To refuse to feed DD?

[Tiredandfedup21]

DD just turned two. She used to be really good at feeding herself but we moved a few months ago and suddenly stopped so I’ve been feeding her with a fork to get her to eat anything substantial and have probably set a bad habit. She now won’t feed herself.

I read yesterday that children should be feeding themselves completely by 2 (but are usually able to much earlier!) so I’ve decided to not feed her at all. She ate a surprisingly good dinner last night plus fed herself a yogurt so I thought we had success!

This morning, however, she has literally eaten 3 spoons of porridge herself and that was with me putting the porridge on the spoon and handing it to her. I can tell she’s still hungry because she’s clawing at my boob (a whole different thread!)

I don’t want to feed her but feel bad that she’s obviously hungry! Wwyd? Do I persevere? I know they say children won’t starve themselves but I feel so guilty!

Does she go to childcare at all? My dc is a totally different child there - a real angel. So I only really worry about stuff if she's doing it there too

We had new friends over earlier this year and the mum was still feeding her Yr1 child!!! He's obviously perfectly capable of doing it himself but they've just got stuck in this dynamic.

I'd be going for a zero tolerance short sharp change now rather than letting it potentially drag on.

I’ve never fed either of mine( blw) but Ive learnt not to worry about quantity. They are more than capable of doing it so at 2 I’d let her crack on. Sometimes I think they can have phases where they just aren’t very hungry. Both of mine have gone through phases of being bottomless pits and eating like a bird. I think if you always try and cagoule or feed them it’s taking away from their natural ups and downs in appetite. It took me a while to be more chilled about it though.

Is it an attention thing? If you sat with her and did something entirely different but handed her the spoon without commenting on it she may then just start eating as a habit. My DD started wanting to be fed and I think it was because I would be busy in the kitchen while she ate but not actually sitting with her giving her attention which is what she wanted/needed.

Compromise. Let her eat what she can, help her with a bit more if she needs it.
Don’t turn something so important into a battle or debate, it’s not worth it.

I occasionally still feed ds who’s 3. Usually I do a few spoonfuls and load the spoon and say come on eat up, I’ll spoon some more when I’ve eaten some of mine.
Sometimes I have to spoon some more but usually he gets on with it.