How to cope with dh after surgery

[Busymum45]

My dh us having an operation very soon ( thankfully after Covid delays) and will be recovering for 4 months possiblity 6 unable to walk much or drive or work. Already he's bored and fed up.as due to the injury is in pain. I've secretly bought jigsaws and some models for him.to make but quite honestly worried sick. He is also on anti D's after a lifetime battle , been on them 7 months.
I worry day in day out about him. The kids (teenage) and I can go out but feel bad leaving him behind. He suggested DD an I go.to a spa overnight so.we booked it as can't go away anyway as a family this year covid or not.

Worrying myself sick but what more can i.do. Think id better stock up on wine, going to need it.....

I can only wish you luck. I may be in the same boat soon and the thought of it fills me with horror

Thanks, from a perspective of someone having surgery what would you want in terms of support?

How does he feel about gaming?

When I had surgery a couple of years ago the PS3 and my laptop along with a few good books kept me sane. Obviously it's personal preference though. Since becoming a mum I'd given up on gaming for the most part so initially, once it wasn't too painful to be sat up, it was great!

Not really a gamer , doesn't read but does puzzles..might look for a ps game anyway, something he may like thanks

Why can't you ask him what he wants in terms of support?
Why is he unable to express his needs?
Does he get angry with you?
Can you speak to a counsellor yourself?
If you caN leave him on his own safely for few hours then do so. What are you worried about exactly? Will the operation ultimately help him ? Can he speak to his gp about pain relief?

What about an online course, there’s lots on Futurelearn that are free. Forensic Science, creative writing, loads of stuff.

Learn a language on Duolingo?

Has he got a library card? He can download books free.

No doesn't get angry at all, can't read as severely dyslexic. I am just worrying about how he will cope , and me !

You can get logic puzzle games things like Professor Leyton or Memory games. Something like that might be good.

I was in so much pain post surgery that I couldn’t do anything apart from watch tv and eat strong pain killers and sip iced cordial for at long time. I didn’t read, play puzzles or do anything constructive due to the pain, medication and low level anxiety. Will you be able to get him out and about in a wheelchair? Or if he’s coming home post surgery I would concentrate on a good bed set up near a big opening window, access to a tv, easy bathroom access etc. Games and those types of activities can come later down the line.

Also stock up on gel ice packs, soft pillows, anything to ease the pain and discomfort of being immobile during the summer.

Lots of options for hiring all sorts of wheelchairs from private rental companies for getting out and about. Your DD might enjoy wheeling him about!