To be pissed off with next door's handyman

[Thesaltandthesea]

Currently 5m pregnant so aware hormones may be playing a part in this.

Our next door neighbour is in her 80s and is recently widowed. We've looked after her throughout lockdown and over the last 6 years we have lived here she's become like family. In recent months another neighbour (in his 60s perhaps?) has taken it upon himself to help her out with some odd jobs - outdoor painting, building flat packs etc. All things my DH has offered to do for nothing but she says she feels sorry for this man as he had to retire early so doesn't mind paying him. We think he's ripping her off and have gently mentioned she should be careful.

Today he was there pressure washing her driveway - I dread to think how much he's charged her and I'm fairly sure he's done more damage than good as he's blasted most of the sand out of the mono block. He has also blasted a tonne of mud all over my new car (adjoining driveways). AIBU to be mightily pissed off about this? By the time I'd realised he had gone so I've had a huge moan to DH about it instead. I know next door would be mortified if I told her but how should we handle this, if at all? DH thinks we should just take the car to the car wash and suck it up. Is the handyman a CF? There's no way he wouldn't have noticed.

I think its fair to be annoyed but probably not worth kicking up a fuss about. If it happens again then I would mention it to the handy man.

I would be careful.
There are scammers actually getting houses like this.

Sounds like your neighbour is being financially abused. If she's of sound mind I'm not sure there's a lot you can do though. For your car I would definitely be knocking on the door and asking him to pay for the car wash.

Ring your local council for advice. They have a vulnerable adults dept.

I would politely tell the guy you are aware he is charging your neighbour for things he is doing and youre concerned as she is of an age she is perhaps vulnerable so he needs to stop. If he doesnt then involve the police.

My in-laws preferred to pay their neighbours to help them rather than ask us to. (We lived 60 miles away and had a young family.) W e were always grateful to the neighbours for helping them out, but after they died and I went through all the finances, a lot of money was unaccounted for, not to mention possessions.

Do you have any evidence he is defrauding her / ripping her off?

As regards pressure washing it is normal and unavoidable to rinse the sand out. Normally it is left to dry for a day or two then new sand brushed in. You do normally have to expect a few days of hot weather though because the sand doesn't brush in properly if there is any moisture in the bedding layer

I'm glad I'm not the only one who is worried he is potentially defrauding her. I have no evidence other than he seems to be there CONSTANTLY doing odd jobs. He's a bit of an odd character as it is. NDNs son is currently visiting from Oz - got stuck during lockdown so is staying in a local Airbnb - I might mention it to him next time he's round.

I've calmed down a bit about the car. I think I got myself would you because I've literally had it 3 days and it's not new and shiny any more!

Wound up*

Mention it to the son. Absolutely. There was quite few cases where elderly were groomed by friendly face into paying over the odds and when money run out... "Don't worry, just sign the house over. We will put it into perfect condition and you will still live in it" when there was nothing wrong. Made up jobs... If it's not the house, it can be cash. It can be anything valuable.

How much is he actually charging her? Are you sure he’s ripping her off? Personally I would prefer to pay someone a decent wage to do things for me rather than rely on favours from a neighbour. Maybe she feels the same.

Please just keep an eye on your neighbour,DH used to know a guy who he thought was the salt of the earth used to do odd jobs for all the pensioners in the neighbourhood..until he got caught on a secret camera set up by a concerned son, who lived away
By that time he had stolen over £37K and no one knows how much he had taken from others as many were too embarrassed to say anything, he got a minimum jail time and the money was never seen again.