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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to expect DH to attend the eye test appointment

29 replies

KellyLDN · 18/07/2020 21:00

My DH who's 48 has been struggling with reading small print in the last year & on occasion has used a magnifying glass.

When booking my own eye test recently I said I'd book one for him also, as clearly needed. He didn't really respond.

Today was day of eye test & on way he told me he wasn't going, as if told he needs to wear glasses, he didn't want to & wouldn't be dictated to by me or optometrist! I probed further but he couldn't really articulate any further than this.

This comes on back of previous stand-up arguments about him not going to GP when he had a problem, citing he "hadn't been in 22yrs & was fine". (Clearly not!)

AIBU to expect him to look after his health?

OP posts:
RB68 · 18/07/2020 21:03

Tell him he is not legal to drive so best he hand over the car keys

I hate wankers that are so vain it takes over from common sense in terms of being able to see what you are doing when driving a killing machine what a tosser

Original poster
KellyLDN · 18/07/2020 22:29

@RB68

Tell him he is not legal to drive so best he hand over the car keys

I hate wankers that are so vain it takes over from common sense in terms of being able to see what you are doing when driving a killing machine what a tosser

It's making me feel like I'm a parent having to try & explain why this is important! I just want him to be an adult & look after himself.

I'm losing respect for him & cant even look at him right now!

OP posts:
ECBC · 18/07/2020 22:31

Erm he is being totally unreasonable and irresponsible. Also definitely illegal to ignore your eyesight issues as a driver

Shoppingwithmother · 18/07/2020 22:36

At no point have you indicated that he has any problems with seeing to drive though. Reading vision and driving vision are completely separate things. Of course having an eye test is a good idea, not just for your vision, but also your health, but he is an adult and if he doesn’t want to have an eye test he doesn’t have to.

jammyjoey · 18/07/2020 22:37

Take away his magnifying glass as he clearly doesn't need it then Grin

Leaannb · 18/07/2020 22:39

@RB68...Needing glasses to read small print is not the same as needing glasses for driving

Mmsnet101 · 18/07/2020 22:42

Stop parenting him and let him get on with it then? I get it would be frustrating but at the end of the day, he's an adult and will work it out eventually.

Usually it's only people who struggle to see distance that have issues driving btw.

Menaimum · 18/07/2020 22:44

Take his car keys. Reading distance is important when driving in order to see the speedometer and other vital dashboard signs.

AlexCabot · 18/07/2020 22:46

Without an eye test it's impossible to know if his distance vision is ok or not or if he's safe to drive.

ProtectAll · 18/07/2020 22:51

My DH needs glasses now to read small print but wears contacts instead, should your DH consider this if he is anti glasses?

Shoppingwithmother · 18/07/2020 22:53

That is bollocks MenaiMum and completely over-dramatic. If a 48 yr old actually wore glasses they could see well to read in (other than varifocals) it would make the distance vision for driving dangerously blurry and would be illegal.
Someone who has never had glasses until now and is only having problems with small print very likely does not need glasses for driving.
Saying “take his car keys” makes it sound like he’s just drunk 8 pints and is planning to drive home....

Original poster
KellyLDN · 18/07/2020 22:54

@jammyjoey

Take away his magnifying glass as he clearly doesn't need it then Grin
Was thinking of binning it! Lol
OP posts:
Shoppingwithmother · 18/07/2020 22:55

Oh and ECBC, no, it is not illegal to not have an eye test if you are a driver who sometimes needs a magnifying glass to help him read.

Original poster
KellyLDN · 18/07/2020 22:55

@Shoppingwithmother

At no point have you indicated that he has any problems with seeing to drive though. Reading vision and driving vision are completely separate things. Of course having an eye test is a good idea, not just for your vision, but also your health, but he is an adult and if he doesn’t want to have an eye test he doesn’t have to.
Correct, his long distance is perfect, it's his reading vision that's the issue.
OP posts:
cuntryclub · 18/07/2020 22:57

Tell him he is not legal to drive so best he hand over the car keys

What the hell Confused

Lots of people wear READING glasses. None of them wear them to DRIVE. They are for READING.

CherryPavlova · 18/07/2020 22:57

Tell him to go to Boots and buy a cheap pair of reading glasses. They’re fine for long sightedness.

Shoppingwithmother · 18/07/2020 22:57

Well my advice would be to leave him to it and don’t baby him. That also includes not reading stuff out to him when he can’t see it himself though!
He’ll soon get to the point where he decides to go himself in my experience Smile

Original poster
KellyLDN · 18/07/2020 22:58

@ProtectAll

My DH needs glasses now to read small print but wears contacts instead, should your DH consider this if he is anti glasses?
No, I don't think he would & besides, we'll never know as he won't go & have test! I want to dictate to him but REALLY struggling to just accept that he can choose to be this irresponsible! It feels so arrogant! Or am I being arrogant to want to force him to go! Men!!!!!!
OP posts:
slipperywhensparticus · 18/07/2020 23:00

Hr hasn't been to a doctor in 22 years? Is he even still registered?

Shoppingwithmother · 18/07/2020 23:00

When it comes down to it though, he’s only inconveniencing himself.... unless you waste your time getting annoyed about it!

justaweeone · 18/07/2020 23:01

Sounds like he's long sighted
Buy a couple of pairs of reading glasses from Poundland of different strengths and see if it makes a difference
It might make him think he needs an eye test and a proper prescription

Mangofandangoo · 18/07/2020 23:01

Might be worth explaining that even if he doesn't need ( or want) glasses, eye tests are very important to check the health of your eyes - something left untreated that could perhaps make him go blind

Long time glasses wearer here - don't see the issue 🤓

Original poster
KellyLDN · 18/07/2020 23:01

@Shoppingwithmother

Well my advice would be to leave him to it and don’t baby him. That also includes not reading stuff out to him when he can’t see it himself though! He’ll soon get to the point where he decides to go himself in my experience Smile
I agree, I need to leave him to his own devices & NOT help him when he can't see small print!
OP posts:
Shoppingwithmother · 18/07/2020 23:04

This is not longsightedness, by the way, to the couple of people who have said so. Longsightedness affects your distance vision. This is called presbyopia, which is the deterioration in your near vision due to age. The glasses you can buy off the shelf (not that I would advise it!) are for presbyopia, not longsightedness.

Original poster
KellyLDN · 18/07/2020 23:25

@Shoppingwithmother

This is not longsightedness, by the way, to the couple of people who have said so. Longsightedness affects your distance vision. This is called presbyopia, which is the deterioration in your near vision due to age. The glasses you can buy off the shelf (not that I would advise it!) are for presbyopia, not longsightedness.
I'm so wound up by this & know I need to control myself not others. I'll try & stop babying him & perhaps suggest he buys some glasses rather than help him next time. Thanks for the input folks, much appreciated.
OP posts:
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