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AIBU?

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Original poster

To report my daughters neighbour

34 replies

MrsHeckles · 21/07/2020 12:37

Not a neighbour exactly, but 100 yards across a parking area and I'm staying with my sister through lockdown to help with childcare.
Over the past month I've regularly heard this man yelling at his son, so loud we can hear him with the windows closed, and he yells and swears at this child all morning and then again at what seems to be bath time.

I've minded my business but become increasingly worried, it's not just telling off, it's really awful. To my shame I've said nothing but I can't any longer.
Today he's yelling again, so loud and the child appears to have wet himself. He's screaming at him to get his pants and trousers off and to listen to his body . I think he may be a single parent as there doesn't seem to be anyone else there from what I can tell. At the very least he needs support. Where do I report this for the sake of this little boy?

OP posts:
Original poster
MrsHeckles · 21/07/2020 12:38

My sisters neighbour. I'm doing childcare for her daughter, my niece. Sorry, panicking and typed too fast .

OP posts:
cameocat · 21/07/2020 12:43

Yes call nspcc for advice.

Zany15 · 21/07/2020 12:44

How old is the child? The man sounds harrassed, and yelling at a child isn't ideal, but just what kind of support do you think he needs? Social services won't get involved because a father shouts at his son. Are you suggesting that the child needs to be taken into care? That can be worse than the original problem.

Original poster
MrsHeckles · 21/07/2020 12:44

@cameocat

Yes call nspcc for advice.
Thank you, I will.
OP posts:
Magicra84 · 21/07/2020 12:45

You can report to local social services. Please do it for this poor little boy.

crosseyedMary · 21/07/2020 12:46

This sounds extremely alarming
can you keep a log and some recordings to present to the NSPCC?

Original poster
MrsHeckles · 21/07/2020 12:46

@Zany15

How old is the child? The man sounds harrassed, and yelling at a child isn't ideal, but just what kind of support do you think he needs? Social services won't get involved because a father shouts at his son. Are you suggesting that the child needs to be taken into care? That can be worse than the original problem.
He seems no more than 5 or 6. I think he at least needs a knock on the door with an offer of support, but the aggression is increasing. It's way past normal.
OP posts:
iano · 21/07/2020 12:46

I'm glad you're doing something op.
To the pp social services job is not just to take children away. This man clearly needs help and support with parenting. Yelling do loud a child is so terrified they wet themselves is a massive issue.

crosseyedMary · 21/07/2020 12:47

screaming at the child suggest that man is in a state of rage, this will be terrifying and traumatizing for the child, and to have this happening every day☹️

Zany15 · 21/07/2020 12:49

If you can offer some support that would be great. Perhaps he needs help at particular times of the day. Do you know where the mother is?

Motherwell91 · 21/07/2020 12:49

Calling social doesn't mean they will come in and take the child away. The father could just need support and they would be able to provide this. The way I see it if you report and there isn't a problem the case will be closed if there is an issue support or action that is nessasary will be taken. It takes a village to raise a child as they say. More people should be more vigilant and report if they feel nessasary so well done op

Original poster
MrsHeckles · 21/07/2020 12:53

@Zany15

If you can offer some support that would be great. Perhaps he needs help at particular times of the day. Do you know where the mother is?
I have no idea, I've not seen anyone other than him and the little boy, I don't know the father's name although I know the boys name because it's always been shouted. Ill make a call and ask for advice. I'd be surprised if I'm the only person to have noticed to be honest.
OP posts:
Original poster
MrsHeckles · 21/07/2020 12:55

I'll make a call and seek some advice. He could be going through something, but it's really frightened me today and I'd never forgive myself if something happened. Thank you for the replies.

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FizzyPink · 21/07/2020 12:57

I have this with one of our neighbours although it’s the mum who screams for a good 15 minutes at a time quite regularly. Unfortunately it’s a block of flats and they’re too far away for me to work out which one it is and I’ve only started hearing it recently since we’ve been in our garden after having it done. Next time I hear her I plan to take a walk over there to try to work out which flat it is so I can report to the NSPCC

I used to work for them albeit not in a front line role and the majority of their work is actually in helping parents to be better parents and provide support and courses where they can rather than looking to take children away so I wouldn’t worry about that

Grandmi · 21/07/2020 13:01

It’s a no brainer report today !! If it gets really bad I would actually go and knock and ask if everything is ok . This poor child needs immediate help !

OhCaptain · 21/07/2020 13:14

I would report it, too. If only to get the man some help.

I have to admit, I hate this "offer support" nonsense. You don't know him, or his situation.

Imagine how he'd respond to a total randomer turning up at his door to "offer support"!

He does need help, but not from his neighbour's sister.

CyberPixie · 21/07/2020 13:15

Yes report. I've had to do the same thing in the past. Single father shouting at his son most days, it went on for hours. The son had autism, learning difficulties etc. Social services did get involved.

Original poster
MrsHeckles · 21/07/2020 13:18

@OhCaptain

I would report it, too. If only to get the man some help.

I have to admit, I hate this "offer support" nonsense. You don't know him, or his situation.

Imagine how he'd respond to a total randomer turning up at his door to "offer support"!

He does need help, but not from his neighbour's sister.

Yes I agree, I didn't actually mean I wanted to support him, I meant social services or someone. There's no way you d be knocking on his door unless I felt like the child was in imminent danger or it escalated further.
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justanotherneighinparadise · 21/07/2020 13:20

Yes I probably would and I’m not one to normally say this.

TokyoSushi · 21/07/2020 13:24

Yes, please do.

Thesilkshawl · 21/07/2020 13:25

Please do call social services today. Something bad is already happening- a child is being terrorised. It’s distressing to think of. Poor little boy.

Brieminewine · 21/07/2020 13:28

Yeah call SS or NSPCC, don’t go knocking on the door offering support you don’t know this man or how he will react.

Original poster
MrsHeckles · 21/07/2020 13:37

I've reported online and made a call. They took the details I gave, they've said they'll follow it up. I hope they do.

OP posts:
QualityFeet · 21/07/2020 13:44

They will. This is the right thing to do. There are lots of ways SS can facilitate support. How awful to be that little boy.

LovingLola · 21/07/2020 13:47

You have done the right thing.

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