Smell from my neighbour's flat

[smellyneighbour]

NC for this.

Short version: every time my neighbour opens her doors or windows it stinks. It’s so bad I can’t use my patio or keep my windows open.

Full rant: I have this thing about opening my windows every morning - even in winter. Fresh air is critical to my mental health and wellbeing. I’ve always done this. Indeed, I wouldn’t chose to live a house where I couldn’t open the windows and I checked all of them in this flat before we bought it in October.

In addition to windows that open , we are also lucky enough to have a small patio / garden area off the living room which my small kids use daily. This backs onto my neighbour’s patio. During lockdown we noticed that her large dog poos in her patio and she doesn’t clean it up. Gross. We started staying away from the boundary between our patio and hers because it smells of dog poo, but it wasn’t too bad. I bought planters for the border and convinced myself I could live with this situation.

Fast forward to lockdown. Neighbour starts opening her doors and windows. It STINKS. A mixture of dog, stale tobacco and incense. It gets into everything. If our windows are open the smell takes over our whole flat. I can’t go into the garden when her door is open because the smell makes me wretch. Now lockdown is loosening, I’d love to have friends and family over on the patio (you can get to it without going through the flat) but I can’t because if she opens her door (which she now does a lot!) the smell will be overwhelming.

She’s nice. We say hello etc. But I don’t know her to understand if she has mental health issues or is just totally oblivious to the gross smell coming from her home. My husband agrees it’s totally gross and he’d tell me if I was being a drama queen.

Would AIBU to say something? And if so what should I say?

That is awkward.

Maybe you could talk to the landlord, though how to do it without the neighbour realising you were the one who reported it?

TBH, I'd think about moving, but I am very non-confrontational.

@goosefoot we own so no landlord to help I'm afraid.

I have actually thought about moving.
But we just bought end of last year - presumably we'd be making a loss and / or having to pay all the costs of moving again. I'm definitely up for a delicate conversation with her to save £££!!

Outdoor candles might be your best bet at the moment, a few citronella candles along the boundary? A chat to environmental health might help as it can be seen as a health and safety risk. Or just a blunt ‘it stinks out here’ every time she opens the door or window until she takes the hint.

I’d call environmental health and get advice - it sounds hideous.

My house was like that owing to previous owners. Whilst On the market they obviously tidied up and stopped smoking in there. Between September and us moving in the December they reverted to form - I cried the day we moved in.

Took weeks to get it reasonable.

She won't be able to smell it so even if you did raise it, she wouldn't know when it wouldn't be smelly IYKWIM.
Her opening the doors might help in the long run I guess? Sorry I don't have any suggestions...some people just smell!

Move.

Maybe rebt it out and rent somewhere else yourself?

if moving was so easy and the answer to every other dilemma on mn.
she's gone nose blind and you need to have a chat with her then ease it into the conversation. no need to be p.a in trying to drop rude 'hints'

Complain about lack of hygiene and smell to the neighbour. Explain it is completely unbearable.

Ask the estate agent who handled the sale why this problem was concealed when you bought.
Ask your solicitor to find out if this was a ''hidden defect'' (in France called ''vice cache'') of the property if that woman was living there before you bought and if you can claim compensation from the seller for the concealment. You will lose on the sale yourself as no one will want to buy it. It is a serious matter. Also complain to your Council - have the property inspected. It seems ''unfit'' for habitation.

Because its often not that hard to move of the problem is big enough.

I’m not sure you can have a conversation with your neighbour about smells created from inside their house - unless it was drugs. But the poo outside is disgusting. An environmental health issue and potential animal neglect. If I was going to talk to them I’d mention that first. Just be honest and tell them it honks and ask them to dispose of it. Do they struggle to walk their dog?Easier said than done I appreciate.

I have the same problem, but not to the degree you describe.
My neighbor leaves her door propped open in the day and when you go past the door, it smells like how I would imagine pepper would smell if it went rotten.
Boak.
But it doesn't impact my living space so I'm not too concerned by it.

So it's not the same problem as the OP's is it?

