Having a breakdown

[Dontletthecatout]

So I've namechanged as it's pretty outing.

I've been going loopy for so long now. I have a new DC who is almost 9 months old now and 3dcs to my ex.
I get continuous harassment from ex but anyway thats not to do with this but couldn't contribute to my feelings.

Baby is not sleeping well at all right now. She is bf and is waking pretty much every 2 hours in the night for feeds. I've tried giving her a bottle to see if that settles her longer but it doesn't work.

I'm on mat leave and oh is working so of course it is me who gets up with the baby. But omg I am drained. Some nights I feel like I'm going insane.

This week has been rather stressful with quite a few things on, mot etc so I've been uptight. Then today we were visiting the in laws. To do this though I had to get everyone packed and ready, drive to collect dss who lives 40 mins away. When I got there he told me he wasn't there and instead was another hour away from the place he should have been. So I drive there instead then it takes an hour to get home all the while my 2 older dc were fighting and shouting and really fed up of being in the car! It was hell. Then when home I had to upload all 4 of mine into the car and drive an houra round trip to drop my dc apart from the baby at my mums. Baby now going mental as bored,hungry,doesn't want to be stuck anymore.

Get to mums and say I don't want to go anymore! Mainly as I know I will just be the babysitter and he will go off having fun and it will just be awkward for me. She says go, have fun and relax. Get home and start to pack for baby and oh and determined i just want to stay home and relax and not be stressed anymore. Oh says he promises he will help with the baby, he won't disappear and leave me to it. We will both have a good time. Also he is 100% not going if I'm not (his dad is now expecting him in an hour and has prepared food!)

Say reluctantly ill go.

Now I'm here and guess whats happened? They just funked off to play pool and table tennis and I was left watching the baby. I wasn't even offered a glass of wine until half 10! Now he's pissed off ive ruined his night with my neediness, as I've come to bed to settle the baby and just want to go to sleep!

Aibu for being utterly furious???

Oh says I should go,

You are not. Remind him he got you there under false pretences. You had to go get his child from a place they hadn’t told you they were and that other people’s husbands do weekend nights. My husband works, we always agreed he’d do weekend night wakes on a Friday/Saturday. Means I don’t feel alone in this thing!

My husband works full time and still helped me when the little ones were bad in the night. Even now he'll do breakfasts for the kids in the morning to give me a little extra time in bed.

I'm sorry to say, but your partner sounds very lazy. No wonder you're struggling.

He sounds like he doesn’t help and that’s the problem. Make it clear to him if his children don’t communicate where they are you will no longer be picking them up. If he continues to act like that at family gatherings he can take his children and go alone. Don’t put up with it, maybe tell him you need a break so he has to do something of a weekend with the children so you can have some space.

Thanks everyone. That's how I feel although we're home now and he's livid with me as I ruined very few nights he has with his dad! Thrown pictures I've drawn about the place and raging.

Yanbu at all!