Messaging your ex

[weddingdressdilema]

If you were in long term relationship with someone and you broke up several years ago - is it weird to message them to say 'have a great wedding day'.

On good terms but no longer see each other.

You congratulated them on their engagement but then heard through mutual friends when the wedding was and sent them a text.

Weird or not?

Additional info - the person is also in a relationship

I think it's a little weird if the ex didn't tell you themselves when the wedding day was.

A text can read differently to how it was meant as well, it could sound bitter or resentful, or creepy.

Possibly intrusive since they had not chosen to tell you the wedding date.

Yes it's weird. I'd be upset if I was the bride to be and he got a text from his ex just before our wedding.

If you haven't been invited to the wedding, why would you? What do you want to achieve?

Weird.

My ex actually came to my wedding and we are going to his next year.
So normal to me

Definitely weird. Stay out of it.

So weird when it wasn't the ex that told you. You'll look crazy, I assume you're the one that wants to send the text?

I wouldn't. I'd then concentrate on their wedding. Being brutal, chances are that they wouldn't notice if you didn't text but they might be a bit thrown if you do.

If you really feel the need, I'd wait a couple of weeks and send in retrospect.

@myfavouritefudgecake it's not me - I think it's weird!

I don’t think it’s weird to hear someone you are fond of is getting married and saying “congratulations on your wedding, I hope you have a great day and wish you both the best”.
If you are contacted in the week running up to it with just “Have a great wedding day”, for some reason the latter would make me think they are hoping for a last minute shag.

Yes, weird.

And slightly stalkerish if they didn't even tell you when they were getting married.

I'd take it as a sign you care more about yourself and wanting to show you're 'ok' with the whole wedding (like they need your blessing!) than about them. Lucky escape.

If the person hasn't told you themselves, there's a reason why.

I would tell them I hope they have the best day on public posts such as fb but would never message them. If someone had done this to my dh I would think the woman had some feelings for him/had been reminiscing about what could have been.

I think it's a bit weird and intrusive to do it on the actual day when their mind should be on other things

Send a card maybe?
My ex did when I got married (via my parents' address. Ok was before texting but I appreciated it.

Don't see the problem with it.

No not weird. Think that's being an adult. Nothing weird about being happy for people. If I was younger though I'd prob say its weird as I was immature. it's really not.

My ex is engaged I've said congrats as we are fb friends and still get on.

I think if you we’re friends and knew when the wedding was because they’d told you etc it wouldn’t be weird.

But if you only hear from second hand sources, and obviously aren’t in touch enough to be talking etc - then yes I would find it weird.

I mean I think weird unless you’re friends.

Yes its weird.

What kind of response did they get for congratulating the person in their engagement? Might not be that odd if it's generally friendly between them. Still think sending a card would be a better way to convey best wishes though, a text is so direct and would presumably expect a response.

Weird. I would only text if ex had told me of his wedding day himself