One man to another

[Newbiehere123]

So, I have a friend but we don't talk as much but have known each other forever and have a lot of friends in common. Basically she was married and has 2 kids but divorced around 4 years ago. Since her divorce, I know it's not my place to judge but I am seriously worried about her- she is literally in one relationship then onto the next .

I can't keep up with it on Facebook, she literally shares everything trying to make her ex husband jealous I guess. Every time she dates a guy, suddenly he has moved in already and they share selfies together of him groping her. She is in her mid 30's now and just recently she was with another guy throughout lockdown which was a new relationship as I remember I saying I CBA to even comment on the picture as I said to DH, again she's in another relationship. So she's been sharing meal recipes and all the family activities they have been doing and the new guy has been homeschooling her kids and now she's in another relationship with a new man🤭

What, when, how the F did that happen? We have just been released from lockdown? How the hell did you manage to find another man already. She has posted stuff about anxiety and panic attacks she has had in the pass and how she wasn't in a good place and I remember last year talking to her. I am really worried and surely it's none of my business but is this healthy? The kids constantly being introduced to new guys who live for a few months and go and new one comes along.

She is a lovely lady but I think she is really lost. If I saw her I would open up to her and tell her my honest opinion (we live in a small town) but I'm honestly worried because this isn't healthy. What do you think? Shall I keep my nose out and be ashamed of myself for thinking like this?

Hmm. Its a tough one. I'd worry about the risk of her having multiple men seemingly moving in and out of her house, and gaining access to her children, I'd worry about the kids not feeling that home is stable, and the uncertainties about having men they don't know very well keep moving in, then the sense of loss they must come to feel- especially in the case of the men who have been homeschooling them! Then id be concerned about the risk of sexual abuse from one of these men. She isn't exactly being careful if she's moving men in as quick as you say.
Though chances are, social services won't be interested and she isn't going to want to hear whatever you have to say.

Its clear she's in an unhappy place herself, and that her children will suffer. Do you know her ex? Does anyone who you're closer to kn

What do you think OP? Is she a strong independent woman who has cast off the chains of convention and is only now asserting her sexuality? Or is she adrift; floating aimlessly with the tides?
You know her, I don't.

*know her ex? Is he in a position to bring up these issues? Maybe he hasn't even seen the Facebook posts.

You state you don’t talk as much anymore so I don’t think it’s your place to say.

She has two daughters (9,7) which their well-being concerns me as well and exactly agree with everything you have pointed out @Rumbletumbleinmytummy and her ex does know about this as we live in a small town and everyone knows everyone. The ex has moved on and in a stable relationship, I went to the same school with the current partner.

@9PointsOnMyLicence she is not a strong independent woman at all if anything, she is adrift floating aimlessly with the tides. She had a job at the pub but obviously couldn't work due to Covid but I believe she needs these guys for financial and emotional support.

If I were to ever divorce which we were actually in a dark place a couple of months ago and much better now however, I would concentrate on dc more than anything. A sting of relationships would be the last thing dc and I would need. I would date probably much later when I'm emotionally ready and be absolutely sure which would take a long time before deciding to move in together.

@CuppaZa I know it really isn't my business but I'm literally 2 apps away from her profile to comment on a recent picture with her new bf to say "oh don't be sillly" and write down all the stuff I think but I won't be a keyboard hero, hence why I ended up here instead

It is just sad for the children to experience all this. And it's odd to post about all your life on Facebook, but sadly thousands of people do this now. But I would stay out of commenting to her about her life style, she makes her choices, and will have to deal with them herself.

Maybe try talking to the kids about how they feel about it - If they don't feel safe ect... then sit her down and talk to her about it because the most important thing is making the kids safe, and then helping her with what she's going through

You say that she is divorced with a couple of kids, I would say that it is quite normal for single mums to have lots of short relationships from the ones that I know anyway