Teenage boys and their dads clashing

[Busymum45]

Omg my son (19) and dh (46!) seem to clash, a lot. They get into these in depth conversations about engineering, or space or whatever and ds says one thing, dh another and.neither seem to back down!! It's over ridiculous things sometimes, Ds thinks he knows it all and knows best..... the other day it got really heated so dh said ok lets leave it now and ds was still arguing his point as he walked up the stairs!!!!
Been like this for about 18 months and drives me mad.
Please tell.me this passes??!!

Is your DS likely to go to University soon?! My eldest was like that.. (only a girl.. it's not confined to boys!).. they literally couldn't be in the same room without arguing and it was hideous.
They needed space..actual physical space from each other, and a term or 15 (she did medicine) away at Uni and she started to appreciate her Dad as another adult.. :D
Now, if anything she is closer to her dad than to me!

If he isn't.. maybe it's time he moved out and lived with friends for a while.. ?

Done year at uni now on a year out. pray it gets easier, please!

Oh dear... hope the year passes quickly..I feel your pain ! I actually contemplated leaving my dh the year before DD1 left because I couldn't stand being referee any longer...

Usually as people mature, they start to accept that people can have different opinions and that that's ok.

It's hard to tell from what you've said whether DS feels unheard or unacknowledged by DH, or if DS simply won't rest until everyone has the same opinion as him.

I have a family member who assumes that you can't possibly have understood their argument if you still disagree with them(!), so they will explain themselves again and again as they don't seem to realise other people are allowed to have different opinions! Looking at the bigger picture, I wouldn't say that family member is emotionally mature, and I think this usually just comes with time and life experience.

I'm a single mum to a 19yo and we've never got along as well as we do now- I wonder how the dynamic would be different if his Dad or another man was living here? Unlike his siblings, he is Nc with his Dad who he clashes with

As a side note - I have years of clashing with him but ever since he left Sixth Form, things have been much better between us.

I called it "Old lion, Young lion". It happened when my sons were younger than yours but there was a period where they just seemed to feel the need to 'challenge' each other over everything! I put it down to my sons feeling the need to show they were 'grown up' and DH's need to show he was 'still the boss'. It calmed down after awhile and things got back to normal, but it was a pain whilst it was going on.

Yep have been through exactly the same. DS is a little older but still v opinionated and is always right - and still lives at home. In the end DH got so sick of it he vowed to just keep off any contentious subjects with DS - so no politics (that was always a fire starter!), no car stuff.... he nods and smiles and changes the subject. Maybe tell your DH that as the 'adult' he should give it a go. Older teens are notoriously opinionated and stubborn and there's no point in arguing with them.. I just hope that in a few years DS chills out a bit and he & his dad can have real conversations again 😬

This is interesting. I've three young adult sons and they've never clashed with their Dad. It's always been me they but heads with

It's way better now they're a bit older, youngest is 22. Just don't put me and eldest DS, who's a chef, in the same kitchen together