Demotivated zero enthusiasm hospital night shift

[oldstripeyNEWname1]

Help me out here. I'm feeling, like many in the NHS I'd guess, knackered and shafted. I'm on the first of run of nights tonight. Kids have been fighting all day, so no sleep. I should have had a temporary contract, as an hca, to start masters in nursing in Sept. Covid had messed school & childcare up for September so I withdrew offer (now fixed). Hospital asked me to stay permanently. In last week, organisation change announced and I'm now at risk of reorganisational redundancy. Deadline has passed to reopen University place (I'm pleading with them) and government has told nurses & hcas how valued we are by exclusion from pay review.

Even if I get uni place, that's £22k+ of debt for £5k pa increase.

Don't want to debate finer points. Just want to make a difference in people's lives, you know, hold their hands in their last hours, reassure them I won't let them fall walking to the toilet, tell them things can and will get better when they're feeling low?

Just feel totally pretty sorry for myself. Demoralising. We're lucky I left a £45k management job to do what I want to do, because I was unfulfilled. Same for my husband, leaving IT to teach secondary science in an economically deprived area. I can easily fill the gap with voluntary work, and I do, and third sector is increasingly the glue and now steel that hold the NHS together. I know I can do a band 5,6,7, probably 8 role. It's not the point. I will bounce back from tonight. Masses of nurses and hcas won't.

So pissed off and angry

I should add I've worked through Covid. Not one day off, no leave. 3 kids home schooled, included one SEND. I am fucking knackered. And supported all the mental health charity stuff I do online, to continue to provide support when we couldn't provide face to face services. Their professional teams are on their knees and will be massively, massively overloaded soon.

Not helpful but didn’t want to read and run. I’m a doctor and have spent over a decade in the NHS. Honestly? My advice would be to change jobs and not bother with uni/ nursing. You won’t feel any more appreciated as a nurse - you’ll still be taken for granted. I’m not slating my nursing colleagues - they are wonderful and I couldn’t do it, but they often get the rough end of the deal - continual shift work, bearing the brunt of patients and as you say, for the work the pay isn’t great. I would tell everybody if they can to get out/ away from the nhs - it’s a black hole that will take everything you have and give nothing back. Sorry.

Vinoelle you're not the first to say it, and with existing experience I could sideways move fairly easily into counselling.

What's best for me, my health, my family will have to come first, because you cannot keep fighting on principle and values.

I just cannot understand why people aren't more angry. Or, I suppose, why they just swallow the untruths.

You have worked 7 days a week throughout covid? Impressive. Not sure what you would like people to say OP, you obviously have a wide skill set from your previous career and your one now, your options are to stay where you are, or to leave and join the hoardes of unemployed wondering how to pay their rent who are looking for jobs.

Nurses haven't been left out of a pay review, the pay review was three years ago and still applies this year. Different services have different reviews at different times. Police etc haven't had a rise for years, nurses have.

You sound exhausted. I think a move may be the right thing for you. I want to give you a huge thank you for the work you have done- I know I wouldn't be here if it weren't for people like you .

I didn't say I haven't had a day off working seven days a week for four months. I've worked 24/7 shifts, so I've had rest days sleeping between nights. But I've not been able to book any annual leave, even for an odd day.

It wasn't a dig at people who have, or will loose their jobs. I'm very away of that, from the volunteer work I've done for years with the homeless, women's dv, mental health and will continue to do so.

With teachers, police officer, midwife, border force, matron and paramedic in the family, we all know about public sector pay & pension swings & roundabouts.

Thanks for feed back