New neighbours keep complaining to people kids being picked on but their kids want to play straight away after!

[Corkmom]

can you guys please give me advise i feel like im losing my mind! New neighbours moved in 12 months ago, we have lived in this estate 9 years and have never had any trouble with our neighbours! All kids play together then fight but we dont get involved. In moved a couple with 2 boys! They have been to nearly every door complaining! Yesterday my son was playing water gun fight with his friends including the son of this couple. My son is 9 theirs is 7 and because he and his friend next door wet him (after he soaked my younger son 6) his mother started shouting at my 9 yr old then the dad call him and his friend fuckers!!. Then 5 mins later after all the hassle the new neighbours son after causing all the trouble arrived at my door wanting to be friends with my son as if nothing happened! This is so annoying!! I was only out of hospital yesterday as i cut the top of my finger off and they knew this! Yet still called to complain! I told my son to stay away but if the 7 yr old keeps calling to play what do i do?? I dont want him to play with my 9 yr old as this is the 2nd time the mother has given out about my son she hates him. My husband is saying to give them 1 more chance.

Ps my other 5 neighbours and i all have kids they all play together and were the best of friends

I would say to the 7 year old that if he wants to play with your 9 year old his mum needs to pop around and confirm it as she has said she doesn't want them to play.

Thats the thing though! After giving out and shouting dirty language to my 9 yr old and his friend they have no problem.leaving theyre 7 yr old arrive at my door ad if nothing happened. They just want him out of house! Its so frustrating! If he was that traumatised he wouldnt be outside my door 5 mins later

I wouldn’t have the patience for this drama. I’d tell him to go home because they are not getting along.

I’ve had this, slightly different context as neighbours dd7 (mine Dd are 7 and 8) would lie that they were bullying her/saying mean things/picking on her by soaking into her etc - all lies as all the children in the street play this way and have always done so for the 7 years we’ve lived on the street. First few times we gave another chance and I fully explained to the neighbours child (When she knocked at my door) that she could play as long as x,y,z didn’t happen and last time I spoke to her mum and asked her to have a chat with her so we were on same page, her mum was ok with this. Whenever we’ve given a chance I’ve said they must play in my garden and have supervised like a hawk because if my children were being awful then I’d like to know and correct it, they weren’t. Last time they played together little girls mum yelled f this and that to my children from her upstairs window. I was so cross and knocked on her door and asked her to never say anything to my children and if they do something wrong she is to knock on my door and tell me but under no circumstances is she allowed to verbally abuse my children like that.
Next time little girl knocked I said “my girls can’t play with you anymore as when you play together there are a lot of arguments/fighting that upset you and your parents and playing should be fun so it’s best you play with the other children on the street and not them. I’m sorry.”
Then had the mother knock on my door complaining that my children are refusing to play with her daughter and she’s lonely, said the same to her and she said it’s not fair on her daughter and I told her I’m sorry you feel it’s not fair but it’s also not fair that my children have to tread on eggshells when playing with your child and that you felt it appropriate to yell and swear at my children. And will not condone this so to save my children and your child the stress, they have been told not to play with your daughter.”

It’s awful but I 100% will not accept that sort of language towards my children from anyone, Nevermind another adult. I do not speak to my children in that manner and don’t expect them to accept that from anyone else.
Neighbours daughter now goes out of her way to stand next to the fence saying awful things like ugly hair, big eyes, etc whenever children are out playing, her parents will be out in the garden sometimes and have never stopped her. My children are under strict instructions to ignore as they should know it’s not true (luckily very unbothered by others opinions of them) and she’s only saying that because she’s hurt/lonely/etc and told my kids let that be a lesson that if you treat people badly/say and do awful things then people have the same right, as you do now, to ignore you and not include you.
Funny thing is nearly all children on the street have now had parents say she can’t play with them because of similar incidents.

We live on a great street and from time to time will gently reprimand each other’s children if their language or behaviour is inappropriate but would never dream of yelling and cursing at them!
It’s a shame but not much I can do about it.

This is a really difficult and annoying situation. We had it for years with one family, they would come out with supersoakers but weren't allowed to get wet. These kids were out from 8 in the morning until late at night, they went from one house to the next, so it went on all day. Every time the parents call, every single time, tell them you don't, and won't, get involved with the children's squabbles. If they are not happy with that, perhaps they could ask their children not to call to your house. Its bloody annoying. I think you need to channel Catherine Tate, with an 'am I bothered' face.

I would explain to the child that due to the fighting that he can't come and play for a week. Then give it another go, but if the parents shout at your kids again ban play dates with those kids.

Send the child home every time.

I would write a note for the son to pass on to his mother to the effect not to send him around for x amount if time to give the boys ‘time to cool off’ of something. Do it every time and the parents will soon get over themselves.

Thanks guys you have really helped me! Its nice to know too im not the only one who has this! I have said since the incident the other day (father of child cursed at my child and another child) they will never play with their son again and i mean it! That way then my son wont be blamed. The mother also has a habbit of making comments to my son, im.going to tell him just to ignore her also, if she has something to say come to me. Thanks again