What would you do?

[Lou898]

My mum and dad have both passed away in the last 12 months. My mum was in December. The funeral was in January and then with everything that has happened covid wise I’ve not been able to sort her house. I’m now on leave and about to tackle it but ....what do people do with all the things. I have my own house, so apart from a few odd pieces I don’t want or need anything. The furniture and clothing are all of good quality and well looked after but I don’t have oceans of time to put things on selling sites etc, but feel guilty that these were my parents worldly goods. There is Ercol furniture, denby crockery, Lladro ornaments, designer outfits, sofas that were rarely used.
Can anyone suggest anything or at least reassure me I shouldn’t feel so bad about this. I feel dreadful.

You absolutely shouldn't feel bad about it, I am sorry for your loss. Are there any house clearance businesses nearby?

So Sorry for your loss

I found this difficult when my mum died too. It was everything she had owned and it felt like a big decision to just get rid of things.

My sister and I kept a few sentimental things and the rest we asked first if any family members wanted anything and we took a lot of her clothes/ornaments to charity shops.

I hated taking things to the tip but I had to reason with myself that I couldn't fit everything in my house and I don't think it would have been healthy to try and keep everything either plus some things weren't good enough to give away.

It was a bit overwhelming at first but we just took a job at a time. Personal items and then clothes and then ornaments and furniture etc

I hope that helps x

Give them away with love to a charity. Or ask your local council if they want the stuff, they give furniture it to people setting up home. I’m sure your parents would approve

The British heart foundation take furniture etc. I think they even do free collection.
Donate clothes etc a charity that she would support

I'm so sorry for the loss of your parents.

If you list it as a house clearance on eBay/fb market place/gumtree but put details some of the valuable stuff people will come and clear it and then sell on themselves.

What ercol pieces do you have?!

The Ercol furniture is really worth something now so you might put that and what else you think is expensive on EBay but list for it all to be picked up the same day?

The selling app on EBay is genuinely much easier than it used to be if you've not used it for a while

So sorry for your loss

I’ve had to do this for my mum and nan, there’s a few charity groups who give to families in need of furniture and clothes can go to shelters.

The hospital I work at really appreciate clothing donations for elderly patients that come into hospital with nothing. We can then send them home in clothes rather than hospital pjs if that's an option. Sorry for your loss

Sort out the personal stuff, mementoes etc then get a clearance firm in. They will literally clean out the kitchen cupboards, empty the wardrobes etc as well as remove furniture. They sell stuff and net it from your fee and give stuff to charity and take what's left to an official dump

However you do it it’s awful.

Google for auctions, hire a van, and take anything that could be valuable there. We did that and the guys at the auction were lovely, tactful, and any unsold lots (after 2 auctions) went to charity shops. We’d‘ve maybe made more money on eBay but the misery and hassle wouldn’t have been worth it to me at the time.
Some things went to the tip, some to charity shops.
Some stuff was in a self-catering unit, basically all ikea and less than ( years old; decided to offer to charity outlets. I found British Heart Foundation very difficult and upsetting to deal with, in the end we have the generic Ikea stuff to DEBRA were great though and very appreciative.
I took photos of things I wanted to remember but not have room for. I’m not sure I’ll ever look at the photos but they made me feel better!

Op I am sorry for you're loss.
This is not an easy task. When I bought the house I live in we bought it lock stock....the family had removed the personal items such as pictures and the rest was left to me.
I had severely underestimated how painful it would be and I was only a friend of the person that had died. I felt like a traitor.
All I can say to you is take youre time......remind yourself they are just things.
I would strongly recommend a clearance firm or a skip.
I once did a tip run and the man asked if I worked in a charity shop-yeap even the charity shop end up there!
The clothes went to a residential home.
There were a few bits that were put on social mdia market place.
There is loads more still here in storage (Im getting someone to come and remove that soon). Hope all goes ok

Thank you for your replies.
@thisstooshallpass the ercol pieces are table, chairs and dresser. Not sure about corner unit I think possibly not.

I’m going to have to just take my time. The house is mine, not sure whether to keep, rent or sell yet either.

