to ponder this and wonder if anyone knows how i can find out about historical child benefit

[HorrryTheHedgehog]

i've recently finally cut off contact with my parents (extremely toxic and damaging relationship, didn't want to expose my DC to similar abuse). Took me years to figure out i have the option of walking away.

but we've recently registered birth and dealt with getting child benefit sorted. and it's only just occurred to me that my parents may have been claiming for me living there while i'd moved out at age 15 and a half until child benefit was no longer given (couldn't take the abuse any more, went to live with a family friend who offered sanctuary, they supported me financially and emotionally through enough education to get me into uni and beyond).

but is there any way of finding out if my parents were claiming child benefit from me (fraudulently!) between when i was 15.5yr and up to 19yr old before i went to uni?

(i've suffered financial abuse by them and i know my family's friend who i lived with didn't/wouldn't have claimed for me)

would you dig this up if you were me, or should i let the past be the past?

Leave the past in the past.

What will you do with the knowledge?
Just leave it if I were you.

If you've cut contact with your parents, let this go; don't give them the headspace.

Honestly, I think you should leave it. The likelihood is they may well have claimed it, and that is wrong and frustrating, but the chance of putting it right and reaching some kind of closure on it is very slim.

You know they were toxic and abusive, you don't need more evidence of their wrongdoing to know that they're in the wrong.

I’m not sure how you could. I’m not aware of child benefit claims being a matter of public record that you can access although I may well be wrong. But I would leave it. You’ve made a huge step going NC and have your own family to worry about now. Say you found out that they had claimed fraudulently-what then? I imagine they’re highly unlikely to be prosecuted or pursued for the money now. They might find out that you dug this up and you could find yourself receiving unwelcome contact from them.

I really think you should just leave it. It sounds like you could do with some counselling or something as honestly I think you must be obsessing a bit over them (understandably) in order to have thought of this and be pondering about it to this degree.

I would just let this go and not give it any more time thinking about it.

By the sounds of it they more than likely did still claim for you, I don't see what you can do now.
Focus on the future and having them out of your life.

As much as you’re irked by this, what good will come of knowing they did?

If you were in FT education, they could claim it, it’s hardly a huge amount of money and consider it the price of peace

Living well is the best revenge!

How long ago was it?
If it was recent (say within last 6 mths) you could do a fraud referral. Search gov.uk

www.gov.uk/report-benefit-fraud

Oh you drama lama. Move on.

They probably did and so what would you do with the knowledge if you had it? Report them so they end up in court paying it back at £10 pw. How would that help you?

Nothing you can do will change the fact they were shit parents. Focus on yourself. What will help you move forward in your life to the future you want.