Collapsing in pain is not a priority for surgery

[Worriedsister101]

I’ve name changed for this as it’s outing so I don’t want it linked to my other posts.

My sister is suffering with a condition which is not life threatening but once a month leaves her in absolute agony for a few days, so much so she ends up in hospital on strong pain killers.

She was due to have an operation but COVID-19 put it on hold, understandably.

She has dealt with it every month since, but ended up in hospital again last month and was told she is now a priority for surgery.

Yesterday the pain came on so suddenly and so severely that she actually passed out. An ambulance was called and she passed out a further two times whilst the paramedics were with her.

She has a 5 year old daughter who saw the whole commotion yesterday, luckily she wasn’t at home on her own with her!

She went to hospital and they literally gave her morphine and said your case is still not urgent enough for surgery, there is a long waiting list and sent her home. Said to come back if she’s in pain again.

I understand we are in a global pandemic and things aren’t normal but surely they can’t just leave her like this? Surely passing out from pain does warrant her needing the operation even in the current situation? Or am I being unreasonable that she’s just got to suck it up until things improve?

Gallbladder? No, priority is given to cancer cases or surgical patients who can rupture or bleed or have an abscess. If your sister was septic she would get surgery. Pain threshold varies from person to person. You can't use that as a criteria. If it is gallbladder she needs to follow a strict low fat diet to avoid attacks.

Really difficult to comment without understanding your sisters medical issues and not being a qualified HCP. I’d like to think there’s a reason they’re not operating though, my understanding of the NHS is that people don’t just get left. I’m assuming you mean she should be bumped up the list as opposed to thinking there are surgeons out there twiddling their thumbs?? Has a consultant / her GP explained any of this to her?

YANBU because you are worried about your sister, unreasonableness doesn’t come into it when those kind of emotions are involved (IMO).

Ah no actually looking again at your post it's more likely endometriosis? Same applies. It's not a priority.

Also like to add that I’m sorry you and your sister are going through this, sounds horrible, hopefully you get some answers and she is treated as soon as possible.

Is it endometriosis since you mention once a month? Sadly loads of women get fobbed off about that because doctors assume if you've put up with the pain every month for years then another few weeks isn't going to make a difference.

I would guess endometriosis.

Sorry for what your sister is going through. Unfortunately because of covid, waiting lists are a nightmare at the moment. Everyone ahead of her is likely to be suffering too.

Does your sister have any private insurance with her company?

Yeah it’s endometriosis and she has a cyst on her ovary which during last months hospital visit she was told has grown, which is why she was told she is now a priority.

To be honest, I have said to her that people with critical illnesses should get priority as life or death trumps pain but then you hear of someone having an operation to straighten their toes and it makes you question what is right.

You’re not being unreasonable, while it’s a awful condition it’s not life threatening. People with cancer are still waiting for treatment, she just needs to suck it up. Maybe ask her GP for better pain relief.

Your poor sister. Of course they must prioritise life-threatening conditions.

Having said that, you should have a look at this article on medical bias. It specifically talks about endrometriosis and how it is often viewed as a medically "hysterical" issue.

www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/nov/13/the-female-problem-male-bias-in-medical-trials

We all understand that priority will be given to life-threatening conditions, but if there is any capacity for non-urgent care which I suspect there is, your sister needs to advocate strongly for herself.
Otherwise there is a tendancy to see women's reproductive problems as something which comes with being a woman and that she can suck it up for a while longer.

My DSIL had endometriosis and fibroids and had to really fight the perception that this is just part of being a woman and was not a priority. And that was long before Covid.

Good luck x

It feel for your sister. It took me over two decades to be diagnosed with stage 4 endo.
I would say up the pain relief from the GP and see look into whether it is possible to go private, I’m so sorry she is suffering so badly.

If I can offer some light at the end of the tunnel, elective surgery is starting back up. DH had a phone call on Wednesday to tell him that our Trust will be resuming elective day surgeries from 3rd August and he has been booked in for that date for a surgery that was cancelled due to Covid. I agree it is shitty she is having to wait when she's clearly in pain but hopefully she won't be waiting too long.

To be honest, I have said to her that people with critical illnesses should get priority as life or death trumps pain but then you hear of someone having an operation to straighten their toes and it makes you question what is right.

The same surgeon isn't going to operate on ovaries and toes! They are different specialities. Different departments and areas will have varying waiting times and lengths of waiting lists.

Yanbu. I’m actually struggling to walk anymore. But the dr don’t care. If you’re eyeballs aren’t hanging out your head they’re not interested.

This happens outside of covid - treatment for life threatening things comes first. I ended up in hospital on a morphine drip 20 times before I got my surgery. It's shit but blame the Tories.

@Worriedsister101

Yeah it’s endometriosis and she has a cyst on her ovary which during last months hospital visit she was told has grown, which is why she was told she is now a priority.

To be honest, I have said to her that people with critical illnesses should get priority as life or death trumps pain but then you hear of someone having an operation to straighten their toes and it makes you question what is right.

She has my sympathies. I suffered horrendously with endometriosis and often collapsed with the pain. It still took them nearly a decade before they’d agree to a hysterectomy, in case I changed my mind about having children. Apparently, “Women don’t always know what they really want and you might end up changing your mind”. I was 37 before they operated and was riddled with it, to the point that my bowel needed scraped. Fuckers have no idea of the pain.

Btw, the toe operation may have been more important because the patient may have ended up losing a toe or unable to walk, so you shouldn’t judge on their circumstances, either.

Priority will be emergencies, then urgent meaning cancer or imminent risk of life threatening emergency.

Suffering isn't considered as a factor to prioritise anyone.