough couple of weeks at the start but hopefully things will settle down... and hope for you too!

OP posts:
Coughsyrupsucks · 22/07/2020 16:39

My daughter has absolutely no interest in going back, which is a problem as it’s Year 13. She has SEN issues and anxiety, I genuinely don’t know how I’m going to get her to go in come September.

LakieLady · 22/07/2020 16:40

DP's DGD. She's in reception, so had only been at school a few months when lockdown started. She announced a few weeks ago that she doesn't want to go back to school because "it's stupid and boring".

It's going to be even more boring when she goes back, because her mum has been doing loads with her and she's now reading really well. She'll be 5 on Friday, so young for her year, too.

Iwalkinmyclothing · 22/07/2020 16:44

No, mine are all keen. Even my 14 year old, because his year 10 and 11 placement will be in a setting that could have been made for him (he is outside mainstream). My middle will be starting secondary school and cannot wait and my youngest bitterly misses his school friends and asks every day whether he can go back to school yet.

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 22/07/2020 16:47

My DD says she wants to go back... But I know she finds school very stressful. Also suspect at the first sign of school refusal in the mornings (like she had last year) they will refuse to take her. Last year it was basically peeling her off me and teacher going straight into the hug. (She's going into Yr5, and this was a recent development. Apart from a bit in Reception, she has not been like this).

She wants to try... But fear the reality will be different. I think school is better for her than home overall.

Original poster
Frogkissedtheprincess · 22/07/2020 16:51

@Aroundtheworldin80moves - sorry to hear - why do you think they'll refuse to take her? Because of social distancing?

I too have definitely thought school is better for my DD overall (having witnessed the alternative!), but it definitely has its downsides - stress and exhaustion (vs isolation and boredom at home!).

I do wonder if 'normal' home education (with groups, outings etc) would be better, but we both work and I'm not sure we could do a good enough job tbh :(

OP posts:
Igmum · 22/07/2020 16:54

Yes, my DD 14. She'd love to stay home - also mild SEN. I'm working on getting her out and about more before September but it's tough

bigchris · 22/07/2020 16:55

Another sad consequence of covid and lockdown

We've a teen school refuser in my extended family , funding already woeful to help, can't see the system coping with all three extra teenagers Sad

bigchris · 22/07/2020 16:56

These not three xx

Feellikedancingyeah · 22/07/2020 16:57

Spent months battling school refusal. School were really supportive and it stopped. And then 6 months off school - it will all start again. I'm weary of not being able to plan anything in case he refuses that day. And the fear of attendance figures

Original poster
Frogkissedtheprincess · 22/07/2020 16:59

@bigchris @Feellikedancingyeah

It's really disheartening - if a child was struggling before, it seems like it will be worse with all the health measures etc...

Or if they were doing OK, then 6 months off will have likely ended a good run...

OP posts:
LaLaLandIsNoFun · 22/07/2020 17:04

Yup. My daughter. I’ve no say in the matter though so it’s not an option. Hopefully it’ll just be new year nerves and she’ll settle in within a couple of weeks.

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 22/07/2020 17:05

I don't think the teacher will be able to give her hugs... And I won't be allowed near the classroom. I also have to get her sister to her drop off slot in a different part of school.

Just going to tackle it as it occurs really. She might be fine. But her 'Yr4' consisted of one term.... (She had no school place in September & October last year)

maxdash · 22/07/2020 17:06

Yes, he isn't making a big deal of it, seems more resigned to it than anything which is also sad. He'd be much happier being home schooled. DH and I are going to see if another school would suit him better though I suspect he's just a real introvert with a side helping of anxiety, and will forever just tolerate places with people.

Original poster
Frogkissedtheprincess · 22/07/2020 17:24

just tolerate places with people.

This sounds very familiar!

OP posts:
underneaththeash · 22/07/2020 17:34

My 2 boys would much rather stay at home.

There is no issue with the schools, but they're both anti-social home bodies and would rather play computer games than talk to people.
It's not happening!

AnnaMariaDreams · 22/07/2020 17:36

DS going into year 4. He had 3 weeks back in school and didn’t want to go but loved it once he was there.
For most it will just be a “first day of term ++” feeling.
Some children who have additional needs will struggle though.

Mother40 · 22/07/2020 17:37

Neither of mine are too keen to go back (years 4/and 6) and I expect.the 4 year.old may have tears on her first.day.back!

Mother40 · 22/07/2020 17:38

Year 4, not.4 year old!

Absoluteunit · 22/07/2020 17:41

I think I'm going to really struggle to get DD back to school. She's autistic and has been in her element at home without lots of peopling to do

TheSunIsStillShining · 22/07/2020 18:00

My DS(14) has started negotiating with us on how not to have to go back to school. He has raised his grades, got good reviews from almost all teachers and has worked hard(ish).
In his case online school from sept would be a blessing.

Original poster
Frogkissedtheprincess · 22/07/2020 18:23

For most it will just be a “first day of term ++” feeling.

Yes this makes sense - feel sorry for those also starting a new school this year...

OP posts:
bigchris · 22/07/2020 18:59

@Feellikedancingyeah godmi feel so much for you {{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}

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