Dog in garden neighbour drama

[Orangeblossom78]

We have a communal garden for the use of all residents in our garden square.

Recently a neighbour rang asking me round for a cup of tea and a chat about the dog in the garden. I said I could chat on the phone. She says that a neighbour is taking their dog into the communal garden which has never happened before, and that she wants me to complain about it.

She has told another resident in the square to complain too and she has. I asked what was the problem with the dog, has it been making a mess or been noisy (none of which I have noticed) but she ignored that and just repeated it had never happened before, and that there was a new mum with a baby next door who might not like the dog.

When I said again I would need to think about it she told me that I spoke too fast, I must be busy and that the other girl (she told to complain) didn't speak fast like that. (I am not a girl I am in my 40s)

All a bit strange.

I don't want to complain on this lady's behalf and think if she is bothered about the dog she should complain herself, really.

Dont then. If ahe asks again either lie or tell her you don't have an issue with it she does, so to do it herself

Nothing to see here.

So she's asking you to gang up on someone else.

@Flowers009

So she's asking you to gang up on someone else.

Yeah this is a call-out for snitches...I don't like it.

Then don't complain.

For goodness sake, this is such a non drama. Just ignore her and do nothing. If she approaches you again say you aren’t getting involved.

I would ignore for now and hope they don't ask again but if they did I would just say 'the dog isn't causing me any issues so it really isn't my place to complain, I'm sure the other neighbours you've mentioned are capable of complaining for themselves if it's bothering them'. I'd say it pleasantly but firmly and make it clear that was the end of the matter, doesn't sound like anything you want or need to get dragged in to OP.

I agree Lights, it is quite close knit and don;t want to cause any problems with this complaining. It just feels a bit manipulative.

I think your neighbour sounds decidedly odd. Complaining about you 'talking too fast' - is he (or she) just LOOKING for issues? Is it someone who spends a lot of time indoors peering out of the window looking for a subject to engage others about?

The dog obviously belongs to someone who lives in your community or they wouldn't be in the communal garden, so they must have permission. And the dog isn't causing an issue it's just 'something that's never happened before'. Why is it something to complain about just because it's new?

Very odd. I wonder if your neighbour has problems with isolation and loneliness and this is their way of reaching out to engage?

She does sound strange. I would ask her what happened when she complained about the dog herself. She's obviously going to say she hasn't and she'd like you to do it for her. Just be a bit diplomatic and say you don't have a problem with it so it's best for her to do it.

Very possibly. Seems to have some kind of grudge against the dog owner. I'm not getting involved. Thanks for the replies.

Just say you haven't noticed so won't complain. I have noticed that some neighbours kind of "gang up" if someone is doing something they don't like which is nasty.

This neighbour sounds like an awkward character

Unless the dog ever causes problems for you definitely don't complain on someone elses behalf.

Don't get yourself tangled up in other peoples drama.

Sounds to me that she accused you of speaking too fast to stop you from refusing. She’s trying to manipulate you and the rest of the neighbours. Have you asked the one who she claims is complaining? She’s probably not

In these situations it’s often not enough to try and stay out of ‘it’.

If I were you I’d avoid the topic of dogs, but get in touch with all parties separately and coincidentally offer something neutral to help with or organise. Diffuse the burgeoning ‘issue’ before it gains traction.

What real communal garden topics come up for you all this time of year? Pick one and make it your own project. Of course you shouldn’t have to, but it seems a good moment for a mass distraction. Before you are forced to pick sides on this silly non-issue regarding a doggie?

It seems a bit underhand but FWIW, we don't allow pet dogs in our garden square. Not everyone likes dogs, not everyone is a considerate dog owner and not every dog is well-trained/well-behaved. It's easiest and fairest to have a blanket ban.

there is a committee for the square and they hold meetings etc so anything about it could be raised there. thanks. I will suggest that maybe. Don't have time to get involved further especially just now

Is there a dog?

Well obviously this issue should be taken to the committee - it's exactly what they exist for!

If the committee asks you and other residents for their opinions on the issue, just tell them yours without being swayed by anyone else's.

Your neighbour sounds awful. Don't get involved. She is being a nasty bully

She sounds awful. Why is she got your number anyway? I’d be looking at the block button tbh.

I think she has approached the committee herself and been knocked back, probably told if there are several complaints they'll do something about it. Does the dog-walker live in the square? (Maybe he's on the committee).

And who is it you're supposed to complain to?

Yes it seems the dog owners are on the committee. I guess she got my number off the list of residents or something. It is a bit strange. I hardly know her. She put some stuff about children' development (clippings etc) through the door one time and then rang me to check I had got that- last year. And keeps saying she has things she has in the house to give to them too, but I don't want it. Eccentric I guess. I am wary of these people who try and get you to do things like that for them.