There are some penalties if you keep a house that is empty. Not sure of all of it but I know you have to pay council tax if it's unsold and/or unoccupied after a certain time, possibly a year. Best to check

Our local hospice shop collects furniture, so you may have somewhere local that does the same. If you have a local Women's Aid, they may be interested in household items for women setting up home again. Or other local charities.

Keep the ercol furniture and see if you can find one of their friends kids who wants it so you know it’s going to a loving home.

Rather than house clearance consider taking photos of everything and posting on a local selling page and saying first come first served and asking for charity donations. You can post stuff in one day and tell people to come and if it’s cheap enough people will drop everything. That’s when you know it’s going to go to someone who otherwise couldn’t afford it or will absolutely love it.

Don’t feel bad for it, whoever gets it will love it in the future it’s not being binned it’s just a cycle.

I have seven things in my house that friends have rescued from their grandparents belongings that they didn’t like but thought I would like and they love it when they come here and see them

I had to clear out my late parents bungalow a few years ago. I still have loads of stuff in our garage now - despite using eBay, GumTree and Freecycle!!!
I didn't want to use a house clearance company because you have to pay them to collect stuff AND they also make money from what they take!!!
I would much prefer to give to a charity that will collect.

Check out any vintage shops in your area. They may happily pay for and uplift the Ercol and other bits.
We sold lots of bits that way and the proceeds went to treats for their grandchildren.
It took months and I still have some small pieces in the attic that I don’t want but I knew they meant a lot.

So sorry for your loss
There's no rush to decide, take all the time you need

It’s absolutely the worst job anyone has to do. Its intrusive, and at times you will feel disrespectful. But it’s something that has to be done.

What we did was move everything out if one room then use that room as the “keep” room. If its not in that room it goes to the charity shop/clothing bank/tip/house clearance. And you have to be ruthless.

My poor mum kept my birthday cards of yrs gone by but to me they meant nothing. So i got rid of them. I felt awful but why would i need to keep them? It may be sentimental for one person but not to another, hence the ruthlessness.

Take your time if the house is just being left to you and nobody else.

I just had to do this but I was on a schedule as my siblings were entitled to portions and since we’re not close I felt pressure to sell the house and then divide the proceeds.

If you’ve got time, use charities as much as you can. My local Facebook pages had appeals out to help struggling families and I found great comfort in giving things away to help others. It was as if my parents belongings now had a legacy.

I kept only a couple of sentimental things and jewellery, lots of pictures too. Then I videoed and took pictures all around the house so that I would have that memory forever.

Firstly OP, very sorry for your loss.

If you have difficulty (in whatever form that is) of dealing with the contents of the house, then take the items that mean something to you and then call in a charity. This way they can sort out selling the clothing, furniture, household items and disposing if anything else. You can then feel good to know their items have helped others

If money is not tight, don’t worry about the ercol. If you can’t deal with the sand if these things, you can’t deal with it. Nothing wrong with donating it. The charity shops will know the worth.

It’s a lot to photograph, describe etc to list each item, then deal with enquiries plus all the collection and payment issues. Yes, listing can be easy but not so all the other stuff.

Do not feel guilty. If you parents things are going to raise funds to help those in need, that is a good thing. Do not feel guilty.

Again, very sorry for your loss.

If you don't end up going down the route of house clearance taking everything then one thing to look at is a local homeless charity. We have found they are extremely grateful for donations and often accept things which charity shops don't really want. When housing is found for someone they often have to wait 6 weeks for any money at all so whilst they might have a roof over their head they literally have nothing in it. Our homeless charity will take all kinds of household items in order to kit people out and means they either have things temporarily or permanently which they don't have to buy - lamps, draining rack, bucket, plates, cutlery etc etc etc. They will also happily accept clothes, coats shoes etc for people living on the streets. We also donated food to them to.

Another option is to try a local Facebook group for anyone with a contact to a refuge. People fleeing domestic violence often leave with no possessions so again anything you are able to donate is very gratefully received.

You can do so much good with a house full of regular belongings which you already have and don't need doubles of.

If you're in no rush then take your time, sell some items and then donate the rest. So sorry for your losses.