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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be increasinly unbothered about the breast feeding support thing?

60 replies

wildpatch · 29/09/2007 16:34

now that breastfeeding is becoming an increasinly distant memory, i am finding less and less emotional energy to put into the whole support breastfeeding issue.
i am pro breastfeeding. and believe very firmly in a childs right to human milk, but,
just stick the baby on your boob, cover it up, and get on with it.
or, feed your baby something out of a bottle, and stop moaning about other people using their breasts for what they were designed for.

being a good parent is about so much more than just the type of milk you feed your baby in the first months of its life. jack the ripper was probably breastfed, look how wonderful a man he turned out to be. and most kids born in the 60's etc were bottlefed. they seem to be fine. (generalisation here, pls dont jump on me for inaccuracy of this fact)

aibu, or does anyone else feel so lacka(something, cantremember the word!)

OP posts:

beansprout · 29/09/2007 16:35

I think it just isn't an issue that is that relevant for you. We are all (naturally) most concerned with what affects us at the present time.

Original poster

wildpatch · 29/09/2007 16:38

but beany, thats not really a very good way to live though is it. if we are only concerned about htings hat are relevant to us at a particular stage of life.

i just find people get so het up about htis, and see no real reason to.

OP posts:

meemar · 29/09/2007 16:41

But that's a contradiction wildpatch.

People are concerned about breastfeeding even if it's not relevant to them now. That must be a good thing?

beansprout · 29/09/2007 16:44

I'm not saying it is a great way to live, I am just suggesting that you have moved on to other things. It's all really simple when it comes down to it, but that's not too helpful either.

SpawnChorus · 29/09/2007 16:45

Unfortunately there are still many women who are not getting the support they need/want, and as such I think it's great that there are so many people out there who are prepared to expend time and energy in helping them.

Mercy · 29/09/2007 16:47

I hope that if or when my dd has children there will be more awareness, education and support of breastfeeding.

So yes, I think an on going campaign is fine (even though I have never actively joined in)

And it's not just about bfeeding per se. Various other issues are involved.

iwearflairs · 29/09/2007 16:48

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Original poster

wildpatch · 29/09/2007 16:49

i just feel this is something deeply personal. why dont mothers and daughters teach this to each other and support each other. instead of government agencies and leafelts and all that sort of thing. why do we need big brother to tell us what to do?

OP posts:

beansprout · 29/09/2007 16:50

My mum couldn't have taught me and so I have been glad of the info and support available.

SpawnChorus · 29/09/2007 16:53

"mothers and daughters teach this to each other and support each other."

Yes, in an ideal world that is exactly what would happen.

AitchTwoOh · 29/09/2007 16:54

oooh, wildpatch... what's your point? that you can't be bothered because you've moved past that stage in your life? fine. or are you somehow criticising those who do still care?

fwiw, my mother tried to help me but she couldn't. nor could the bfcs. nor could anyone until i accessed high-level medical bfcs. i want there to be more of them about certainly, and i'd happily sacrifice the leaflets for it.

Original poster

wildpatch · 29/09/2007 16:54

flairs how horrible fo ryou.
i also mix fed ds1 because of traumatic brith, jaundice etc.
but i knew breast was best. and bottle wasnt evil. mom helpedme.. family helped me. dh helped me. perhaps i was lucky in that i have a supportive family, but isnt that what they are for?
it makes me feel really upset when i read threads about women not leaving their dc with their mothers because theire mothers didnt do things the way the current government advice is.
they seem to trust a fickle big brother morethan the women who raised them as babies, and if they are having their own babies now, obviously didnt do too bad a job of it. iyswim

OP posts:

Original poster

wildpatch · 29/09/2007 16:56

aitch i'm not sure what my point is either!
probly what beany said initially about me moving on and it no longer being relevant to me, and i'm bemoaning the fact that i am so shallow!

OP posts:

AitchTwoOh · 29/09/2007 16:56

have you seen Bringing Up Baby, wildpatch?
my parents didn't have car seats for us, because it wasn't necessary. but there's a good reason for doing so now.

Mercy · 29/09/2007 16:58

Iwearflairs - that's awful .

