AIBU being annoyed with boyfriend for cancelling coming to see me two days in a row?

[Outdoorsie]

So my boyfriend of 4 years had family members come to stay on Wednesday, due to leave Saturday morning and he told me he'd come visit me Saturday night (we live an hour apart) and that was fine. I'd visited him last 2 weekends.

Yesterday morning he said they were staying Saturday night after all and he'd visit me Sunday night after they'd left. This meant he'd also miss my dad's birthday lunch today. I would have liked him there, but said okay see you Sunday night. I text him at 5.30 to see what time he'd be here. Rang to say really sorry but they're staying another night. I'm not a person who demands his time but I was slightly annoyed. I wouldn't have minded if he'd told me he wouldn't be available for whole weekend, but it was the chopping and changing that annoyed me. Was I right or wrong?

If this is a one off and not typical of him, yabu. Sometimes plans have to change, especially when visiting family is involved.

Was it a one off or does it happen all the time

I often feel he prioritises family members over me. If it was the other way around, there's no way I would have cancelled the second night.

How often does he seem these family members? Did he know how much you wanted him at your dad’s lunch?

All you can do is tell him you’re disappointed and miss him then see if the pattern continues.

I think YABU. Family trumps girlfriend, particularly if they’re staying over and so obviously aren’t local and he doesn’t see them as often as he’d like.

I think you’ve just realised where his priorities lie.

He shouldn't have waited until you rang him to let you know - that's a bit rude imo, especially given he'd already cancelled once.

Sounds as if he has had a lot on his plate with family visiting. No big deal. Just get on with your own stuff and let him approach you when he's ready. If he doesn't then you have your answer.

Why didn't you join him when they extended their stay? He should have invited you

If it was a one-off then I would roll with it but your next post suggests that isn't so. A bit disappointing 4 years down the line. If it was a serious relationship I would have expected better... having to text him at 5.30pm on the day he's said he was coming to prompt a response from him saying he's not is inconsiderate

Is there a reason you can't go and see his relatives ? A four year relationship surely makes you 'part of the family' ??

I think it depends on whether this is a regular occurrence, which family it was and how often he sees them. I would blow my other half out without question to see my nan because we don't have a lot of time left.
Unless he was making a habit of this, I wouldn't be bothered.

Was he actually with his family..? Nonetheless, not the best.

Sorry OP @Outdoorsie, but I am with PPs, it seems he has shown where his priority lies 💐💐💐
(I would be royally pissed off if my BF of four years would do this!)

His priorities are elsewhere.

I would find this quite strange for a four-year relationship, unless there was something particular he was helping a family member with.

He should have told you before you contacted him the second day, not doing that is rather rude.

It would seem from this thread that I'm a demanding person but, yes, this would have annoyed me too for exactly the reasons you give!

Your not his priority... time to rethink this relationship.

How close were these family members?

Couldn't you have gone over there?

How old are you both?

Could you not have just gone there? I guess you couldn’t on Saturday due to your dads birthday lunch but I’d expect an invite over on the Sunday night

I also don’t like the feeling of being messed about and basically waiting around all weekend