To feel utterly shit I have gained so much weight?

[Duskypink2020]

I worked really hard to lose weight in 2018, I went from over 13st to 10st. It changed my entire life, improved my mental health, and made everything so much better.

This year I’ve absolutely ballooned. I weighed myself this week and I’m devastated to be 12.5 stone.. I’ve almost regained all the bloody weight!

I know exactly why - I do very well on a low carb diet with occasional treats, and intermittent fasting. It’s the only way I’ve lost weight and kept it off, but this year I had a cancer scare & subsequent MH issues, time in hospital, medication which has weight gain as a side effect, and then lockdown laziness.

AIBU to feel really ashamed and shit about this? any tips on getting back on track to lose it?

FWIW I’m not tall either, so I look and feel unhealthy.

YABU to feel ashamed. That is not going to help you get healthy.
I reckon most people have put on weight recently, I know I have.

It sounds like you need to be a LOTkinder to yourself, OP. and if you start tonight, you can be back in control and in the 11s by the beginning of September

Back on the low carb OP. You know the drill!

Be kinder to yourself. It is so easily done. Put your health first.

I will answer yanbu to feel shit. I'm currently in the same boat. I lost 4 stone last year and went from 15st 12 to 11.12st, I had about another stone left to lose until I was at my goal weight. Then quarantine happened, and I've regained 2 stone!
However, what I've learnt over the last month or so is the more annoyed I get at myself, the more I tend to binge. I got to the point where I said to my husband 'well clearly I'm meant to be fat, so I'll stay fat' and he told me I was being silly. Life has setbacks, and instead of letting them control us we need to accept them and move on.
Do you have any events coming up next year? (I sat next year because Covid has pretty much written anything this year off)
I've got a couple hen dos and weddings coming up, so I'm using them as my motivation.
Take one day at a time. You can do it, you've already done it! You've got this

Thanks for the replies

I know it’s no good beating myself up about it - I’m just gutted that I’ve regained so much, when I know how much better my life is when I’m a healthy weight - I tried on a favourite jumpsuit I wore to death last summer this, and I had a huge ‘spare tyre’ of fat around my middle !

@Pebblexox it’s so frustrating isn’t it - I wanted to lose a few more lbs when I was at ten stone, instead I’ve regained 33lbs

I have a holiday I’m planning for early 2021 (restrictions allowing ofc); definitely a good idea to have something to aim for isn’t it.

I know if I really gave it a go, I could be back down to 10st (or close) by the end of this year... thank you you’re right

Lockdown definitely hasn’t helped things, I know I’ve been comfort / boredom eating. I know gyms are meant to be reopening soon so I might sign up to one, I didn’t exercise much when I lose weight in 2018 so it would be quite motivating to improve my fitness as well as lost the 2.5 stone

I think a lot of people feel this way after lockdown, OP. And you've had other challenges on top of that - you'd have to be superhuman not to have put some of that weight back on. You've lost it once, so you know you can lose it again. And you're in a much better position than last time, because you have less to lose, and also know exactly what works. All is not lost!

Thank you @peardrops1 yes I definitely know what works for my body and I am really glad I’ve found what works for me - the first few weeks eating low carb usually have big losses too which will be motivating I hope - once I’m back at 11st something I think I will feel a lot better mentally

YABU to be so hard on yourself. You have had a lot going on. Be kind to yourself and do what you know works. You'll get there

I’m in a very similar position. I’ve been in denial to a similar degree but I got back on it on Saturday and am hoping that I can easily lose the first stone for a bit of a boost. For me it was baby no.2 and then lockdown. I’ve been in denial but I’ve seen a few photos of me that have been horrid and that’s been the spur. I was really shocked to see my BMI had hit 30.

@Duskypink2020 it really is! I find getting back into the right headspace is the hardest thing.
Little goals help too! You'll get there, try and be too angry at yourself. I know it's easier said than done, but just remember you've done it before, so you can do it again

I’m not dissimilar OP. I lost a stone and a half between end of March and mid June and then over the last month have put half of it back on! It was madness. I remember the exact day it all went wrong (a packet of chocolate gingers was involved) and after I fell of the wagon I just couldn’t get back on. Every night I say ‘tomorrow will be better’ and then the next day I end up eating secret chocolate snacks in the car and persuading my DH to buy pizza and wine.
Today has been a better day though and I feel like I may have regained a bit of control. It’s difficult and it sounds like you’ve had a rough time to chin up, positive mental attitude. You can do it.

Check out intuitive eating. I gained and lost repeatedly and it helped me realise we all have quite disordered views on food. The shame you are feeling is worse for your health long term than your normal weight being a stone or two more than you like. It sounds like you are restricting food and cutting out while food groups, which then means you binge and your body is in starvation mode. I weigh a few kg more than when I started, but I don't feel constantly hungry, I don't binge eat and I have lowered my body fat and resting heart rate. That is success. Not how you are feeling now and not losing 3 stone.

You've given some very good reasons why you put on weight during a difficult year, so don't feel bad about it. Punishing yourself and berating yourself never works.
There's not much going on during lockdown still, so its a good time to get back on track now that you've sorted some of the hospital stuff out.
Low carb eating sounds great, has dramatic effects but long term it can be restrictive and its very unforgiving if you cant keep up with it, so maybe its better to find a more sustainable long term plan.
Daily walks are free, the weather's nice and it would be a easy and excellent way of lifting your mood and easing you back into how you want to be and it all adds up. You can get there, all the best.

Maybe try a different approach than low carbing as it seems not to have "worked" for you.

And be kind to yourself!

Just realised I cross posted with the poster immediately before me.

I'm a bit like you OP, put weight back on in the last few months but it will be OK. You CAN lose it again. You've had some knocks but you know your body and will be able to get back to being a weight you are happy with

I think you are me OP. Almost exactly the same position. Gah!

I'm the same, but worse. I lost 7 stone up, but have managed to regain 5 of them. But I've started again, and have already lost 3.5lbs.

Well going by what you have been through this year, I think many people would have found it difficult to stay on track in the same circumstances.

Don't beat yourself up. See it as a blip in your usual healthy routine. Taking the first step to get back on track is always the hardest, so just grit your teeth and do what you need to do. You'll feel much better when back in the swing of things

I gained so much weight from March to May, probably nearly 2 stone in 2 months. I was burying my head in the sand about it until I saw myself sat naked in front of the mirror and I was horrified by the sight of my body, this was in mid-May

I went on a diet that night and downloaded a pedometer app. I've now shed at least 2 stone and I'm definitely thinner than at any point this year. The best outcome is my thighs no longer rub together when walking, so that has made exercise even easier. My app tells me I've averaged 11,000 steps over the last 2 months

I still have a way to go, probably at least another stone until I'm happy with the weight loss, but you need something to shock you into changing your mind set. Maybe your scale reading will be the thing you need x

I’ve put weight on in the past few months and overall the past couple of years. Weighed myself a few weeks ago and discovered I was 12.5 stone. I was that just before giving birth and put on about 4.5 stone then.

Had been in denial for a while but now I am counting calories and walking a lot more and have also started couch to 5k which is going well and I’ve lost 10lb. Am still feeling quite sick with myself for ignoring it and letting it get this far but am working on it.

Would like to get to 9.5 stone overall I think but am setting myself little milestones along the way