To tell somebody to change the topic of conversation

[Inthebarre]

I don’t know if I’ll actually have the courage but someone at work has a baby who is maybe 10 months and a toddler who is potty training. There is something wrong with the baby’s bowel.

The topic of conversation is shit. I won’t go into detail here but it makes me want to throw up.

Is it really awful to ask her to change the subject or will I have no friends left at work if I do?

Yeah I have a potty training toddler and I try not to speak about it in company. Its grim.

There's nothing wrong with saying "sorry mate, i'm a bit squeamish about this stuff, could we possibly change the subject as I'm feeling a bit ill thinking about it? I hope your poor baby gets better"

Go for it. It’s worrying that they haven’t worked out anyone cares about this stuff, other than them. They shouldn’t be subjecting other people to it

I tend to just walk away if I can.

“Anyone want a brew?”

Or just,

“Excuse me a minute. Just nipping the photocopier/loo/canteen”

Seems a better option than trying to police the conversation and risk upsetting people.

In work definitely yes! We deal with all manner of grim things in work and I still wouldn't go in talking about baby and toddler poop.

I think you can say 'i find it makes me feel a bit squeamish so don't take it too personally if I put my headphones in when you talk about it'?

It is ok to say something but maybe about yourself rather than them.

Yeah that’s not on. I managed to potty train 3 kids without sharing the details with my colleagues....as myownsummer said, just gently tell them it’s grossing you out and you need them to stop!

I worked with a woman like this. All tales of her kids pop and mimicking them ‘I luv you mummy’ in a childish voice over and over. Her daughters had a poo issue and the details were gross and not only did she tell them to us on the bank of desks but everyone on the floor and anyone who stopped by for anything. Poor guy wants £100 petty cash not to be told about her baby’s solid shite!

If you tried to get her to stop she couldn’t see the problem. Then told me it was because I don’t have kids...no, even if I had 20 kids I don’t want to hear about the shit coming out of your one whilst I am at work!

It’s just if I walk away or put headphones in I’m actually denying myself the chance to chat and chill out a bit. I don’t want to police the conversation but it’s horrible!

Just say ‘oh can we not hear about this it’s not nice and making me feel uncomfortable..Betty how is your granddaughter’ deflect to someone else and change the subject

It is at work. Reasonable to ask to concentrate on work matters.

Not at lunch time - it would be a rather dull lunch if I banned topics other than work, which isn’t what I want to do at all.

Perfectly reasonable. Honestly I don't understand how people can have got to a point where they are in professional jobs and can't figure out for themselves that its not appropriate to go on about stuff like this.

Our NCT group has a few parents who like to send exploding poo photos around

Thankfully one of the ballsier members of the group asked to have a blanket ban on images of shit. We all know what it looks like

Do you mean conversations about the toddler potty training or the baby’s medical needs?
If the former then YANBU but if the latter then YABU. You sound pretty callous.

You'll be doing everyone a favour if you can gently ease her off the topic before her LO gets a bit older; I once had a pupil (Year 4)whose DM, on his return after sickness absence, would regale me with the details ("It's his bowels, Miss Twosheds") and continued in this vein throughout his time at the Junior School. It was embarassing for him, and dispiriting (and slightly baffling) for his teachers!

generally yes I see it sounds callous but it’s descriptions of the baby’s anus, stools, him struggling to poo and her helping it out.

I would never say don’t discuss his medical needs but that when you’re trying to eat, it’s just horrible, it really is.

Sorry but that is not something you should talk about in a office environment.
I'm surprised that nobody has told her to shut up , I bet they all wish it .
I've a dc with Sen and he has very disgusting toilet habits which I won't go into and I wouldn't dream of discussing in public with colleagues.