To be upset by this

[dododotheconga]

I have worked really hard at work for a long time in pursuit of a promotion to a senior management role. This has included the completion of a masters degree and a plethora of other courses. I've had several interviews where I've nearly got the job but not quite.

Yesterday, finally, I got an internal promotion to a senior role. All great. Tonight I overheard DH on the phone describing this promotion as a "little promotion". I know it's not a big deal and I get that there's a whole heap of crap going on in the world right now but I feel really hurt by it. My bubble has been burst a bit. After such hard work I expected to hear a bit of pride from him. Am I being ridiculous?

I can see why you are hurt. I would talk to him and say you heard and were upset.

No, I would be too. Tell him, but if he’d say that when you’ve worked so hard I’m not sure I’d expect a supportive response.

Who was he talking to? Maybe he didnt want to seem boastful?

Congratulations by the way.

Yes huge congratulations! I forgot to say 🙈 also a good point about not being boastful. Some people find they have to play down their own achievements so as not to seam big headed, maybe he was doing that about your promotion.

No you’re not being ridiculous!
Congratulations

He was talking to his brother. General chit chat. Maybe you're right about not bragging. I've told him it upset me and he's apologised and said he didn't mean it was a little thing despite saying it was a little thing
I'm pleased anyway and thanks for the congratulations. It's been a long time coming and a lot of sweat and stress to get there!

I’d probably go in a huff with my DH for calling it little promotion- just saying!

No you are not being ridiculous.
Congratulations by the way.

Question is, why are you letting him tear you down? On the telephone. To mates.
Is he jealous?

Whatever you do, be proud of yourself!! and fuck him off

NEVER let a man undestimate yourself. He's not in your club, frankly.

Congratulations! Who was he talking to and could it to be due to current economic climate? DH’s good friends and work colleague has just been giving a huge promotion and he’s confessed to us that he’s self conscious talking about it to some people, including some good friends, who are in bad financial situations because of COVID. I would hope that your DH was being sensitive and not boasting rather than actively downplaying your amazing achievement.

@2020wasShocking I have gone off in a bit of a huff to be honest. I wouldn't mind so much if it had come with "little" effort but it hasn't! I would never dream of referring to any of his successes as "little".

You're right re him probably thinking about his audience. Lots of people are dealing with lots of stuff at the moment and I do get that but still...

Congratulations! Sounds like you’ve really earned it and it’s not little at all.

I wouldn’t be happy either. Any chance it was meant to be more that sort of sarcastic joke tone, so little actually means huge? DH got a huge payrise earlier this year and we definitely said ‘just a wee little payrise’ a couple of times in a jokey way. Clutching at straws maybe but just an idea?