To ask you how you embraced being an introvert?

[Claireshep]

Hi all!
I am after people’s stories about their acceptance of their inner introvert. I’ve spent so many years trying to change myself and convince myself there’s something wrong with me and just generally torturing myself for simply being who I am.
I feel as though I’m seen as a bit of a recluse or a loner and it has bothered me for as long as I can remember.
Only very recently have I had this wake up where I’ve thought, ‘maybe that’s just who I am and that’s ok?’
For example, I get so much joy from running alone, reading, creative things such as dabbling in amateur poetry etc but I have always tried to force a social and extroverted persona - leading to my demise to be brutally honest. I feel very drained if I’m round people for a prolonged period of time and crave my own time alone to recharge and balance myself - it’s like a physical need and I become very frustrated when I don’t get this time.
I’ve had some very dark moments after a severe episode of depression last year and I’m starting to try and accept myself and would really appreciate the perspective of others please.
Thank you very much.

Notice when you enjoy solitude.

Know your limits eg if going to see friends, let them know you'll stay for 2 hours in advance. Then you won't feel guilty for leaving at this time.

Plan quiet days after an event to recharge.

Introvert Doodles.
introvertdoodles.com/

If you follow on social media you’ll see loads of others, and a great insight into being an introvert.

For me lockdown has really helped me to see my introversion as a strength because I’ve been able to cope with it quite easily (and in all honesty I think it’s probably the happiest I’ve been in a while). I’ve also really started to excel at work without the constant noise of the office and this has been picked up by senior management which has really given me a boost. I’m not sure how long that feeling will last though when things get back to normal.

I think it’s a case of just trying to focus on what makes you happy. I always feel like I should have a big group of friends or a better social life, but I try to catch myself at various points in the day (even when I’m doing something mundane) and think to myself am I happy and if the answer is yes then all is good. I think its about letting go of what you perceive other peoples expectations to be about how you should spend your time.

I’ve realised during lockdown that it was my perceived expectation from others that I should be out doing something exciting all the time that was making me miserable rather than the fact that I wasn’t out doing something exciting all the time.

I have a night job (care) where I work with one other person and we aren't together a lot of the time as we have our own jobs to do. I like that. A nice chat one on one and then get on with my jobs (mostly housework) which allows lots of head space. I wouldn't like to be on day shifts where it's people people people.

(I am nice to people honest - it's not that I don't like people - I just like time alone too/more?)

I like the shift work because I also sometimes get a quiet house at home. (not so much now I have a toddler) but before when my partner was at his day job and my elder son at school, and I will again when the toddler gets nursery hours.

With this quiet time built into my life I can enjoy the busy family times and don't mind the odd play date/meet up etc.

My husband would like me to have a day job so he wouldn't have the kids alone so much especially at weekends but I couldn't do with people morning, noon and night. I also have the kids when he works.

Despite the worries of the last few months I have enjoyed being off the hook for demands and expectations as only local low key activities were allowed and I prefer them.

I love being an introvert.

My way of coping is to tell people about it. Close friends know I find big crowds exhausting and they’re used to me saying I’m peopled out so need to recharge for a while.

I have to feign extroverted behaviour for parts of my job, which I’m able to do no problem, but it takes its toll. I tend to plan my schedule so if I’m doing something very extrovert, I’ll have quieter tasks for the rest of the afternoon so rebalance a bit. It’s all about balance.

It helps that I’m married to a complete introvert too. We’re able to adapt our lifestyle to suit our needs without the other feeling left out.

@Polly111
it was my perceived expectation from others that I should be out doing something exciting all the time that was making me miserable rather than the fact that I wasn’t out doing something exciting all the time.

This sums up so perfectly how I feel inside. It’s not my unhappiness or loneliness that gets to me because most of the time I feel fine! It’s just like I have a guilt about the fact that I enjoy solitude and I make myself unhappy by telling myself other people don’t understand my personality and why I am this why. Why do I care?! I need to rid myself of this constant analysing what other people think I should do.

@NewtonPulsifer I’ve just followed that account, thank you for your input it looks great

I married and made friends with introverts. We spend a lot of time enjoying each other’s company in silence/taking kids off each other so we can have some peace. Meaningful relationships without the energy drain.