Was I silly to give my number?

[OMGMyLifeIsCrazy]

I came out of a twenty year emotionally abusive relationship that ended with him having delusional jealousy for the last three years. I left a year ago but only just (literally yesterday) realised how badly I was treated by him and how much I needed to move on.
Fast forward to today. In the pet store with my cavalier when a kindly man, similar age, stopped to admire my little dog. After a pleasant chat he told me my dog was gorgeous just like her owner. Then he asked if I was single and if we could swap numbers. I was hesitant so he offered his and I said, not to be offended if I didn't call as I just came out of a long bad relationship. I knew I wouldn't call him so then i told him that if he was happy to just meet up for a coffee and chat sometime, I would give him my number and I did. He did seem genuinely nice and after years of social isolation, I'm ready to make new friends and may be open to a relationship with the right person.
Was I silly to give him my number?

I can understand why you felt hesitant.

He may turn out to be a completely decent person. Most people are okay. It's just the bad ones that stick in our memories.

Just take it slow, don't give more of yourself than you feel comfortable with. Meet somewhere neutral, n doesn't need your home/work address just yet.

No, what's silly about it? If you don't like him, it's an underwhelming hour with a (hopefully) good cup of coffee. Even if worse comes to worse and he is a total creep who has like a whole back tattoo of Pewdiepie or something, you just block his number and move on. No harm, no foul.

Nope. It's fine. Because you can block his number if you change your mind. He knows nothing else of you yet.

Not silly at all. If he calls you make sure you meet him in a public area and do a bit of background research on him

No, not silly. Meet in a public place.
I’m old and isn’t this how people used to meet before the internet?
Enjoy your new freedom

Thanks for your thoughts everyone. He just texted me and his text seems a bit too over the top. Eg nice to meet such a stunning lady and I'd like to get to know you better. I suppose that part was OK but then he added a 😍. I thought I was quite clear about meeting for a casual coffee. Maybe I'm just over analysing his msg after being love bombed by my ex.

Go for the coffee and judge from there. Text messages can be awkward to get right, he might be as nervous as you.

That message would put me off to be fair. Too much. If it makes you uncomfortable, don’t reply and block him. You don’t have to be polite.

i think your gut is telling the truth, he seems ott.
telling you were out of a bad relationship may give him the idea that you are vulnerable, easy prey, be careful.

If they say stunning lady etc he won't want just a platonic drink. Just saying.

agree with pp.

The message wouldn’t put me off. You say you’re ready to meet new friends. He might be lovely, he might be awful - but you won’t know unless you give it a whirl.

The fact that you responded to his awful chat up line in a positive way rings massive danger alarms. I didn't read on. Get counselling and or follow the freedom programme.

I think your instincts are spot on. His message is very ott. Most men would understand that they need to take it slowly and not be this overtly keen, even if they had fallen head over heels at first sight.

Always trust your instincts.

TBH I think I'd be wary of this individual too. If you decide to not take it any further, block his number.

Be like “ dude dial it back a bit, we haven’t even gone out yet”

Another saying Freedom programme. Do it before you engage in chatting/coffee/dating another man.

Seriously, well done for leaving

Just exchange a few texts back and forth and see how it goes from there. You can get a feel for him from the texts and then decide if you still want to meet up with him. He is coming on strong with that first messages but he may just be clueless and think that’s what women like. He may be really nice, he may not. Then only way you’ll know is if you give him a chance.

The whole thing would ring alarm bells for me.
Strange man approached you, used your dog as an excuse, called you gorgeous, asked for your number and has now text saying you're stunning and using heart emojis.
He probably does this a lot, it takes some balls and probably practice to approach woman that he doesn't know and ask for her no.
I would block his number, I really wouldn't trust him,

I wouldn't meet him, that's way ott imo when he knows that you gave your number reluctantly.

You don't have to be polite to strangers asking for your number!

Way ott, he's one of these scam artists, he'll be asking for money next for some spurious reason (maybe to pay a vet bill). Don't fall for it.

Depends on whether you trust yourself to bin him off if he’s not suitable. But that is the case for anyone you meet.

Just take things slowly, it may lead to a fabulous friendship

Oops. Be careful as it sounds as if he’s going to love bomb you. I also wouldn’t be so quick about letting a man know that you’ve come out of a bad relationship, because the wrong kind of man would be very happy to manipulate a vulnerable woman. In saying that, you could meet him for coffee, but watch for over the top compliments and gushing. If it’s too much, too soon, then back away.

He's over the top. Btw it may not be a great idea to tell strangers you've just come out of an abusive relationship, that kind of info can ring bells in a potential abusers head.