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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What is reasonable in this COVID related situation?

17 replies

CovidQuandry · 15/07/2020 08:36

My au pair came home after a holiday with 3 friends, and presented with COVID symptoms. He has tested and we are waiting for results (if takes 2 full days...who knew?). I’m not sure what to do, and what is reasonable.

On one hand, he’s a young man (24) who is in a foreign country away from home, and he’s part of our family, so I’m looking after him of course while he self isolates. On the other hand, I’m anxious that he continues to self isolate for 14 days even if it’s a negative result, and I’d even want a re-test after 7 days or so, in case it was a false negative.

He’s not the brightest bulb in the chandelier, and was not taking this very seriously until the symptoms appeared. My fear is that a negative result might make him think it’s all fine and he can go back to “normal”. I’m annoyed and frustrated with his general attitude about COVID, which has been a bit cavalier in my opinion (I’m super careful, whereas he doesn’t properly wear masks, hangs out with a small number of close friends in his personal time...same ones he went on vacation with, etc...). I’m trying to see things from his perspective, and there aren’t better childcare options available to me at the moment.

There’s a complicating factor...I have 2 young children and am a single mother, so really need the extra help at home to be able to work from home. I’m taking a couple of days off work, and don’t have anyone near me who can help, especially as there’s potential virus exposure.

Is it reasonable to require the 14-day quarantine? I’ll be self-quarantining and having the kids only play in our garden...just ordered food online for example. Is it reasonable for me to take 2 weeks off work for this? They have so far been supportive, but I don’t want to push my luck.

OP posts:
welshweasel · 15/07/2020 08:38

If the test is negative then life goes on as normal. That’s the government advice and you can’t impose anything different on your au pair. What you choose to do is up to you but you wouldn’t be entitled to paid leave.

Fedup21 · 15/07/2020 08:38

If it was a school situation, we’d expect them back in after a negative test if they were well.

Mrbigb · 15/07/2020 08:39

If it’s negative then it’s negative - and life goes on.

Awrite · 15/07/2020 08:42

The rest of us will be trusting our childcare providers/school staff to work after a negative test result.

Hardbackwriter · 15/07/2020 08:45

There's no point having the test if you're going to insist on you all acting like it was positive regardless of the result?

CovidQuandry · 15/07/2020 08:48

Thank you, good to hear your impartial opinions and so far it’s unanimous! I can feel my anxiety kicking in...the potential of a deadly virus is very emotional vs needing to be sensible and level headed.

OP posts:
miniHovis · 15/07/2020 08:48

if the test is negative. he and you can go back to work, it tells you so on the email. My results also took 3 days not 2.
what was the point of the test if your still going hide away?

RubaiyatOfAnyone · 15/07/2020 08:50

As far as I know, there are no question marks over the actual coved test?

Unlike the antibody test which tests to see if you’ve already had the virus, which is known to be subject both to difficulty getting a correct sample if self testing, and to false negatives because the antibodies are not long-lived enough to necessarily show up after a few months.

The live-virus test has not been reported as inaccurate as far as I know, so if he tests negative then it is negative. You can all then carry on as normal.

RubaiyatOfAnyone · 15/07/2020 08:51

*covid. I am literate really.

Hardbackwriter · 15/07/2020 08:56

I think there are issues around getting the right sample if self-testing and a false negative is possible for the Covid test too, @RubaiyatOfAnyone. So I do have some sympathy with why OP doesn't 'trust' a negative result, but the guidance is that you do return to normal after a negative result and I don't think it's reasonable for her to impose something other than official guidance as the employer.

CovidQuandry · 15/07/2020 08:59

@Hardbackwriter that’s exactly the quandary. Now I need to figure out a plan for if hisbtest is positive... gulp

OP posts:
Porcupineinwaiting · 15/07/2020 09:01

The live virus test, if self administered, is somewhat unreliable as it can be hard to swab yourself properly.

How definitive are his symptoms? If they are classic COVID- loss of smell and taste, continuous cough (not just a bit of a cough) then I'd keep the quarantine personally.

AIMD · 15/07/2020 09:04

Surely if his test is positive then you all self isolate together? I’m assuming he lives with you?

CovidQuandry · 15/07/2020 09:05

Stomach upset, sore throat, loss of taste. So far...am asking for updates and provided medicine and a thermometer but he hasn’t taken his temperature yet. I will add that he is quite dramatic, and some of these symptoms might be psychosomatic.

OP posts:
lifesalongsong · 15/07/2020 09:07

Are you in England? I thought results came back the next day, asking in case the rules are different where you are.

It's tricky one, what exactly are the symptoms and how long was he away for and where did he go? If you are in England and he went abroad I'm guessing he wasn't there long as the quarantine requirement hasn't been dropped for long. So if he is positive he could have caught it before he went. Are the rest of the household symptom free?

CovidQuandry · 15/07/2020 09:07

Yes if positive I think we need to all self isolate for 14 days. I’ll continue to look after kids and he’ll continue to not work.

OP posts:
CovidQuandry · 16/07/2020 22:15

The test came back negative (phew)!

OP posts:
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