To think social skills are about timing

[PotteryLottery]

Does anyone else find it hard to know when to chip in?

I typed in a Zoom chat as I didn't know when to speak, but i find it a problem IRL too.

Timing and being able to read the room. I can't do either until I know people very well.

I find this incredibly hard, worse so when I can't see someone's face. Zoom/ Teams etc. are tricky, I use the hand-up function when I can.

I think it’s because it harder to judge usual social cues over video calls. I wouldn’t worry, I think most people experience this.

I agree but this can be somewhat ameliorated by a good agenda or a chair.

I think it's about reading people more than timing. I have fantastic social skills, always have, and can read people like books, but didn't have a single friend from 21-27 because I was socially anxious about people being able to read me in turn.

Everybody utterly sucks on Zoom. Everyone. We are just posh primates and no self-respecting primate removes 50% of communication and expects it to work. So don't worry about that.

Lots of people have specific deficits in communication. I'm very good at reading the room but take up much too much space, time and I interrupt. I have a colleague who is the opposite. Can' chip in, always too late with her comment, politely waits but then the conversation has moved on...

Everyone has something to work on, no one is perfect in all situations and you just work with what you have. Just like you did, typing in chat.

One of my teenagers has always had good social skills (the school agreed) and one finds it harder (although she's a lovely person). The one with good social skills has always known just the right things to say in a situation. I noticed this from about 5. The other dd has got better now but used to say the wrong thing as she misjudged what was ok to say. It wasn't her fault she just didn't have the skill.

I also struggle. I'm freelance and work from home. I'm so sick of clients wanting to Zoom. I prefer the phone because I don't get confused by their faces then.

As you might guess, there's a reason I work for myself and from home. I'm not overly blessed in the social skills department!

One meeting has a great Chair and I'm still rubbish at contributing.

Zoom has been useful during lockdown, but its awful in many ways.Having all mics muted bar the speaker is vital,and then the rule is raising your hand and being called to speak by the facilitator. I find them exhausting.