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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Chaperones for appointments?

19 replies

WhimsyWoo · 21/07/2020 18:22

I read about these on another thread but any appointment where I have anyone look at anything private, the doctor always asks for a chaperone without asking me. I have had an ultrasound today of my abdomen and, again, the hospital doctor requested a chaperone.

As a teenager, I disclosed to my mother I'd been sexually abused as a child and was no believed, rather manipulated whether she realised it or not, to say that maybe I was just confused about the whole thing. It was reported to the police by a family friend but as it was years later I'd disclosed it, I was a really unreliable witness, remembering something differently a week a part, etc. I vaguely remember a police officer doing an observation and sitting with me at school whilst I was in lesson, asking casual questions but at the time, as he was speaking to others too (just an odd question here and there) I didn't put two and two together but think school definitely knew. It definitely happened, I just didn't have the courage to speak up, my mother thought I was just trying to split up her relationship and said as much years later.

Anyway, do these type of things go on your medical record? If you say you've been abused but the police don't uphold a case? I cannot think of any other reason why they'd just do it and I kind of think, yes it does help against sexual assault claims but it really bothers me. I don't always want the receptionist, someone not medically trained, seeing my bits! I get why and I do agree with asking but AIBU to think they do this because of my history but also that you should always ask/tell someone first too?

OP posts:
Ponoka7 · 21/07/2020 18:26

The doctor always requests someone to chaperone, it's got nothing to do with the individual. In cases were there is a shortage of Staff, they may ask if you are happy to proceed without one.

It won't be on your record. It should be explained that they will need someone else in the room. I don't think that you should be able to refuse that. No HCP should be put at risk of an allegation.

Ponoka7 · 21/07/2020 18:27

The person in on the appointment shouldn't be able to see any private parts.

MereDintofPandiculation · 21/07/2020 18:28

Sometimes I've been asked if I want a chaperone, sometimes one has been called in, but that's been a nurse, not a receptionist.

MereDintofPandiculation · 21/07/2020 18:28

You can ask to see your medical records.

Poppiesway1 · 21/07/2020 18:30

As a sonographer, I have a chaperone there to protect / witness me mainly, especially if it’s a patient of the opposite sex. I also would not want to be alone with a patient whilst I performed an intimate scan, wether they were male or female. We would only have the type of information you describe if it had been declared on the request form by the referrer. Hopefully the assistant with the dr provided you with some dignity and covered you with a sheet.

countbackfromten · 21/07/2020 18:36

It is to protect healthcare workers as much as it is to protect you OP. I get a chaperone for all intimate examinations and increasingly for challenging conversations as we can be in a very vulnerable situation too.

DisobedientHamster · 21/07/2020 18:38

YANBU

flooredbored · 21/07/2020 18:39

In hospital I’ve always had a chaperone without being asked. In GP appointments (I only see female GPs) they usually ask if I would like one or not. I think it’s probably because in hospital it is pre planned usually and so they can organise for someone to be there. Whereas for GP appointments they wouldn’t know in advance they would need to examine you and it’s quicker if they don’t have to get a chaperone.

blueluce85 · 21/07/2020 18:41

I had a chaperone whilst having a breast exam... It was the doctors secretary. I was on full display and she was fully looking at me. It may be normal for her, but i expect that sort of thing to be in front of a medical professional only, not someone from admin

I loathed every second of it

okiedokieme · 21/07/2020 18:44

I've been asked but I refused, never heard of someone being provided without being asked

DrCoconut · 21/07/2020 18:45

Blueluce, that's not good. I was in the same situation but I was behind a curtain in the room and the chaperone just on the other side so things were supervised but with privacy.

Newnamenewopenme · 21/07/2020 19:02

I’ve been to the same doctor a few times, he used to get a chaperone initially but no longer does - not sure if it’s because we’ve had no problems in the past on either side or because of a shortage of staff now.

EllaAlright · 21/07/2020 19:06

Yes, it’s to protect the HCP as well as yourself. I wouldn’t read too much into it. Standard practice in some trusts.

PawPatrolMakesMeDrink · 21/07/2020 19:13

The doctors I work with always offer a chaperone. If I’m chaperoning a patient (I’m a nurse) I’ll always introduce myself and make sure the patient is ok with me being there and will usually stand next to the head of the bed if they’re having a pelvic exam, facing towards the patients face, that way I’m not staring directly at their genitalia but can keep an eye on what is happening, both for the safety of my patient and my colleague.
The information regarding your past experiences may be on the computer system. The doctors I work with would likely offer you a chaperone based on the idea that you may be feeling incredibly vulnerable being exposed and would maybe need a chaperone for moral support almost? Rather than that being wary of you.

blurpityblurp · 21/07/2020 19:14

I’ve never had one nor been offered one.

Once I had a medical student sitting in (with permission) who decided permission to observe the appointment in general meant permission to pop round the curtain and look at me naked without permission.

WhimsyWoo · 21/07/2020 19:15

@blueluce85

Yes, that's exactly the same situation I've had with the GP's receptionist. She's not very nice either which didn't help.

Today the chaperone was trying to help me tuck in the tissue for an ultrasound. Whilst I don't think she meant much by it and was a little kooky, I can see how someone would really hate that.

OP posts:
Purpleartichoke · 21/07/2020 19:23

Chaperones are standard, it isn’t personal or have anything to do with your history. .

blueluce85 · 21/07/2020 19:26

I understand why there are there and they are to protect both doctor and patient I did feel incredibly exposed and I wasn't consulted just told!

Sorry that you had that OP, I don't reckon it was due to your past, but more to protect everyone concerned as normal practice.
I don't know why, but i would much prefer a nurse than receptionist.

WhimsyWoo · 21/07/2020 22:16

Oh I agree. It just seems to be a new thing as an adult but perhaps this coincides with NHS changes. Totally get why they do it though.

OP posts:
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