Dh's aunt is over to stay for the weekend. They live in London and we are in Scotland, she does come up every few months but usually for a family event and it is rare that we know beforehand. He did not know she was coming and only found out because he rang his uncle to check how his gran was (recently had a minor stroke) and she was there with her husband, two daughters and son in law. She said she was going over to mil's and that we should go over to as it would be nice to see all of us. Dh and I were not aware they were coming and dh had spoken to his brother and sil that day (they live with mil and could have mentioned but didn't). This was on Thursday. Were we being unreasonable to take this as mil not wanting us over and therefore not going? It could have been due to covid-19 as if we had come there would have been more than 8 people there but none of them even mentioned they were coming and his aunt said she phoned bil over a week ago to confirm dates. Dh could have of course phoned his mum to check if it was ok for us to come over but he felt that would have been akin to begging for an invite. They do frequently have family over and not invite us and likewise we have had friends over and not invited them however I do invite them when my parents come up to visit. We don't pop in to mil's unannounced and always drop them a phone call to check it is convenient before we come over as bil and sil live there too.
We asked them over to ours on the Friday (today) but they had plans at another family members home but said to come over to uncle's (where they are staying) on Saturday. We already had plans to meet up with my brother who I have not seen since January. He has just bought his first car and passed his junior doctor exams so we were meeting up halfway from his home to ours to celebrate. My brother had swapped a day shift for a night to be able to meet us as he has been missing the kids and they have been asking for him( only niece and nephew) . As a result dh said we couldn't meet his aunt on Saturday. As they are going back on Sunday this means that we will have missed them. I was not involved in any of the conversation dh had with his aunt and only found out after he had spoken to her. I am working on the Saturday and the plan was to grab lunch and eat it on the way to meeting my brother. I had suggested to dh that he could pop in with the kids to his uncle's whilst I am at work but he does not think they will be awake before I finish at 12.30, I also suggested we go for a while after I finish work and do a later dinner with my brother but again he thinks that will put them out as it will be too early for them. I could cancel on my brother but selfishly the kids and I have really been looking forward to seeing him and I think if his aunt had wanted to see us she would have phoned to give us a heads up?
Were we unreasonable in not turning up to mil's house and not cancelling on my brother?