To say no to them picking our baby up.

[Rosebel]

My 14 and 12 year old love their little brother who is 5 weeks o!d. They love picking him up, cuddling him and helping with bath time. It's lovely to see as I wasn't sure how they'd feel. When he cries,they won't leave him alone. However I'm starting to think the cuddling all the time is a bit much.
He always wants to be cuddled now. Cuddled to sleep and then stay there. In the day it's fine but it means I'm not sleeping at night as as soon as I put him down he cries. I'm also thinking in September they'll be back at school and I won't be able to sit.there and cuddle him all the time and obviously my children won't be there to cuddle him either.
I do love having cuddles,with him but wondering if I should stop my girls picking him up so much. Just so he can sleep on his own really. Can't decide if I'm being unreasonable because I'm tired maybe he's too young to settle himself. Also I don't want to upset my older two saying they can't cuddle him too much.
Should I just let them have unrestricted cuddles and accept he's too young to settle? Or try and get him used to having to wait a few minutes before being picked up?

Is this a joke? He's 5 weeks old. How lovely that he has older brothers who are responsive to his needs.

I appreciate you need some sleep, so can you get some help?

Brothers=sisters

I've got a 4 week old and an 8 year old who is a very doting big sister so I can see where you are coming from. DD isn't allowed to pick baby up but will try very quickly to settle him with shushes, pats, rocking, dummy etc. She often encourages him to go to sleep when he cries when actually he needs to be awake as he is due a feed etc.

I would have a chat with them, they sound very sensible. Explain that baby needs to practice some self-soothing skills, and that it is ok for baby to make noises for a while before being cuddled. There can still be plenty of cuddles, but let them know that it doesn't need to be constant.

I think it has more to do with the child.
My first loved to be cuddled all the time, slept through from three months.
Did the same with the second one, but wasn't appreciated - liked me to be nearby though, didn't sleep through until the age of three!
Third, like a limpet until the age of 2.

Unrestricted cuddles, its a lovely time, over before you know it and babies adapt

Also, my baby is quite enjoying being on the floor having a good kick & wriggle recently. If yours enjoys this then maybe encourage the older ones to sit next to baby and talk, pull faces etc so they're getting nice fun interaction without baby being held constantly.

At 5 weeks you can't train your baby not to want cuddles or indeed over - cuddle a 5 week old baby..

Congratulations! At five weeks I'd go for unrestricted cuddles, it's lovely they're so excited.
I hate when little babies are left to cry though, BIL and his wife did that when nephews were very young, it was hard to witness.

Whichever one isn't cuddling the baby can get you a cuppa.

5 week old babies need to be help. Let him be cuddled.

At 5 weeks old your baby NEEDS cuddles. Please don't restrict that.

i cuddled my friends six week old baby for five straight hours a few weeks ago. it was bliss

Don’t do that OP. You will manage. You will be in a better routine by September. My mother did the same when she come round on a morning... said “he was as good as gold”. I said yes mother “because he’s had me up all night!”. The children will be so excited about their new sibling let them enjoy plus you don’t want them to feel pushed out.

Hi @Rosebel Responsive parenting is now advocated widely in midwifery. Your baby is so young so they have no concept of manipulation at this age. They are crying for a reason so by picking them up you are providing love, security, safety and bonding with your infant.

Babies this young should not be left to self soothe they need to feel secure and loved so please encourage lots of cuddles with all members of the family.

Congratulations btw.

Hi Op,

I remember worrying about this and honestly I wish I hadn’t; tiny babies need to be held. They grow out of it soon enough.
Try to make sure that you can tag team with your partner if they’re around so can get some sleep though.

Let them cuddle him and enjoy him, the school holidays won’t last forever & you can worry about a routine from September onwards. It’s lovely they’re so smitten with him and tiny babies need lots of cuddles, you’ll all soon adjust from September.

If it really worries you as time goes on & they’re back at school, you can always gently explain to them that you won’t always be able to immediately go to him when you’re on your own and it’s ok for them to play with him and comfort him without lifting him up, but that’s probably likely to be more age appropriate for him from 3+ months anyway.

I hope you manage some sleep soon x

Let them cuddle! It won't last for long, and eventually they will more than likely get bored of constantly doting over little one anyway.
Make the most of this time, enjoy a drink whilst you've got them helping out!

Also on the letting him sleep... I never put dd down when she was sleeping, I loved the cuddles far too much. Now at 18 months old, I'm lucky for a little cuddle a day as she's far too busy for me. Even when she sleeps (and she sleeps on me) she won't let me cuddle, just likes to plonk down between my legs and do her own thing.

Babies are "cuddled" for 9months in the womb, it's not something he is just getting used to now. By the time they go back to school you'll be through those tough first 3 months and he might be happier to settle in a crib. The cuddles can only be a good thing, let him have an endless supply while they are available and cross the bridge of what to do in September when it comes. The sleep at this age is tough, I used bed sharing to get through it, worth considering if there aren't reason it's not safe for you.

5 week old babies need all the cuddle they can get. They don't need to be taught to self-soothe ar any other such nonsense and they aren't made dependent by being held.

Let your DC give all the cuddles they want to. Enjoy the freedom it gives you and be happy that they are building the foundations of a great relationship in the future.

Of course 5 week olds need to be in contact with other humans (especially their mother). And much older babies too.

Look up the 4th trimester. And get a sling if you need to do stuff at the same time.

Thanks so much for the replies. I thought I was probably being unreasonable and think the lack of sleep is affecting me more than I thought it would.
It is absolutely lovely to see the girls with their little brother and I can see why they love cuddling him (because I love it too).
Hopefully by September we'll be in a routine and maybe he'll be sleeping more at night. I know I'm very lucky that my girls are so good with him so I'll keep letting them cuddle him as long as both they and he want to.

Of course 5 week olds need to be in contact with other humans (especially their mother). And much older babies too

I think having had 3 the op realises this! She's asking about constant contact and whether reducing that as a necessity will cause problems.

Op I had a similar situation where my baby was cuddled and soothed every time she squeaked due to relatives visiting for a month and extended paternity leave. When it all suddenly ended and the house was very quiet with just she and I between school runs I can't deny she noticed! But she soon adapted and for month 2-4 I used a vibrating bouncer that seemed to make her feel really secure.