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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To lie about his age for free admission?

592 replies

WaitForCake · 16/07/2020 10:29

It's DS's 3rd birthday in a couple of weeks. I'm taking him to an attraction.

It's free for under 3s, but adult price at 3 upwards. Money is tight, but after a tough few months between lockdown and his DF moving out after our split, I want to do something nice for him.
As there is no inherent difference in what he'll get from the experience the day before his birthday and on the day of his birthday, WIBU to just buy him a 2 year old ticket?

I can't take him the day earlier due to work (I did consider this already).

YANBU - get the 2 year old ticket
YABU - pay the adult price for him

OP posts:
Pinkyyy · 16/07/2020 17:13

@JaniceWebster

I really want to meet one of these Mumsnet parents in real life. It's hilarious

who? People who don't lie, fraud or cheat as a matter of principle because they can get away with it?

As opposed to the the ones who believe they are entitled to everything for free, but will be the first one to scream if a client/landlord/employer/ shop owner does the same to them...

That thread IS hilarious, and explain why prices are higher because companies DO give a shit and DO know their customers behaviour..

Oh give it a rest. It's one fucking day. He would be free the day before.
AlternativePerspective · 16/07/2020 17:14

Good god. This thread is up there with that barking mad dogs vs kids thread the other week.

Theft? Fraud? Seriously? And yet if the OP knew someone who was committing benefit fraud she would be being told “stay out of it, you don’t know the circumstances.”

To accuse someone of fraud because they claim a child is two on their actual 3rd birthday is far different to someone who e.g. lies about a five year old’s age.

As for people taking food into the cinema, perhaps if cinemas didn’t want people to do this (and let’s be honest here most people either do or don’t bother buying food there at all,) they shouldn’t overprice their products so much. There’s a sainsburys opposite our cinema and they have popcorn and chocolate and crisps all in one section for people to just go and pick what they want. A fiver for a bucket of popcorn which probably cost about 30p to make is robbery in itself, so I would have absolutely 0 conscience in taking in my own.

AryaStarkWolf · 16/07/2020 17:17

As for people taking food into the cinema, perhaps if cinemas didn’t want people to do this (and let’s be honest here most people either do or don’t bother buying food there at all,) they shouldn’t overprice their products so much.

I don't even smuggle stuff in most of the time, I'm literally just carrying it in, in plan view, no cinema staff have ever said a word to me about it

Millie2013 · 16/07/2020 17:18

DD was tiny for her age, but was forever bawling “I’M THREEEEEE!!!” so we’d never have got away with it, that said, I carried her into an English heritage property last year, when she was 6, no idea why 🧐 and it was only later that I realised they’d charged me for an under 5

Iamthewombat · 16/07/2020 17:24

Erm, loads of things on that list are fraud.

I didn’t ask which items on the list were fraud. I asked which, if they were perpetrated, would lead to a direct financial loss by a third party and how. Because that’s what we’re talking about here: the OP causing a financial loss to a third party, the operator of the theme park.

northernsquirrel · 16/07/2020 17:29

YANBU...just make sure he isn't wearing a badge!

Floralnomad · 16/07/2020 17:33

I’m not normally in favour of people lying about ages to get in but it’s utterly ridiculous that you have to pay the same for a 3 yo as a teenager and whoever decided that pricing structure needs their bumps feeling .

Ariela · 16/07/2020 17:34

So if OP had identical twins, and one was born at one minute to midnight on one day and the other 5 minutes past, would the OP be expected to pay for one or both as adults? Given they're twins and identical.

SimonJT · 16/07/2020 17:39

@Ariela

So if OP had identical twins, and one was born at one minute to midnight on one day and the other 5 minutes past, would the OP be expected to pay for one or both as adults? Given they're twins and identical.
They would pay/not pay based on their date of birth.
WaitForCake · 16/07/2020 17:43

They would pay/not pay based on their date of birth.

I think the staff would think you were insane if you were insisting you needed to pay for one and not the other.

OP posts:
Iamthewombat · 16/07/2020 17:46

Ah. I see. It's only when money is involved that it becomes wrong?

Who said that? We’re talking about a potential fraudulent act, and you’ve come up with a list of transgressions that you consider to be comparable. I’m asking why they are comparable, since lying to get into the theme park deprives somebody else of revenue and it’s not clear how the others would.

So, to use one of your examples above, anyone who kindly tells their friend that they look nice at an event when they really don’t, is as bad a somebody who commits fraud or steals?

Aside from the fact that you didn't use one of my examples, you made up a new one...

