To ask if lockdown has given you any personal insights or revelations?

[Everythingnotsaved]

Mine is that I have realised that DP of 21 years is a complete knob and I don’t think. I can bear to spend any more years with him 😬 I disagree with pretty much everything he does particularly with parenting decisions. It’s been a claustrophobic, toxic time in our house 🙈

Aibu to ask for any revelations you have had?

My one and only revelation is that I need to move to house with no neighbours at all. I am going to throw every single penny I have at making this happen within the next 2 years!
Lockdown has made me realise I cannot tolerate other people close to me!

Oh no that doesn’t sound good! I’m lucky that DH seems to have got nicer during lockdown (maybe less stress as WFH?).

I’ve learnt that we don’t need to be going out and doing things ALL the time. Last summer and the summer before we went out every single day except for one when DS didn’t feel well. This summer, I’m not going to put pressure on myself to do that.

Made me realise I am quite happy with a slower quieter pace of life and the little things like going for walks, cooking proper meals, and getting enough sleep make a massive difference to how you feel.

That we spend far too much money on days out and eating out, and my kids aren't even bothered about doing any of it, never mind grateful.
My dp is no more annoying in the house all the time, than he is at work. I was surprised we got on so well, maybe only one argument a day, so pretty much as normal.

That we are all (me, DH and 2 DC) infinitely happier spending our free time at home than constantly 'out and about' whether that's at the kids activities, out at friends, lunches, brunch, museums, national trust sites, cinema. Whatever. We don't need it. At all! Much happier and more relaxed at home doing our thing.

Pre-lock down I used to honestly worry about how bored we would be and how awful the weekend would be without some plan that had us out the house 10 -6! How wrong I was.

We are lucky to have a wonderful (if in need of significant renovation) house and large garden/ small holding though.

Appears I'm not the only one!

I've realised my children actually really like each other which is a bit of a revelation, but a very happy one.

I've also realised how much I touch my face.

And how much I hate Boris Johnson. I suspected this last one before lockdown to be honest.

That the therapy I had only worked on the surface, the second I could no longer access my coping mechanisms, it turned out I was still as screwed up and self loathing as ever.

That a slow pace of life doesn't work for me, I need to keep constantly busy.

That the world won't end if I never pick up a razor or get waxed again! 😁

That I need time alone every day. I hadn't realised before how much I got from commuting to and from work- a guaranteed minimum 2.5 hours each day of no one talking at me, making demands of me, of time to listen to music and do admin and process my day and read the news and fight on reddit politics subs... DH was furloughed and didn't want me to take the risk of using public transport so started taking me to and from work every day, and has been made redundant so is continuing to do so now and why would we pay for a bus pass when money is tight and we don't need it... But god, I miss those moments alone. I feel right now I am never just me, I'm either work me or someone's mum or someone's wife!

Lots! I hated the lockdown so much, felt like life was over. But...
-I love my garden and hardly spent any time in it before
-Some friends still want to hug you even when it is illegal -they will be mine forever friends
-some friends are sanctimonious twunts snd mask Stasi. -life will be better without them

• as a teacher Ireosr I really, really care about my pupils and tutees and although my school has been running a full timetable via Zoom, O miss them, even their naughtiness! I will be a much more tolerant teacher when we go back to school.
• abroad is a hassle and I am happy to spend the summer at home /never woulda thunk it!
• regret spending so much time and energy on days out/clubs:holidays/soft play when the kids were little having seen so many things we could have done instead

-regret not hogging my parents more before they went into isolation in March

I need the structure of physically going to work.
I live in a different country and have few friends anyway so didnt miss anything there. But I quite like my colleagues!
My god I am thankful for DS' 1-1 support at school.
This is quite specific: i really dislike the majority of Danish music and Denmarks answer to Gareth Malone is SO IRRITATING I CANNOT BEAR HIM.

Yes!! Me & DP need to move into the middle of nowhere with no neighbours. My neighbours on one side have made my garden unusable during lockdown (so loud I can hear them shout and screech when my music through headphones are as loud as I can bear it) can also hear them inside! Saying that it’s made me closer to my other neigh as we’ve bonded over being annoyed over it.

More positively, I realised my DP is a wonderfully kind boss and cares about his team and they seem to have a lot of respect for him.

About myself, the best things in life really are free

That I like our house as it is. Lots of neighbours have fantastic extensions which look lovely, but our house works really well for us.

That my husband is a total delight, and that I love spending time with him, and that my pets have grown from hyper babies into well-adjusted adults.

😍

Yes! That actually I miss my family when I don’t see them and that some people I thought were sensible and rational are actual selfish knobs

LionelRichTea your user name is wonderful and making me peckish!

That I actually have an anxiety disorder. It didn't present itself before but boom, here we are. I'm dealing with it but it's been rough.

@tinydancer88

Made me realise I am quite happy with a slower quieter pace of life and the little things like going for walks, cooking proper meals, and getting enough sleep make a massive difference to how you feel.

Same for me.

Tbh lockdown has been the best thing that has happened for me in over 12 years. My life and wellbeing has improved hugely.

That we spend far too much money on days out and eating out, and my kids aren't even bothered about doing any of it, never mind grateful.

Yes to this too. Pre lockdown my DC were in different clubs/hobbies and I was always looking for more to take them to. Thinking I was creating lots of opportunities for them. After lockdown I’ve decided that they can pick and choose for themselves which they go to and I’m not going to fret that they are missing out if they choose none.

@Smallsteps88 yes, agree re all the activities & the slower pace of life. I’ve enjoyed being with my kids even though it’s been hard at times with work too. It’s just a shame we’ve all been happier & calmer when DP has been out at work!!!!

It has become clear to me:
That there is a lot of dead wood at universities who are absolutely protected no matter what. Even when we're all being asked to take pay cuts or reduce our hours, no-one is talking about those people who have done basically nothing for years and years, and whether they're a good use of scarce money.

That my colleagues absolutely do not respect the mental health, work-life balance, or well-being of people without children.

That my mum is completely self-centred and gives absolutely no fucks about anyone but herself, particularly me.

That me and DP are absolutely best mates, and we'll have a great time during retirement- just the two of us at home for 50 years

We have realised that we don't need to be in London any more and now want to move somewhere cheaper, earn less, and have a slower pace of life. Now we have decided I have such itchy feet and want to make it happen straightaway!

That I need time alone every day. Dear God, this.

I need physical space and time between me and other people every day. I feel absolutely exhausted by people.

That my DC don't like school - they are thriving, they're glowing and the little health niggles they have are all gone.

I realise this first and second thing are not compatible.

I’m stronger and more capable than I thought.

I was very anxious about lockdown. I’m a single parent and worried I wouldn’t be able to cope without family support.

But I did it and we thrived. The DCs got into a great routine with homeschooling, we went out every day for exercise and are all fitter as a result. Dd1 got into baking and DD2 taught herself to draw using YouTube videos. We enjoyed spending time together as a family and all coped much, much better than I thought we would.