Have you you regretted cutting your damaged hair?

[PrincessPain]

I know its not an aibu, but I'm just a bit stuck and now sure what to do.
I've been experimenting with my hair during lockdown, bleached it and dyed it a few times and generally trying out different colors.
Its probably breast length, but is now from around shoulder, downwards, a frizzy, dry mess.
When it's wet it's like chewing gum and i've basically ruined it, again.
Not the first time and probably won't be the last.
I'm not sure what to do.
I love it long, but ita just not manageable and doesn't really look nice because its damaged.
Is it worth having long hair if it looks like crap and is snapping off anyway?

Have you had lots cut off "for the greater good" and loved it? Or hated it?

Picture of scribbled out face is my current length, but its a bit more damaged now.
Ginger colour is how damaged it is at the moment.
Or what do you think of the new style i'm thinking about? (Grey hair picture)

I'm doing a similar thing, constantly bleaching my hair for twenty years has knackered it. So I've dyed it my natural colour and plan to dye no more! It takes a lot to get used too but I want long hair!

Grey is not a great choice, it needs to be bleached first before you put the grey colour on, so it's going to make your hair brittle. I would not do anything that requires bleach. The upkeep also isn't easy on your hair.

No I never regretted it. Had it cut really short and never coloured it since. Now it's all natural and in great nick.

I don't see me leaving it alone.
I managed to stay a white/lavender/grey for ages.
Just bleached the roots every 4 weeks and put a toner over the whole thing and managed to keep it in pretty good condition.
But my toner was sold out everywhere during lockdown, probably due to people who normally get their hair done at the salon having to have it done at home. So i decided to try some semi permanet colours but as they started to fade i'd bleach bath out the last of the colour so I could apply a new one, but then obviously has to bleach my whole head.
5 colours later and its very damaged.

I didnt enjoy the length when I cut mine off, but I didn't miss the knots and unsightly bush.

And its all grown back now, sometimes I think cutting off to healthy hair is the only way to save it.

About your hair feeling like bubblegum: try a clarifying shampoo and avoid protein treatments for a while. This helped me. Similar issue, hair very damaged and brittle and felt like bubblegum when wet. Cutting out the protein/repair/keratin treatments and using a clarifying shampoo a world of difference. Apparently protein overload can cause this. We all use these products when our hair has been damaged but balance is key

I use coco & eve now as it doesn’t contain protein. Hair is softer again. Will continue with this for a month or two before I go back to protein treatments again.

Similar position. Dry brittle nest like hair. It's snapped off at the front and top but long generally so it's a bit like an unintentional reverse mullet
I'm wearing a headband from seasalt at the moment just to hide the grey roots and cover up the broken sticky up bits. Plan is to grow the short bits longer then cut the whole lot much shorter but not in a pixie which is what I'd currently have to have. All the conditioning masks in the world won't help damaged broken hair sadly

"Is it worth having long hair if it looks like crap and is snapping off anyway?"
No. It will always look rubbish if you over-bleach it. It will take longer to dry and 'elastic' hair always looks bad and feels bad. Nothing you do can hide it.

My view is that it will never look great until you have all the damage cut off and re-grow it. However, as you say you have wrecked it again, you may not be ready to know what you have to do to achieve nice quality hair. If you are going to go to the trouble of having it cut and re-grow it, there is no point if you continue to use damaging products on it.

In the picture with ginger hair it looks like you have layers that are badly damaged and I think it would be better for you to have it all cut into a much shorter style and get rid of that damage in one go.

There is no way you can achieve the look in the grey-haired picture. Your hair is too short yet needs a radical cut. If you get all the damage cut out and then grow it, you could achieve that in the future though. (Although the style of the grey hair is nice, you can see the quality of her hair is crap and over-bleached too. It looks very dry).

Best to get the damaged hair cut out, even if you end up with a short style. If you must colour it have it done at a reputable hairdressers.

I used to wreck mine by over-bleaching and it became like cotton wool. Then I had a light bulb moment and my hair, once cut out and re-grown, is now like silk. I have a really good cut and I wouldn't dream of ruining its quality with bleach now.

I think it's far better to have shorter hair in good condition than longer hair that looks and feels horrid. ✂️👍

I just had my belly button length blonde hair cut into a blunt collar bone length style due to postpartum hair los and hair damage. It was thin stringy and just looked a mess, I don’t hate the cut it actually really suits me! I look very chic and stylish however I do really miss my long hair and just don’t feel as confident or as pretty without it.

I also changed the colour which was the biggest mistake, I went a copper brown and it’s really orange. It just does not suit me at all and I hate it. Now I have to try and get the red out so I can go back to blonde, what an idiot.

The only way to "save" the quality of your hair is to grow it out and cut off the damaged bit (in whichever order).
However if you keep bleaching it it'll be ruined again, so not much point doing that if you're just going to carry on.

I'd say don't do a radical cut until you've got all the funky colours out of your system! Then when you've finished, have a proper cut (or maybe two if you don't want to go short in one go!).

Sorry, i should mention the ginger picture is a side shave that I've started to regrow.
Its about a years worth of growth, but is still fairly short, its not been cut or styled since it was shaved.
The blue hair is the length on the other side, but that's another reason I think I just need to start again.

No I don't regret cutting it off, I wish I did it sooner. In fact I regret ever messing with it, and bleaching for 2 years. What happened after 2 years is I got bald patches and suddenly developed an allergy to colour (my scalp obvs has had enough! ). I've been trying to fix it for 10 years, all natural methods, hair is much thinner than before and won't grow past shoulder length. So it's not just the hair that is damaged, it's your scalp and hair follicles too.

At least use high quality gentle colours, preferably natural. Luckily didn't get a reaction to Aveda colour, so did a very expensive colour correction one last time and grew out my natural colour.

You can revitalise your hair without cutting it off but it sounds a bit like you don't care too much about the damage as you want to continue dying it.

Use the red TIGi bed head shampoo and conditioner or OGX coconut miracle shampoo and conditioner
Use olaplex
Get a coconut oil and leave it in.
Never leave conditioner in for longer than ten mins as after that, moisture is pushed out rather than taken in so hair may end up dryer.

I cut my hair off into a short bob myself a couple of years ago because it was wrecked from bleaching, I’ve only had tiny trims since, now it’s bra strap length and very healthy, I only touch up my grey roots, it’s so much easier to manage and is shiny and smooth. No regrets at all and I will never bleach my hair again.

My stylist said yesterday that you should look at hairdressing like gardening - if you leave a rose bush it'll just grow, be unruly with the odd, small flower. If you prune it regularly, it will flourish and have larger, more beautiful flowers and healthy foliage.

In other words, cut the damaged bits off! 😁

I had lots cut off and loved it. Went from boob length to just below my jaw, cut into a choppy layered bob with a long fringe. I had to pluck up a lot of courage to do it as I'd had it long for years but no regrets, and I'm about to have it all chopped off again after letting it grow. Can't wait.

Do you never wonder why you feel the need to keep messing about with your hair. Cut it off and leave it alone, if it’s really dry massage olive oil al, over wrap in a towel and leave as long as possible.

@Valkadin you might have something there, I was in an unhappy relationship, I constantly changed my appearance including my hair, I was trying to escape being me and my shitty life.

No, i just like colourful hair 🤷🏻‍♀️

It wasn't from dying, but after years of depression and not looking after my hair, it was waist length, split ends up to my ears, frizzy and matted and just horrible all round. I took the nuclear option and went for a number 4 all over to start again.

I ended up loving it and I've been experimenting with different short styles the last 5 years - no regrets at all.