Surely then that's why more education re breastfeeding is important - so that women aren't pressured into bfeeding (to use your example, after a traumatic birth) straightaway but are given the opportunity, with support, to at least give it a go. And not for anyone to have to sign a form (appalling imo).

The education and awareness should be for mothers, fathers AND definitely medical staff.

moondog · 29/09/2007 16:58

If you are so not bothered why even bother posting???

Original poster

wildpatch · 29/09/2007 17:01

moony, maybe their is hope for me yet

OP posts:

beansprout · 29/09/2007 17:07

christywhisty · 29/09/2007 18:12

I get where your coming from Wildpatch

As Your children get older you realise that those early days are actually only a very small part of being a parent and far more things effect their lives than whether they were breastfed or bottlefed at the beginning.

Niecie · 29/09/2007 18:26

I am wondering with hindsight whether you are not reacting to the political correctness of it all. The pro-feeding lobby looking down their noses if you even contemplate buying a box of formula, those who bottle feed wondering how you can tie yourself to your baby, HV who just think you should give in, give the baby formula and stop bothering them, midwifes who don't care (though at the scaremongering of your mw, IWF). Everybody has a view.

It is nice not have to get embroiled in it all any more. I am sure that if somebody close to you wanted your advice and support you would give it but I can understand that you have had enough of reliving it all over again, it is passed and faded in significance for you. There are other parenting issues for you (and me) now which are more important.

Dare I say that I am a little bored of it now? It was a struggle for me, I am proud I survived and fed both children for over a year but really it isn't important any more. It isn't a cure-all for all their problems and difficulties now, if only it were, so other parenting decisions have to be made. That is not to play down the importance of it to new mothers in any way but there is only room in your head for so many issues.

NineUnlikelyTales · 29/09/2007 18:34

This made me feel really angry. Why did you feel the need to post it at all if you are not bothered by it any more?

I tried to "just stick the baby on the boob" but the baby couldn't BF still. Even with the BF support that you can't be arsed to bother with any more, DS still didn't latch on. But with that support I managed to find the energy to express for him. It was and is very important to me that he had breast milk. I didn't want to "just feed something out of a bottle" and what you said is very belittling to all the women here who have been through a really tough time doing their best to BF and having difficulties. I know you didn't mean it that way but it is.

I wonder how you would have felt if you had read this at the same time as struggling to BF? Very differently to how you feel now. I had a rubbish birth experience that upset me a lot at the time, but I am a lot less bothered about it now. I don't think I will go on the birth board and say I can't see what you are all getting so worked up about.

christywhisty · 29/09/2007 18:42

Wildpatch has not belittled anyone just realised she has got some perspective on what is really important on being a parent.

Before anyone has a go at me I breastfed one child and not the other and now they are 10 and I very much doubt anyone could tell which was which.

Dontknowmyarsefrommyelbow · 29/09/2007 19:00

Some very good points being made here.... I think you are right about the perspective of it all.
I am on maternity leave at the moment and I will soon be going back to work - I want to enjoy every minute of my time with my baby, this is a very special time for us both.

The last thing I want to be doing is stressing out about what / how I'm feeding him, as long as he is happy and healthy.

I will never be able to take this time back, he will only be this little once, and although I have been lucky and bf'ing has been easy for me - I can't imagine how upseting it would be if I was getting myself all wound up over feeding issues.

I am of the opinion that we should be kind to ourselves at this point in our and our babies lives. In 10 years time I want to be able to look back and feel as though we had the best time we could have together when he was so little.

bumperlicious · 29/09/2007 19:10

But it's so f*cking hard for some of us, and I really want to carry on bfing, not because I feel any kind of pressure from anyone, or because I think it'll make DD more healthy or intelligent but because if it is going right it is a lovely way to enjoy and bond with your baby. So yes I spend a lot of energy on it and seeking out support and I hope that when it is all over for me and I have perspective on parenting that I still offer other people support when they try and bf, or if they decide to FF either way.

I don't think it is as cut and dry as you make it out to be. I wonder what has precipitated your post? Tech - do we need a no bf/ff tick box in active convos?

bumperlicious · 29/09/2007 19:22

That was to the OP btw not DKMA!

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