To be annoyed my DD’s apprenticeship consists of her watching her employer’s baby?

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In September, DD17 started an apprenticeship in a local solicitors office. Was mainly sat at a desk type stuff, writing emails etc. It all shut down in March. They opened the office again last month and DD has been back 2 weeks. The atmosphere has been very different which is understandable but in the midst of the hustle and bustle of getting back going again, DD has been more or less forgotten about. She spends her days making cups of tea and nipping on food runs for the staff. Being asked to sharpen pencils etc. She’s bored out of her mind.

Since lockdown the boss has been bringing her 11 month old baby into work, DD said she heard her talking to one of the staff about how she doesn’t want to put her in childcare at the moment. She has been having DD help out with the baby while she works. Not just watching her while she takes a phone call (though she has done that) but asking her to do nappy changes and full on care for her while she goes off and works. DD says she feels like her nanny/personal assistant. Yesterday DD was sent to the bakery to pick up some food for the staff and had to take the baby along in her pram. She’s ended up spending literal hours of her day entertaining this baby. Then the boss’s husband comes to collect the baby from the office around 4, seemingly when he gets off work and DD ends up doing half of the handovers.

DD isn’t very happy but she doesn’t want to complain or leave as she feels as though apprenticeships are going to be few and far between in the current climate. DD doesn’t mind the baby but at the end of the day, she did sign up for an office apprenticeship, not a childcare one. And she’s a bit baffled that she’s ended up with this responsibility and I am too. She’s still getting her (typical apprenticeship wage) weekly pay but she was getting that on furlough. I’ve wondered about contacting the boss and having a quick word but I fear it’ll come across cheeky in the current environment. I’d usually keep my neb out but I feel DD is being taken advantage of.

What would you do? I can’t help but feel they should have kept DD on furlough as they clearly can’t accommodate her at the moment. Or even let her go on no pay and have her back in a few weeks when she can do something worthwhile.

Contact the Training Provider for the qualification part of the apprenticeship with your concerns, they have a duty of care.

Whilst I don't think it's appropriate what is being asked of your daughter, I also don't think you should be the one contacting the employer about this. Part of any apprenticeship (I would hope) is also learning skills that will help you transition into a professional adult workplace.

Part of that is speaking up for yourself, communicating concerns and so on. I don't think mum making a phone call on her behalf is making a particularly good impression and could actually go against her if they're funny about it. "So and so has gone home complaining to mummy" for example.

It also doesn't give your daughter the opportunity to showcase other skills she may have, or could be developing- communication, reasoning, professionalism etc. Not that looking after someone elses baby is either, mind you!

I would encourage your daughter to raise the issue herself and perhaps run through some scenarios with her, practice what to say. Ask your daughter how she would like to move forward, so that perhaps if and when the issue is brought up she can communicate what she feels would be a good way to move forward without feeling put on the spot.

Confrontation is difficult and she may be nervous about it, but it really would be a good skill for her to practice now.

Do not contact anyone - let your daughter be an adult and do this herself. Advise her, sure - but if someone’s mum rang me I’d be having words with their child that it shouldn’t happen. If they knew it had - they were go very much down in my estimation.

I think your daughter should weigh up how long this is likely to last, what other opportunities there are, and how much it will impact her qualification. If there simply is no office work and it’s keeping her in a job, but business is picking up and she’s doing enough to sign off what she needs to for the apprenticeship - I’d stick it longer than another situation.

Your daughter should schedule a time to talk about the duties of her role just as you would if there was drift in the scope of your role.

It is not unreasonable to expect some disruption due to Covid and your daughter has been very accommodating but her boss needs to sort out childcare. Her boss may not want to but it isn't appropriate to expect other staff to essentially nanny for her.

Does your daughter have a role description or list of duties she can ask to review? Maybe you could help your daughter by role playing the conversation?

This can be broached in a professional respectful way and it will be an excellent learning experience for your daughter

Who is the training provider? She needs to get hold of them and explain the issues. That should get it back on track for her.

I think we're in a very strange world.

My DS landed the apprenticeship of his dreams and started in Sept. Since college closed in March, he has done coursework at home but that was finished in May. Since then he has been "working from home" with very little to do, although theyvhave tried to give him little projects. I'm very worried that his apprenticeship training is suffering but also very grateful that (so far) they have kept him on.

It's far from ideal but it is what it is atm.

I can truly understand why you want to ring and put this right for her, I would be the same. However, you can’t. Just like I couldn’t.

I wouldn’t be happy with this at all. It’s not fair. If she doesn’t want to put her baby in childcare she should hire a nanny.

I think the best thing would be for your dd to voice her concerns herself. Is she’s anything like my dd, that will be difficult for her, but this can’t carry on.

Is it normal for parents to be involved with apprenticeships? DS is 17 too. I've never spoken to anyone at the college or at his employer, except when I had to be present at his pre start medical because he was still 15.

Hi OP. Sorry, but they are clearly exploiting your daughter. I also don't think it's appropriate for you to contact the employee. I have a son around the same age and I encourage him to have difficult conversations (it's all part of growing up). There's nothing wrong with you helping her to formulate what she needs to say.

I have managed apprentices before and would never treat them this way. Get her to check her apprenticeship agreement (signed by both the her and the employer) which confirms individual employment arrangements between both parties. It should also include a statement of the skill, trade or occupation for which she is being trained for.

I would suggest that in the first instance that she contacts her training provider. If this doesn't work she could raise a formal complaint. Also, if she needs to talk through anything, she can contact the apprenticeship helpdesk on 0800 015 0400 (closes at 10pm).

Hope it all works out for her.

I think your daughter should talk to her boss.

