To feel this isn't right

[Brusselsprouts21]

Been with dp for 5 years. Due to marry next year. When i met dp he had his own house and due to inheritance and 2 dc we moved to a bigger house. Am i right in believing when we get married the house becomes half mine? Even though i contributed nothing to the sale and he contributed over 60% to new house. (Contribute little now as on ML). This just doesn't seem right to me and i don't feel comfortable with something being 'legally' mine when i haven't contributed any thing to it. My dp doesn't see this as a concern at all and says he sees the house as ours not just his. He always says i contribute enough to the house with our dc and everything i do for them. I just feel like I'm being unintentionally cheeky.

No. Don’t worry. It does not become half yours when you marry. Marriage does not change the way we legally own property.

But upon divorce you would have a right to make a claim for financial provision. And any Court would be entitled to consider the house as part of the assets. What share of it you would get would depend on the circumstances at the time.

Although do consider that short marriage are often considered slightly differently when it comes to assets build up before marriage.

That helps to know that thank you. My partner has said when we get married he wants to put my name on the house papers, i have refused. My plan is to contribute to the house financially and in a few years once i have put money into the house then i would feel comfortable enough to call it 'our' house legally.

You may contribute non-financially too - for example if you're limiting your career and earning potential because you're doing the lion's share of the unexpected child care; or you're allowing him to put more effort into his career because you're taking on a lot of the chores that he'd otherwise have to do.

You don't have to accept more than you wish in the event of a break-up. I'd be inclined to let him do as he wishes, then if you break up in a few years, and you're not happy keeping part of the house, you can go for a lesser settlement.

My partner has said when we get married he wants to put my name on the house papers, i have refused.

I think you have to be more practical and not get sidetracked with this notion of being "cheeky". Women the world over get screwed on money and property and you'd be, imho, mad to turn down his very fair offer to put you on the papers. You're his life partner, the mother of his DC, and will be his wife by then. You're on the same team, you do things together, if he's switched on enough to make this offer - and many DHs on here are far too shitty to do that - then meet him at that level and go on it. The ways in which you'll contribute are incalculable, a million different ways and not all about money at all. Go into it hoping that you'll never split so who owns what really won't ever be an issue, but should that come to pass, even just a brief skim of the Relationships threads tells you to make sure your name is on as much as possible. Be smart, for your DC if not for your own notion of deservingness.

Why not go to a solicitor and have an agreement drawn up that ringfences what he put in and splits anything above that?

I can see where you're coming from and your morality is very admirable but you're married with 2 DC and you would be entitled to a fair share of the marital assets on divorce which includes the house. Don't feel cheeky at all. I contributed to the purchase of this house more than equally many years ago but haven't financially contributed since and ours is an equal partnership and our assets are ours, earned by both our efforts. This is how marriage works. Refreshing attitude from you though 😊

I think you have to be more realistic about this. If you and dp split up you will need to be able to financially support your dc, which includes putting a roof over your heads.

If the marriage breaks down acrimoniously, you will need half the joint family assets to be able to live without having to move into temporary accommodation.

Always plan for worst case scenarios. Morals will not feed/clothe/house you and your kids.