Would you feel uncomfortable?

[pinkdove]

My workplace has more men than women. There are a few buildings around the site, and I am based in a building where I am the only female based in it )I have my own office)

I have never thought anything of it, but a male colleague has said something that has unsettled me. He said it's wrong that I am based there as the only woman, and if I was his wife he would not let me go in. I said I have no issue with it, no one has ever said anything strange or given me cause to feel uncomfortable or uneasy. And he said 'they will be thinking things though'.

I didn't feel uncomfortable before but I do now. Should I be concerned as the only woman in the building? There are other women at the business, they just work in a building next door

Is your colleague a Neanderthal? I would be reporting this.

Well there is one weirdo to avoid but other than him the others are probably fine. I have worked as the only woman and found it entirely normal. I would be inclined to shit him down and to watch in case he is trying to make you feel uncomfortable.

I would only be concerned about the guy who said that. What a creepy and unkind thing to say to you. He was intentionally trying to upset you.

I meant shut him down but shitting him down is better!

I agree about reporting him.

Yes I'd be concerned.

For his wife!

No not at all

Mmm so he is thinking about you maybe some others are I sometimes have a thought about a colleague that I don’t really want to act on it’s just a passing thought and at times had the odd crush

He is being ridiculous is his wife a prized possession or are men not able to control themselves

What a weird comment; I don’t see an issue with it apart from perhaps with him now

Yup HE'S the creep, it's a weird thing to say. Stay clear of him if you can

OP what exactly are you unsettled about? What do you think is going to happen? People hold all kinds of opinions about all kinds of things, he didn’t say anything threatening or offensive. You need to not give it headspace.

I'd report him. Was it said as a threat, insult, or suggestion? Either way not good. As a human being you have a right to work in peace and safety in your place of business wherever that may be.

However he meant it, he shouldn't have said it and if definitely be reporting it to HR.

@sst1234 because I never thought it was weird before or gave a thought to what people may think, but now I am

I would have confronted him immediately asking what the fuck is he implying.

And he said 'they will be thinking things though'.

Who is "they" and what would "they" be thinking? That you're the office slag who can't control herself? That you only work there to find a man? Or perhaps you're daft and will let the men take advantage of you.

I would be furious about this.

I’d report that. No way on this planet is it even remotely ok to say that to someone- is it a confession? A threat? What? Aside of all that though, no, I would never have thought to be concerned at being the only woman present in a professional setting. Or even a personal one for that matter. I tend to err on the side of “not all men are gutter minded filthy rapists who can’t control their “urges””.

I think it depends on his motivation surely?

It really isn't weird to be a female working with mainly males.

He is the weird one here.

I’d find the comment very unsettling, it comes across as a threat to your personal space/peace of mind.
If you did not feel your location was a security risk before it’s now certainly on your mind.
He needs to be reported and disciplined for his unprofessional comment.

It says more about him than you or the company.

I was the only female in a company for a few years (altho smaller than yours) and I generally found the men easier to deal with than other female office politics I've encountered.