To be feeling so hurt

[fuckcovid]

NC'd as outing
Disclosure, I'm 14 weeks pregnant, not sleeping well and pissed off so I may well bu
Dh is normally so good, kind and supportive but recently he's been a bit of a twat and I'm running out of patience.
He's working in the office, I'm wfh.. with 2 kids ages 10 and 6. I'm finding it very hard to balance and I've told him this.
He's made a few comments when he gets in from work, such as the living room is a mess, or the bins have been left out all day. I shut that down by asking him how many times he tidied the living room or took the bins in whilst working.
Then he expresses annoyance when I have to work past my shift. I only have to do this if I've had to stop working to see to the kids during the day. Trust me it's not a choice.
Today was the final straw.
I'm so emotional and probably a bit depressed. I've had a constant headache for 2 days now and I can't even take any decent painkillers cos I'm preg.
He asked me what was wrong and I said i was really struggling to hold it together.
No hug, words of support or any empathy.
I cooked for a total of 3 hours today... Sunday roast plus batch cooking for the week. When he finished eating the roast he said 'not your best effort is it luv' I told him to go fuck.
Then he asks me why I'm so cranky today. I said I'm not cranky I just feel so ill. Then he laughed! Wtf
Aibu for wanting to stick a fork in his eyeball? Or am I just being emotional?

YANBU - your husband sounds very rude and not understanding at all. If DH said that to me when I'd made a meal, he'd be doing the cooking from then on! Sorry you're having a rough time

Yanbu. Feed him toast for the rest of the week. Let that be your best effort.

You would not be unreasonable at all to stick a fork in his eye. If he really can't work from home to help you get some peace and quiet and solid working time in, he should be stepping up big time when he gets home. You're doing two full time jobs at once (child care and working your job); working in the office is a holiday in comparison.

What a horrible man.

I'd tell him to drop dead.Twice.What a mean and nasty motherfucker

YABU for not sticking a fork in his eyeball.

Next weekend take yourself off to bed and let him do the cooking for the week.

Tell him he can cook next week :) YANBU

Hi op, if I may be completely blunt I’d be reevaluating the relationship to be honest. The lack of respect imho is a complete dealbreaker.

He sounds like a complete wanker.

Both eyeballs and wiggle them about.

How is the cooking shared normally?
How is the housework shared normally?

Wow. Pregnant and trying to work from home with 2DC, you deserve a medal, lots of empathy and a DH who understands he need to step up and contribute. Don’t take this shit OP.

Are the older children his?

poor you, it's too much to handle and your DH should be stepping up.

PP suggested feeding him toast for the week? sod that: he can feed himself, you and the DC for the week, and just carry on as you were before with bins and tidying. Ignore the mess. Just don't see it. And if he comments your previous tactic was great.

I wouldn’t be cooking him anything until he apologises.
And the house can be as messy as you like.

Pregnant, working, two children and poorly and he criticises the state of the house (while not being prepared to do anything about it) and the meal you prepared for your family?

What an unkind, unsupportive chauvinist dickhead. He is perfectly able to cook and clean and he’s not pregnant.

Quietly take yourself off to bed without a word and let him deal with everything.

Thanks everyone
This is out of character for him. When we do the big weekly clean we do it together. He's a great dad (yes the older two are his) We've been married for 12 years.
He's normally kind and empathetic but these last load of weeks he's just been a bit of a wanker! I think he sees me wfh as a bit of a holiday. The truth is the entire opposite
I'm going to talk to him tonight. This behaviour isn't on

I would, given he is normally much better than this, ask if he is ok. He may be being an arse because he's struggling.

However, that doesn't make it ok and the rude comments are awful. He is bu

@fuckcovid

Thanks everyone This is out of character for him. When we do the big weekly clean we do it together. He's a great dad (yes the older two are his) We've been married for 12 years. He's normally kind and empathetic but these last load of weeks he's just been a bit of a wanker! I think he sees me wfh as a bit of a holiday. The truth is the entire opposite I'm going to talk to him tonight. This behaviour isn't on

Urgh! Yes it sounds like he feels hard done by and thinks that you're on holiday whilst he has to put himself "at risk" every day by going in to work. Talk to him and tell him in no uncertain terms that he's being a prat and will be getting his marching orders if he carries on down this road.

As he's not normally like this though, could there be something wrong EG job at risk, that's making him stressed?

Time to be brutally honest with him op. Have a huge blow out get it off your chest and even when everything has calmed down, make sure you stuck to it.

I run a business with my husband and we have had our moments, especially work related, things crop up there which wouldnt if we were not married and he would really take the piss and was to busy to address it. I really had to force his hand and actually ram it down his throat!!!! Everyone thought I was the mad lady, but I stood my ground, it did get joked about but everyone saw why I did it even him.

Now we laugh about it, he agrees that I was right to do it. Its not pleasant but sometimes people just need a damn good kick up the arse.

Wow he'd be washing his own clothes, cooking his own tea and looking after his own kids from now onwards. He's WAY out of order!

You're already doing two jobs, OP. Tell him to hire a cleaner and organise some meal deliveries. He could do something useful with his irrits instead of making snippy remarks to an exhausted mother-to-be!

Sorry you're feeling so grim. Those pregnancy headaches are murderous. I remember feeling desperate for aspirin or a glass of wine -- the forbidden foodstuffs.

Make a list or a like schedule showing how broken up your work had to be and all the things you had to do. Make a list of all the things he should do to help (eg making the kids sandwiches in the morning). Definitely talk to him, it’s not on.

It sounds like it was better than his best effort. I definitely would try and talk with him if this isn't his normal behaviour. You have so much on your plate and maybe he just doesn't see how much you're struggling. I'm not defending him, but maybe he needs you to make it crystal clear just how much you're doing and how crap pregnancy can make you feel.