Going on ‘strike’ didn’t work

[FEdUpOf]

Haven’t felt well for the last few days.
Decided to ask family to help as I can’t do the usual level of housework ......
Have rested each day and done the minimum I personally need to and nothing else Felt bad yesterday so was in bed after doing a few bits first thing got up this morning to basically a disaster

Nobody else has lifted a finger. Dh has been looking after toddler doing all cooking, bathing etc and what he can teenagers have done nothing when I queried hadn’t he asked them he said no as they do Jobs badly (I think this is their tactic I said I always insist as they need to learn)
I’m actually really upset
I can’t live in such a mess 😟 I think I deserve some help

You (or DH) do need to teach them how do do jobs properly though. You can't expect them to just know.

My DC have detailed instructions for things like bathroom cleaning saved in their phones. I don't actually ask them to do it very often but when I do they wouldn't dare refuse and they know if it's not done properly they'll be doing it again.

When DH retired, he took over the housework, as I still work full time. I use the term in its loosest possible sense, as the place quickly became a tip and we had the most bitter rows.
In the end, we got a cleaner, which I insist he pays for atm, as I am at work all day and he has some odd hours at his retirement job.

I wonder if reducing their allowances to go towards paying for the cleaner might be helpful.
It might get the message home that cleaning up after themselves and cleaning the shared spaces are their responsibility, too.
Either everyone does the work or they chip in for someone else.

Take them off the wifi at the end of every single day and they're not back on until their chores are done.

And if you have to chase them to do it right and waste your time, too, that time will be factored into them getting back on, too.

I'd be turning wifi off changing the code and not giving it out until everything was done to a satisfactory condition.
My dc have always done their fair share and as grown married men their wives appreciate the time we took as parents to make them useful capable adults.
Your dh is a dick not teaching them how to take care of themselves.
I'm sure dh could do more, unless he is working atm.

@FEdUpOf, turning the wifi off etc.. never worked with my dcs.
They are teens now, 16 and 15yo. They are asked to do some tasks in the house like washing up and tidying up the kitchen.

And yes thye have grumbled (a lot!) and they have done things badly.

The one and only thing that seems to be working so far (chipping away slowly at their efusal) is to not get angry at all but ask them EVERY SINGLE TIME to redo whatever they were supposed to do and has been done badly.
Again and again.
From me and DH.

If yu want to change things, you'll have to get your DH on board.
Fwiw I suspect that if you were stepping down from 'housewife duties' and were letting him redo all the stuff yur teens just cant be arsed to do, he would join you much ore quickly. Its easier to redo things when there is little to do. A very different issue when you are shouldering 90% of all the HW AND have to also also redo whatever was supposed to be done by someone else.

I have 2 teens and I can tell you yes, they do jobs badly on purpose.
The way to sort it is to get them back immediately and make them do it again and again. Until it’s done properly.
Keep calm and state, you haven’t done this yet, come back straight away and finish off. Tell them no tv, no WiFi, no xbox, no phones or whatever they use until the job is done correctly. There’s no excuse for not doing it, you just have to make the ‘punishment‘ for the laziness worse than the actual job.
Your DH sounds a bit useless I’m afraid to let them get away with this tactic.