How to find Long lost brother

[fastnfurious]

Posting for traffic and the wonders of mumsnet!

My half brother who I've never met Is now 16. I'm curious to find him but I'm pretty sure he's changed his name as our df is an absolute nutter and I'm sure his dm doesn't want him to be found by him... I'm not in any contact at all with df and never will be. All I can find is the month and year his birth was registered, his mums maiden name, his birth district end that's all. I've tried name variations on FB, tik tok etc his birth name is highly uncommon but the possible variants I have are very common and his mothers maiden name is common. I'm thinking maybe she has remarried by now and he has taken his step fathers name. Maybe I'll just have to wait until he's on an electoral roll somewhere in a couple of years. right now I wouldn't make contact with him anyway as he's just a child but I guess I'm just curious to know what he looks like and if he's ok

Just wondering if you awesome lot have any super sleuth ideas... I've literally tried everything I can think of.

I wouldn't do it to be perfectly honest. What are you looking for from this?

I think you need to leave it at least a bit longer. .
I have a 16 year old and they are Monday mature enough to deal with something like this.
There are too many variables maybe they dont know about you etc.

I would do an ancestry DNA test and wait and see if he does the same. I think it’s lovely you are looking for him.

I’m related to someone who has been rejected by half siblings and it’s very painful for them.

I only say this because via ancestry.com or one of those sites, a half brother - my dad's son that we didn't know about, tracked us down after my dad had died.

It was okay at first, but hasn't really worked out well a few more years on.

The emotions that are brought up over this situation are not to be taken lightly.

You need to hold off on this for several years, at least. He's at a very vulnerable age and it might be too much for him to deal with.

You need to hold off on this for several years, at least. He's at a very vulnerable age and it might be too much for him to deal with

Also totally agree with this.

Of course all don't worry I am not intending to contact him at his young age at all. I have another brother who is 16 and i know they're vulnerable at that age... I'm Just curious for myself as to where he is etc

I don't think giving you advice on how to find him would be appropriate, as you could just as easily be the abusive father trying to find his ex through their child, or a well meaning sibling who has been taken in by an abuser.

Sorry if that offends - but safety is the most important thing here.

@MitziK very good point actually! I'm not but still how would anyone know that for sure. I'm happily married with 3 kids 13, 12, 8 so I may know my intentions are good but how would anyone else on here. I guess I thought it was a quick FB search away but that's not the case as I've heard he's changed his name so our DF can't find him. I don't know if my half brother even knows I exist and If I was ever intending on making contact I would do so through his mother. But I'm not intending to anyway... It's just I've been curious

Also I'm guessing my DF knows the mothers full name. I have her maiden name but beyond that I have nothing. It's probably a search dead in the water for now tbh

I think you should register on ancestry.com but other than that leave it. Sounds like they don't want to be found.