not to expect you to call my 3 month old a squaling bundle of venom

[marathonmum]

You are a horrible unpleasant little man. I know you dont like children, you've always made that perfedtly clear. I dont expect you to like mine or even remember their names.
But when you greet me cant you find a more reasonable way to ask after my children including my 3 month old baby, than "hows the squaling bundle of venom".
Ok she may not be your cup of tea but to me shes beautiful. She wasn't even crying when you saw her so why be so rude.
You are not funny, witty or clever
Unfortunatley i have to put up with you as you are married to a friend of mine
Get out of my face

oh dear. YANBU.

hope you are feeling better now having got that off your chest!

Gosh, is that what they call "dry wit"?

YANBU. What a twunt.

what a complete and utter fuck face

OOOH. What a dreadful man.

Next time (although I would completely avoid a next time), I would arm myself with gems such as, "She's the most beautiful child ever. How very dare you?" or "Are you always this unpleasant?" or "I always thought you were a tosser. My baby thinks so too."

If he's tries the "Oh lighten up, I was only joking line," just tell him that he's really not funny and needs to work on his jokes. Calling babies horrible names is just easy target practice like laughing at the aged or the disable. Those who can't defend themselves.

thanks i feel better now. At least i don't have to live with him
As the saying goes ..........you can choose your friends but not their other halves........or something like that

How about 'weird thing is she only cries when you're around, are babies like dogs do you think? Maybe they sense evil'

Brilliant, Lorayn.

excellent one Lorayn

I would just look blankly at him and pretend I had no idea what he was talking about until he started using the language of a human being.

You don't have to put up with that you know, just because he is your friend's other half, it doesn't actually give him the right to be abusive.

I call my friend's dd the Geordie Spawn and he tells his DD to keep away from the bad evil one (ie my DD)

Perhaps we need to rethink our humour?!

How about "Like calls to like" and hand infant to him? Will either fall in love or be too scared to return!

what a horrible rude man.
does he have children of his own, or has he still got the great lesson coming?

The poor disillusioned man genuinely thinks he is being witty. A few people standing around us didnt know where to look though including my friend.

Should feel sorry for him i suppose
perhaps he's bitter from a traumatic childhood when his mum confiscated his conkers

"how's the squalling bundle of venom?"
"I don't know, how are you?"

I'm not for one moment suggesting this line should have instantly leapt to your mouth but at least it's there for future reference and quite frankly, you would be more than justified in kicking him in the bollocks.

Oh yes. Your poor friend. She's probably dying inside with embarrassment. I'd be crimson for four days if it were my DP.

NN he does have one daughter who 10. Lovely girl who adores my littley and has informed us she wants lots of babies when she grows up .
Hope he has an adjustment in his attitude before he becomes a grandad

Can't wait. he who laughs last....laughs longest

tribpot. Thanks i'll bear both those suggestions in mind!!

Next time he says "How is the squaling bundle of venom" reply "I'm not sure, I haven't seen your mother in ages."

How about "Venom is in the eye of the beholder!"

What a complete moron.

Yes he's a complete arse