Locking children outside as punishment in 90s?

[DearLiza]

Was this ever ok or is it just shit parenting?
(Inspired by the smacking thread)

This happened to me age 6ish. IIRC I was crying bc my mum was brushing my hair and it really hurt (I have very thick, curly hair which I don't brush often these days).

My mum reached the end of her tether and ordered me out the back with a snib lock on. It was cold and really scary. I didn't have a coat or shoes on. She was an unhappy, volatile person pf whom I was very much afraid.

Was this a thing people did then?
Yabu- can be ok

Yanbu- No, it always has been poor parenting.

No it wasn't a thing then. This was abuse.

No it’s shit

My mum said when she wet the bed her mother would lock her outside in her wet nightie, even in the snow.

Yep, I had the loveliest mum and got put out occasionally for being a shit. Never without suitable clothing or to indulge my mum's rage. More to stop her doing or saying something she'd regret and give her some moments to cool down.

Being put outside was not the problem OP. It was how and why your mum did it.

Thanks Happyspud, I know what you mean.

My teenage boyfriend's mum used to do this to him and his brother. She did this throughout the late '80s - mid' 90s. She was a useless parent frankly. But they preferred her to their Dad, as he'd just hit them with electrical cables when angry .

Both brothers left home as soon as they weren't eligible for child benefit any more and have very rarely spoken to either parent since. This was not normal then, I remember even my very strict mother being absolutely horrified hearing about their way of disciplining my bf. A teacher contacted social services at least once, but nothing was done.

My Dad did this to me once, I was between 8-10yrs old. I can't remember what I had done but he put me outside the front door. I walked off down our road in my nightie. My Dad came out after me, marched me back to the house with a smack around the back of the head.

No, I don't remember this ever happening.

We were often sent outside into the garden when tweens / teens when annoying my parents, but we'd have suitable clothing and drinks etc and the garden was full of stuff to play with.

What happened to you was abuse.

I had 90s children and no that wasn't a thing or normal or acceptable to put a 6 year old outside and lock the door because you were grumbling about getting your hair brushed!

There's an infamous kidnapping/murder case in Canada where the parents locked their rebellious 14-year-old daughter out of the house when she missed curfew. She was picked up by serial killer Paul Bernardo shortly after: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murder_of_Leslie_Mahaffy

So sorry this happened to you OP. I think that's abuse. If you wouldn't do it to another adult who you were angry with, why would you do it to a child?

Not this but back in the 90s I remember you could come home from primary school alone at a pretty young age, I use to come home and regularly my mum wouldn’t be in, weren’t allowed a key so had to sit in the garden and wait for her, sometimes she wouldn’t be back for hours. It was horrible.

I was a 90s kid, yep it happened.

I was smacked code word for hit really a lot and I think a lot of parents thought banishing a child to the back yard/locking them in their loo or locking them in their bedroom was seen as a nice punishment . Certainly I can remember being told, “Right, I won’t hit you this time but I don’t want to look at you, get outside until I can look at you again/until you are sorry and mean it.”

I wasn’t the only one, the girls a few doors down had similar experiences and I’m sure other school kids I knew went through it.

It’s awful, it’s wrong and I’m not excusing it but I think some parents didn’t see it as a big deal because quite often then kids would be left outside the shops or pubs etc and as babies lots of us were left in our prams in the garden etc. Thank God we know better now.

I was regularly told to pack a bag from the age of 3 and stood outside waiting for them naughty children’s bus’
Older I was marched out with said bag being told she was taking me there personally only to then break down and take me home

If I was naughty I was often put in the garden and told if I behaved like an animal I could be treated as one the first time she gave me a bowl of water and I tipped it up I never did that again as I realised after the first time I would actually want to drink it ☹️

Me and my brothers used to get sent out to the doorstep to eat if we didn't sit properly at the table or mucked about. I always had time to grab my coat though.

Forgot to say I identified with the hairbrush thing! My mum broke a paddle brush clean in two on my head when I was 10!

I'm not sure if this is the same really, but my Mum would send us out and lock the door behind us. This was in the 90s, my older brother and I were 10-12ish, so not super young. She was a single parent, with three of us in a tiny house and no support. I think she'd just reach the end of her tether occasionally and she'd send us out. We'd just go out building dens and exploring - it's not something I have negative memories of, but I can't imagine a parent doing it nowadays!

(She was a brilliant mother - and still is - for what it's worth)

You can almost hear the convoys on the school playground Mum1: "Oh Sarah was being a right pain in the arse yesterday she was doing my head in so I kicked her out in the back garden" and Mum 2 "Oh yeah, I do that to Paul all the time"

Only Sarah's mum kicks her out the back with a coat and drink, some things to play with, my parents would often send out whatever book I was currently reading etc for an hour so everyone can calm down and get out from each others feet.

Paul's mum shoves him out in the rain with no shoes or coat for 3 hours.

Both parents sound like they are doing the same but they really aren't.

Ofcourse not always mums, I default to that as my dad worked nights so mum would be the one with us during the day. I'm sure dad's did it too.

Friends SIL does this, she has 4 kids but the worst part is she's a primary teacher. I was horrified.

Yep, this happened to me too. It wasn't ok. YANBU.