I'd not consider that ideal, but there are some odd circumstances at the moment. An organisation I manage as part of a volunteer group had to make a decision about hiring a summer student for this year. It looked like they would not be able to do the usual work we ask of summer students, and we might have to find some other things for them. We decided to go ahead anyway as we feel that many young people just need the work, even if it isn't great work.

Your daughter's situation sounds a little different, but it may be they are lacking the staff or time or something else to manage an apprentice properly. But if that's the case I think they should talk to your daughter about it, and come up with some sort of plan that is agreeable to her. Rather than assuming she is ok with doing childcare rather than learning.

Many years ago I worked at a training provider. A lot of time (admittedly not mine!) was spent getting organisations to understand that yes, they do have to release apprentices for the studying parts and no, doing x is not suitable. Although this is a weird time and that may be a new twist they will absolutely be used to pulling up companies.

Does dd have a meeting with the TP scheduled? If so I would suggest she brings it up then. If not then contact the TP but ask them to say it was mentioned during a check up call so it doesn't look as if she was complaining, more that it was mentioned in passing.

She needs to deal with this herself. Any attempt to get you involved or go behind the boss's back could backfire hugely.

An idea - she asks for a meeting with the boss and tells her she is worried that she is providing childcare without the appropriate training and qualifications. She's worried that she doesn't know infant first aid etc and that she's read that non family members providing childcare need to be Ofsted registered. She suggests to boss that she reaches out to her training lead to discuss (sorry not sure of the correct title).

Boss might not like it, but she will at least earn respect for speaking up directly. Unless the boss is an absolute twat of course, it depends on her character.

Whilst these are strange times and I believe apprentices probably have to suck up boring work at the moment, childcare duties are massively crossing the line and I would have thought this is a child protection issue? Imagine is something happened (baby choking etc) whilst out in the pram with your dd and her being held responsible. In one way it is nice that the boss obviously feels your dd is trustworthy and capable but if she is very uncomfortable with this then she needs to have a word.

She needs to get in touch with her assessor and let them be aware. If she has a review coming up, she should mention it then too. Be interesting to see if she’s putting the childcare down as part of her 20% OTJ!!

She is being taken advantage of due to her age, the boss knows that a 17 year old won't kick up a fuss, also the boss should be paying for childcare out of her own money not through the company, what is she actually learning on this apprenticeship?

This is definitely something your DD needs to discuss with her training provider. The on the job training provided by the employer needs to be properly structured to allow the apprentice to develop skills to go alongside their off the job learning. Unless her apprenticeship is in childcare, the employer is failing here, and the TP has a role in sorting it out.

YANBU, and she should speak to either the employer or the organisation running the programme.

It's also sexist, as I doubt they'd have asked a young man to do it.

It is down to your DD to raise this. But she could use the situation partially to her advantage, eg she could ask for first aid training. It's a transferable skill, another qualification.

Contact the Training Provider for the qualification part of the apprenticeship with your concerns, they have a duty of care.

I agree, they can do the difficult conversation if your dd finds it too hard, although asking her to have the conversation may work if she’s confident enough. If she’s not, get the TP on board. I think her boss is treating her absolutely disgracefully.

Looking after the baby is not appropriate; getting team lunches, making drinks and other mind numbingly boring stuff is a part and parcel of work.

When I worked for a city lawyer (many years ago, granted), she made me manually change all the numbers in her personal mobile phone when all London numbers changed, and go to the lost property office for London Underground to search through CRATES of black umbrellas to find the completely nondescript black umbrella she left on the tube...in another job (HR consultancy!), my manager stuffed up a print job and rather than paying to have it re-done, made me go to the printer and sit there for days with a staple unpicker, removing the incorrect pages and manually inserting and stapling the corrected ones (the printer was flabbergasted and actually felt so bad for me that he took me out for an expensive lunch!)...in yet another job, the existing EA stood over my shoulder while I made the boss a cup of tea, to make sure I put the teaspoon on the correct side of the cup! In short, work is often far from ideal and, until you have alternative employment, you usually need to just suck it up and get on with it.

However, I do think your daughter should politely suggest alternative childcare arrangements for her boss's baby.

Sorry I’m Ireland so maybe it’s different here but if your daughter wants to become a solicitor she has many years of university ahead of her with plenty of time for apprenticeships. I did an apprenticeship with a solicitors when I was 16 and it never even made it onto my cv. Can she say to her boss that she is leaving for personal reasons so she has left on good terms should she need a reference and then just quit. I don’t know if there is value in antagonising a woman who is clearly struggling due to COVID circumstances and likely to be stressed and overreact to any discussion your daughter may have with her and I don’t think any employer in the future would have an issue with your daughter saying she started an apprenticeship before COVID and afterwards there was no work for her to do. Which does seem to be the case.

Apologies if she has to do this apprenticeship for school.. if so I’d contact the school before the employer.

If my daughter was being exploited I’d step in for her.

She's totally being taken advantage of and her boss knows this! She knew your daughter can either......
carry on doing it and it makes her life a lot easier,

Say she doesn't want to carry on providing childcare in which case she won't be happy her cushy free childcare is over and can probably cause problems for her in the role.

Contact her training provider who will speak to her boss and same as my second point she'll probably make her life hell at work.

You've got to question a parent who "doesn't want to put her baby in childcare at the moment" but is quite happy for a young girl with no childcare training or desire to look after children to be her personal nanny! Does she really not want to send her to nursery or does she just prefer the free childcare?! I'm angry on behalf of your daughter that she's been out in this impossible situation.

She needs to deal with this herself, with your support and advice.

If mothers always step in for their daughters and sort things out for them, the daughters will never learn to navigate the real world for themselves. Helping her to do that is one of the best things you can do for her.