Daddy Daycare

[pandafunfactory]

Wtf is it with this? Why are perfectly sensible chaps describing themselves in this way when they are simply looking after their kids. It's naff and twee and American (shudder). I think it should be stamped out.

Aibu?

I’m a lone Dad, a few of my colleagues assumed I had a nanny, which isn’t something I realised until I couldn’t stay late for a meeting as I had to collect my son from nursery, you’d think I was off trecking up mount doom with Frodo.

Or when I put in a request to reduce my hours and work four short days I was asked by HR why I was doing that instead of his imaginery mum, I doubt they would have asked a female employee the same question when requesting flexible working.

But assuming someone/a group of people are shit at/incapable of something you’re essentially excusing that behaviour. We shouldn’t be saying as a society “haha dads can’t look after kids” we should be saying “anyone who doesn’t look after their children are failing them”.

You do sometimes get funny comments, particularly from middle age to slightly older ladies. Who almost always say in a little cute voice “wheres your mummy?” Now he is a little older (5) he will just very matter of factly say “I don’t have a mummy” which often leads to uncomfortable expressions. You do sometimes get unwanted ‘advice’ but people mean well so you just have to nod nicely and completely ignore their suggestions.

@Weenurse

Mine used to be house husband. Was very annoyed when his kinder duty was changed. Roster was changed so he could be on duty when the fire engine came! Also there was a washing roster, he never got to do the washing for kinder. Funny how that all changed when he went back to work and I was the house wife. Kinder washing found me no problems.

The fire engine?

An old fashioned fire engine came to kinder for the kids to climb on and have a ride in. I have a photo of him and DD2 having a ride and a great time.

Sometimes I think it’s just a lazy way to talk. It’s often easier to say “I can’t make it, I’m on DC duty” rather than “I can’t make it because DH already has plans to be out that night”.

That said I’ve not heard my DH speak like this. Not sure what he says come to think of it!

@Weenurse

An old fashioned fire engine came to kinder for the kids to climb on and have a ride in. I have a photo of him and DD2 having a ride and a great time.

Ah kindergarten, nursery.

Also if a sahd why did he need to be rostered on? I'm overly invested but your post has confused and intrigued me

Local kinder had parents on a roster.
There was a kinder duty help roster where you would go and help 1-2 sessions a term. Do reading, help with cutting and crafting, cut up fruit for break time.
Also a washing roster for towels, tea towels etc.
Local community kinder, 3 year olds had 2-3 sessions a week for 3 hours each. Mainly a way for kids to meet local kids and get to know them before starting school, general socialising.

@Weenurse

Local kinder had parents on a roster. There was a kinder duty help roster where you would go and help 1-2 sessions a term. Do reading, help with cutting and crafting, cut up fruit for break time. Also a washing roster for towels, tea towels etc. Local community kinder, 3 year olds had 2-3 sessions a week for 3 hours each. Mainly a way for kids to meet local kids and get to know them before starting school, general socialising.

Is a kinder a nursery? Your posts confused me

I pet hate! Me and kids dad broke up years ago and they stop over at his 3 nights a week and people act as if he's doing me a favour and "taking them off my hands" not because he wants to actually spend time with his own children 🤦‍♀️

I am not sure.
I think nursery is like child care where you pay to have your child cared for 1/2 day or full day while you work.
Generally a lot of different rooms with different aged children in each room. Staffed by people trained in child care.
Kinder is a community class, parents comprise the committee that runs it.
Generally fundraising to pay the teachers wages, and rent for the building.
2-3 sessions a week for 3 year olds, 4 sessions a week for 4 year olds.
Each session is about 3 hours long.
Staffed by trained kindergarten teachers and parents.

Oh no, not.... American!

www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2020/jul/18/mums-day-off-is-it-what-adopting-as-a-same-sex-couple-taught-us

Read this OP!

Also drive me and my DH mad. He also replied with the no I’m parenting.

It also drives me nuts when people coo oh DH carrying DS in the sling. People definitely don’t react in same way when I have him.

ODG...It's a play of words off the movie Daddy Daycare starring Eddie Murphy

Crotchety woman down the street is disgusted and horrified that my DH looks after our kids and does housework. She told me that it was terrible mothering and I should be taking care of the house and husband. It took all of my strength not to say, "Lady, your husband is and ex husband and your adult son is a junkie who has no access to your home without supervision as he'll rob you or threaten you!" She has no place to question my parenting or wife abilities.

It's irritating. Though not as much as 'full time Mummy'.

My dh was a SAHD when ours were little and now does the lions share as he works pt and I work full time. He was the one at school every day doing pick up/drop off and liaise with teachers. I did parents evening and pta stuff. I'm the one added to mums WhatsApp group and invited on mums nights out. He's so good to let me have a career. I always reply I'm good to let him have the lifestyle he wanted!

But I do get asked who is babysitting when I'm out. I just say "no one".
Yes, this annoyed me. Used to always get asked who was babysitting if I was out. DH never got asked the same question though. So the default assumption was that I was at home if he was out but if I was out there was no assumption that the DC's other parent was at home.

Regarding the film, it was only called that because the phrase was in use. Besides, imagine reversing the plot: woman looks after own kids for a day and high jinks ensue. Nope, that's not a plot.

@Weenurse

Local kinder had parents on a roster. There was a kinder duty help roster where you would go and help 1-2 sessions a term. Do reading, help with cutting and crafting, cut up fruit for break time. Also a washing roster for towels, tea towels etc. Local community kinder, 3 year olds had 2-3 sessions a week for 3 hours each. Mainly a way for kids to meet local kids and get to know them before starting school, general socialising.

Thank you for indulging my nosiness, that sounds lovely

@Monkeydog123 just being nosey.... what is it that annoys you about that phrase? It just means the same as SAHM, right? Or am I missing some nuance? I don’t know anyone who uses that phrase.

@ I assume it's because even though I work, I am very much a full time mummy
I don't stop being a mum when I go to work!

Sorry, that previous comment was meant for @crazychemist (not sure how to tag people!)

Sounds like

Kinder

=

Playgroup

Completely agree. It's awful.

My ex 'babysits' the HIS children one weekend a month. (His words)

It massively fucks me off.

@phineyj but that isn't the plot of the movie is it? It's about two parents who actually end up starting a daycare business with lots of children. They're not simply looking after their own kids. So the reverse would be "mum sets up a nursery."