To want to end it all.

[toomhch]

My 12 year old son is killing me. He's never listened, never gone to bed, no punishment works no bribery no nothing. If I go to bed he stands over my bed screaming at me till 2/3am. I just can't take another day. I want out. What can I do. I'm kicked, punched and assaulted daily. My toddler gets woken by this all night then is up at 5.30am I'm broken I just can't find the strength to carry on. He robs every penny from me. He manipulates and lies to me. I feel so out of control it's unreal. His dad was an abuser and I feel like I'm going through the same torment again.

He's 12. Give him pocket money. that's as much as he is getting.

I do. But it doesn't help the fact I get punched in the face each day and attacked. Nothing I do is good enough

He is screaming outside my door. I have to be careful as he perforated my good eardrum last week. I am already deaf in one ear from him now.

firstly for you.

What's he so angry about? Has it always been this way? Have you sought help from family, GP, school etc?

How long has this gone on for, are there any additional needs, has he been by GP and any other specialist etc?

What have you tried? Sorry for lots of questions. It sounds so tough

You need to get social services involved, you can't and shouldn't have to live like this. He sounds like he needs help not just you. Sending you a hug, it sounds awful.

Sounds as though your family are in crisis. So sorry. Who have you approached for help? How is he with other people?

You poor poor thing. Has your 12 to been diagnosed with anything?

I would suggest GP urgently tomorrow this is not a minor thing. The GO will either help.you.or point you in the direction of help. If they can't/won't ask for a second opinion. Don't give up.

Please don't give up. Your 2 children love you and need you.

Fight this. Don't take no for an answer keep.fighting.until someone helps you

I'm so sorry you are going through this OP.

How is he at school? Has the lockdown made this any worse than before?

Can you ask the GP for advice on how to deal with the violence as it sounds like a behavioural and he is too in need of help.

I have phoned MASH and SS on myself many times, they get a support worker in to take him to the park. Say it's all normal and discharge us. I literally begged them to take him as I can't cope and they did nothing. X

Sounds like adhd. Ask for a referral to CAmhs from your GP and use your other child's safety to get help from ss.
Also apply for Disability living allowance you don't need a diagnosis to apply.

@toomhch Your thread title is worrying me. You can phone the samaritans tonight - they will listen.

I agree that visiting the GP would be good, and can you maybe look up therapeutic parenting and non violent resistance? You definitely sound like you need some support - is there anyone from your son's school that you can speak to?

Things will get better and you don't have to do this on your own. Sending strength to you.

@HooNoes I don’t think your comments are particularly helpful

I second calling the Samaritans tonight - 116 123

@toomhch I'm hoping you haven't replied again because things have quietened down and you're both happily asleep. Let us know how you are when you can.

Im sorry you’re going through this. Please phone the Samaritans for tonight.

The PP that said ADHD may we’ll be right. Ask for urgent GP appointment and referral to Psychiatry UK under right to choose law. You’ll be seen quicker. If you are allowed to pick your psych, please ask for reviews, advise, I can help recommend on ADHD, not on ASD etc. You can get through this and things will get better.

Sorry to hear it. I would speak to your GP and get them to make a family referral for you. Or you can ring yourselves, it’s basically social services, but they will assign a family support person to help deal with his behaviour. Have you thought about putting a lock on your door also? Sound as if he has learning difficulties or trauma from childhood.

In the moment say something such as, “It is okay to be angry, but it’s not okay to hit. I am going to wait out in the hall until you finish screaming. I will be here when you are ready“. It might be that he’s trying to get your attention, so try and praise all the good things he does, and maybe set aside an hour a day that’s just for you two to bond again. A board game or something.

I'm so sorry you are going through a living hell like this. Please keep talking, we are listening

I am so sorry you are going through this. I really hope you get the help you need.

I've never said this before but for your safety and that of your toddler you should think about putting him into care for a while.

So sorry you're going through this OP, sending love and hugs 💐. Yes to asking for help, there's lots of good suggestions here. You don't mention your OH, if you're a single parent Gingerbread may also help.

Hello OP, we are really sorry to hear you are feeling this way.

We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources.
You can also go to the Samaritans website, or email them on [email protected]. Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.

We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

Don't panic, this is really a standard message that we put up, but we hope you are trying to take care of yourself as well as your son here.