No, I didn’t. The first item on your list was ‘smoothing over a conversation to avoid awkwardness’. I’m interested in why you think doing so is as bad as stealing from a third party.

No. I think life is complex and these things are often somewhere on a scale. As in, I don't think getting a ticket in this example anywhere near bad enough to warrant the shit dealt to the OP on this thread.

Do you agree that it’s wrong, then? I don’t recall anybody saying that the OP would have committed a serious crime, but she asked for approval for doing something that is wrong, and came up with a parade of silly excuses. The latter is what she got the shit for. As a PP noted, if she just came out and said, “I know it’s wrong, but I’m doing it anyway”, she wouldn’t have had half of the criticism. It’s her attempts to justify it that are embarrassing.

And yes. I get consider it wrong to give an OP such a harsh judgement for an act, all the time knowing you (the general you, not you specifically) also do things that would attract similar judgement from others. But that you keep quiet about.

The debate on this thread has centred on the OP’s justification for the act, not the act itself. She asked whether she would be wrong to lie about her son’s age to get into Chessington free.

She got her answers: “yes, I would!”, or “no, it’s dishonest”. She tried to argue against the latter point of view by trotting out a parade of excuses, using self-serving arguments she hadn’t thought through. That’s what was judged.

Are you of the opinion that nobody should ever judge anybody else? If you were called up for jury service, would you try to get out of it by confessing that you once embellished your CV or pretended that you’d made more progress on a work project than you really had? Would you bar somebody from serving as a judge because they slowed down before a speed camera but “kept quiet about it”?

PlatoAteMySnozcumber · 16/07/2020 17:52

I didn’t ask which items on the list were fraud. I asked which, if they were perpetrated, would lead to a direct financial loss by a third party and how. Because that’s what we’re talking about here: the OP causing a financial loss to a third party, the operator of the theme park.

Loss is a fundamental element of fraud, no loss to the third party, no fraud. Three of the things on that list are widely accepted as fraud. There IS a loss.

WilliamTheToad · 16/07/2020 17:57

I never said the items were comparable.

Lying out of kindness is not the same example as lying to avoid awkwardness.

Lots of my example deprived someone else of money.

People accused the OP of theft and fraud. Both of which are serious crimes.

The point of a judge and jury is NOT to pass moral judgement. That is the antithesis of their purpose which is to compare the facts to the law.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 16/07/2020 18:52

You know that’s the right thing to do.

I think you’ve been watching too many shit American movies on a Saturday afternoon. Grin

PablosHoney · 16/07/2020 19:02

20 pages! 😂 judge and jury 🤨 Theft and Fraud 😱🤪. Some of ya’ll are nuts.

Iamthewombat · 16/07/2020 19:03

The point of a judge and jury is NOT to pass moral judgement. That is the antithesis of their purpose which is to compare the facts to the law.

You love dodging questions, don’t you? I know what judges and juries are for. I asked you whether you believed that nobody could judge the OP’s, or anybody else’s, behaviour unless they themselves had never committed any of the transgressions on your list. Which included ‘smoothing over a conversation to avoid awkwardness’.

And, if the OP lied to get her son into Chessington for free, and Chessington called the police, I suspect that they would consider that a law had been broken.

Iamthewombat · 16/07/2020 19:04

Three of the things on that list are widely accepted as fraud. There IS a loss.

Tell us which, and how they would lead to a loss.

PablosHoney · 16/07/2020 19:05

If Chessington called the police 🤣🤣🤣 classic.

PablosHoney · 16/07/2020 19:07

@Iamthewombat, look how much you’ve typed about this!

WaitForCake · 16/07/2020 19:09

I’m actually howling at Chessington calling the police because they suspect I lied about his age by one day.

What do you think the punishment will be?

OP posts:
Iamthewombat · 16/07/2020 19:12

Did you notice the word ‘if’? It was in response to another poster talking about laws being broken.

It’s a sign that your argument is weak when you wilfully misinterpret things. Are you still smarting from having basic business principles explained to you?

PablosHoney · 16/07/2020 19:13

Too funny, they’ll chuck your toddler in jail too as he is aiding and abetting your lie.

PablosHoney · 16/07/2020 19:14

Oh give over @iamwombat 😂😂

WaitForCake · 16/07/2020 19:16

Of course not. I will concede my limited business knowledge to you. It is completely irrelevant to the discussion (it’s a moral discussion, not a lecture on business models), but you know best. Wink

I just found the idea of a theme park calling the police over a technically not even 3 year old hilarious.

OP posts:
PablosHoney · 16/07/2020 19:17

Because it is hilarious 😆