Incense, tobacco and dog smells are reportable issues I'm afraid. Dog poo yes, not general wet dog type smell. I hate the neighbours smoking in the garden but it's legal so can't do anything

Phone environmental health.

Or phone the police and tell them you think someone’s died in the property so they turn up and she might be humiliated into changing her filthy ways.

Disclaimer: I am joking on the second point. Kind of 🤣

I'd very lightly say something like Hi, wonder if you could come around and help me identify where this awful smell is coming from? or something like that. Make sure she has her windows or doors open when you do!

You desire to open your doors/windows and so does this neighbour- so on that alone you are equal.

I once had a job which required going to people's front doors (not selling!) and on occasions I was quite overcome, and could not breathe in the smell. Thank goodness I did not have to go in!

To be realistic, and probably unwelcome, there is nothing you can do.
Complaints, especially at this time, will get you nowhere.

You might have to seriously consider moving.

I had to once due to neighbour noise and it was worth it.

I do wish you well in your decisions.

Are there neighbours on the other side of her that you can talk to? Tbh it sounds like she’s already gone past the point of caring. It may take a couple of you complaining for any action to be taken. If I were you I would phone the environmental health as the dog poo and smell is unhygienic and it is affecting you and your house. Also the rspca as they dog has an unclean living environment outside, and possibly inside aswell. You can just say you’re concerned and they’ll go round and check. Depending on how heavy handed you want to be, you could give adult ss a ring. It does sound like she needs help if she’s living like that

It may be worth contacting social services on the basis that this suggests she's not looking after herself and is living in unhealthy conditions.

@Molly500

So it's not the same problem as the OP's is it?

I think this sounds serious enough that social care and maybe environment health should be involved tbh. I don’t think it’s quite fair when nothing has been attempted yet to just move or let to someone else. This woman needs help, it’s not your responsibility to be that help but I think it is your responsibility to report it.

You can just ask about the dog mess, just say 'please can you clear it because it smells really strong from my garden'. On two occasions we had to ask that - different neighbours - both times it was fine.

I will add on both occasions it was neighbours in smart-looking houses, you never can tell what lurks in back gardens.

If your neighbour is in a flat is there a management company or separate freeholder?

As you can complain to them about the dog poo as it is a health hazard. There is also probably a genetic clause in her lease about not causing a nuisance to neighbours and the strench of dog poo would come under this. Frame it as a health hazard and concern for everyone's health.

I would also try to escalate to both adult SS and environmental health at the same time as contacting the freeholder as PPs suggested.

Thank you everyone! I haven't considered adult SS. To be honest, she seems really normal. We lived here for months saying hello etc.

Not that it's relevant, but she doesn't look or come across like there are any obvious issues to the point she would be an adult SS case. I never would have guessed at the smell behind the front door... Poo aside, she also seems like a good dog owner. Walks him three times a day - always filling up his water bowl on a hot day etc.

I'm going to have to say something aren't I?

What about feinting some sensitivity to incense? Hi neighbour, I know this is my issue and I can't tell you what to do but I really hate the smell of incense and I notice you burn it a lot. Maybe you could do it less or with the windows closed? Then maybe she'll have to tackle the underlying smell..

Plan B - become besties and when she's away pay for a full flat clean top to bottom for a special treat!

Thank you everyone! I haven't considered adult SS. To be honest, she seems really normal. We lived here for months saying hello etc.

Not that it's relevant, but she doesn't look or come across like there are any obvious issues to the point she would be an adult SS case. I never would have guessed at the smell behind the front door... Poo aside, she also seems like a good dog owner. Walks him three times a day - always filling up his water bowl on a hot day etc.

I'm going to have to say something aren't I?

What about feinting some sensitivity to incense? Hi neighbour, I know this is my issue and I can't tell you what to do but I really hate the smell of incense and I notice you burn it a lot. Maybe you could do it less or with the windows closed? Then maybe she'll have to tackle the underlying smell..

Plan B - become besties and when she's away pay for a full flat clean top to bottom for a special treat!

Will definitely speak to other neighbours too. The patios are grouped so her other side neighbour is further away but there are others close enough to notice. Maybe we can hatch a plan!