Tips of getting over a broken heart

[Eliza292]

I'm looking for tips on getting over a broken heart. After weeks of crying, feeling very sorry for myself, Facebook stalking, acting like an utter weirdo and losing weight I have decided to fucking sort it out. I want to be happy again. So far I have:

Decided to not let myself think of that person, every time I do, I divert my mind somewhere else
Blocked on social media, along with anyone connected to them
Written a list of things I want to achieve that have nothing to do with this person (and another list of how I'm going to achieve them)

Any other tips greatly appreciated. I can't carry on like this, it isn't fair on myself or my children.

Title should say tips on*

I know that finding things to do is one of those things that everyone recommends, but for me, I got really REALLY into walking. I walked for hours in the countryside just soaking up being outdoors, focused on nothing else but my surroundings and it was so peaceful, it was the first time I felt my tension headache leave after weeks and weeks of doing nothing but thinking about him. Would highly recommend just grabbing some walking boots and heading outdoors. Feel better soon, you got this 🙌

Time, just time. You'll get there. Good luck

Thank you. Really like the walking idea!

The Paul McKenna book, I Can Mend Your Broken Heart. Worked in 1 day for me.

Exercise releases endorphins so walking is excellent. Put energy into getting the things on your list done. Unfortunately it is time and distance that does it.

@MawnyStannit

The Paul McKenna book, I Can Mend Your Broken Heart. Worked in 1 day for me.

Thank you, I read his book, I Can Make You Thin a few years ago and lost 2st so I will get looking for that online.

Time, distance and distraction. You're doing well already, acknowledging that you need to move on. Distraction could be: walking, zumba, swimming, pottery class, yoga, dancing class, studying online/ college class, reading loads of books/ bookclub,crafting, decorating, gardening, singing (virtual choirs too) or simple things like board game/ music/ spa night every week with friends/ kids. Just find a few things which are your things and you may even make a few, new friends along the way.

One thing I found worked really well was to remind myself that my ex had ruined enough of my life, and didn't deserve a day more. Every day spent being bitter and crying was another day given over to him.

I also did things I knew he didn't like but that I did. He hated trying anything new, so every weekend I'd do something I hadn't done before. It didn't really matter what - it could be taking my horse on a new ride I hadn't done before. The only rule was it had to be positive and good, otherwise again I was letting him win. And I kept reminding myself that there were reasons we had split up and I really was better off without him.

Something I did when my ex broke up with me (cheating bastard ) was to arrange with a close friend that I’d text her every time I got the urge to contact my ex. Usually something inane and uninteresting but it helped me “complete” that urge without getting stressed about whether to contact him or not. I found the acknowledgement of that need & support from her really helpful - and usually meant I was distracted by something she’d said too!

Over time the number of texts to her decreased and I felt the need for it less and less :)

I found keeping my mind busy was important, so that it couldn't wander into thoughts of him. Read books, do puzzles, play brain-training games, listen to podcasts while doing the housework - whatever floats your boat and keeps your thoughts on other things.

All the best, OP. You've already made a good start.

It's over 30 years since I had my heart broken, but I found that getting pissed at every opportunity and shagging anything that moved worked well.

Thanks again ❤

Exercise really helped. I was also half way through a degree at the

Time. It became a point of principle that he was not going to ruin that too. I also started to write in a diary, really think about how he had behaved. I re read it 6 months later. It made me realise how absolutely vile he is. Take care of yourself. It will get bet

...will get better. Sorry my phone is going mad this evening x

When you remember the relationship, and try to do so as little as possible, analyse its demise rationally rather than emotionally. The brain has to take over from the heart and often you will see why it did not work and would not do so if you got back together.

Echo the keeping busy....

I've also found it helps to treat myself. For example, buying some new bedding, cushions etc. I found that sitting around and looking at the same bedding we'd sleep in together (or worse the bedding I cried into the nights after we broke up) made me feel like part of him was still around, whereas buying some new things was a symbol of starting afresh for me.

I found talking also helped. Talking to friends and family about why we broke up and the relationship. Would help me keep balance and remind myself of why it would never work/the bad times, instead of just focussing on the bad times and grieving.

I kept a diary. Just spewed my emotions out onto the page, wept and kept writing.
I still have it and it makes me cry when I read it, my self esteem had taken a battering and I was very low.

Awww OP a broken heart is horrible. Been there and the pain can be overwhelming. Echo the other posters who said time ❤️ It really is a healer. Try to keep yourself as busy as possible, it won’t last forever I promise.

Hi OP. If you search my posts you can see the rollercoaster of feelings I've had over similar the past few months. The only advice I can offer is be kind to yourself and allow yourself time and space to heal. And accept (and actively seek out) the support of others. I'm still broken but slowly, of so very slowly, starting to put myself back together again. Much love to you. I know how it feels.