Not in love anymore

[shuthefrontdoor]

So as it says in the title, I have been with my partner 15 years. 2 children and I am just no longer in love with him and I don't think he is really. We are just too comfortable. All the little things he does that shouldn't annoy me, do. He drinks far too much. Rarely does anything with the kids. I work all week. He works on an evening for 2 hours. How do I end it?

Do you want to end it? Or try to work on it?

Drinks too much, rarely does anything with the kids only works for 2 hours a day. All good enough reasons. Sounds like you wouldn't lose much anyway.

Depends, it’s not nice but it isn’t something that could be worked on quite easily.

Plus you have 2 children, they won’t always be young and that instantly gives you more time and less need for money so maybe it would be easier then to not work in the evening as childcare won’t be needed.

Do you enjoy the security and all the other perks with being in a long time relationship? If they don’t outweigh it then leave.

It is something that could be worked on easily that should say!

Have you told him any of this?

From my experience on here, when women don't feel love for their partners anymore it's because they're not being treated well.

And when men no longer love their partners it's because they've met someone else

(generalisations onbviously)

It needs to end. I've had enough, I'm miserable. He does know this, he was meant to be cutting down on his drinking and he hasn't. I'm just not sure how to go around it, especially with having 2 young children. House is housing association and he is on the tenancy! I don't think he'll leave easily x

I started by telling exH how unhappy I was. Ultimately he wanted to fix it. I didn't and told him that. It was another few months before I plucked up the courage to say but in the end I had distanced myself massively and he asked why and I said I'd been thinking, he asked if it was about of marrige and I said yes and that it's run it's course. The relief was overwhelming as it had been years coming and many months from making the decision to finally pulling the plug.