DD's friend's inappropriate Tik Toks

[RhodaCamel]

Dd is 12 and like most of her friends she loves Tik Tok. Her account is private with just her school friends as contacts.
Dd regularly shows me what she looks at and what her friends post.
One of the girls from her class (also 12) has a public account. She looks and acts older than she is and has quite a few followers.
Today, dd has shown me this girls videos. Now, I’m not sure if I’m just out of touch with the things kids know these days but what I saw concerned me a little, bearing in mind this child is still only 12 she has one post where she says ‘What most girls like to ride and the clip then shows various high end cars. She then goes on to type ‘But I’d like to ride......the video then shows pictures of various older teenage boys’.
Today she has posted a clip saying ‘all the things I’d like to do with my boyfriend’ one of them being a sign showing the word Pornhub!. Dd asked me what Pornhub Was!!
I have a 15 year old ds and my 12 year old dd but I’m next to certain they don’t post stuff like this and I’ve not seen any of their friends posting stuff like this either, certainly not at the tender age of 12 and on a public account.
What would you do if you saw this? I can’t give the parents a heads up as I don’t know their names.

I would report it to TikTok (not sure what they'd do TBH) and I would get DD to unfollow and block. If you don't know the parents I can't see what else you can do other than take steps to protect your DD.

I did wonder if I should notify the school or if that was too much?

I think speaking to the school's safeguarding lead would be a good idea.

Definitely talk to the person in charge of safeguarding at the school - might be nothing, might be a sign of something more sinister. She's 12 FFS.

I think if you don't know the parents then you would be very sensible to contact the school safeguarding lead.

Yes I will contact the school, I just don’t feel comfortable just ignoring it.

@RhodaCamel

I did wonder if I should notify the school or if that was too much?

Why would you notify the school??

This has presumably happened outside of school so I have no idea why they would need to be contacted about it.

Because of safeguarding. This is a 12 year old child talking about sex and porn!! Would you just ignore that? Dd just told me that this girl also tells people at school that she doesn’t have a great relationship with her father.

Tik Tok is well known for being dodgy. I would ring school and ask for their advice on what to do next. They may ask for details or they may tell you to call the police. You are definitely doing the right thing. My dd is 13 and I’d be horrified if she was posting about stuff like that.

Safeguarding protects children. It doesn't matter that this is outside school.

Yes absolutely definitely notify school. Their pastoral team can have a quiet word with both her and the parents about the risks shes putting herself under. It actually might be the only way the parents are alerted to a a problem. Thats assuming best case scenario and its not a sign of something more sinister.

FlamingoQueen thanks, me too I would be mortified if dd was posting stuff like this. This is inappropriate for a child.

Thanks all, I will do that.

No harm in notifying the school, especially if it adds to a portfolio of issues or a series of red flags about the girl's situation or vulnerability, which the school might be privy to.
If they're not concerned or can't do anything, they will ignore, but they might be able to intervene/escalate.
Can you flag accounts on tiktok?

She might just be showing off and being silly, or there might be something really serious going on. I wouldn't take any chances with the safety of a 12yo.

Even if nothing is going on now, something could happen. Those kinds of profiles attract sexual predators. Tiktok is known for this.
Say something to school.

She’s now talking about recreating the boat scene from 365 days! I have not seen this tv show but know it’s target audience is certainly not 12 year olds.

Report to tik tok
And track down her parents.
Take a video of what she has put up. And show them this.
Protect this 12yo from herself

Agree with PPs- contact school for advice. They may be happy to contact parents for you in the circumstances or might make other suggestions as to how you could proceed.

Yes report to school. I did with a similar sort of Tiktok issue and the school took it very seriously when I forwarded clips to then they called the parents. They clearly didn't care as kid sent mine a friends request an hour later 😅

OMD
I would tell school and show the video(s) especially I they have a policy on sm and things like that.

My DCs are 12 & 13 and have NO SM AT ALL.

Also report to tiktok (if they do anything. They may say they can’t do anything about it) at which you would ask your DD to ask her to stop these vids. Then tell your dd to block her. If I remember correctly, you can report a vid or account from your own account ( I would recommend this to you)

Thank you and good luck.

OP you may not be the only parent worried about what this child is posting. The more evidence the safeguarding team have the better so please report to school safeguarding lead.

How sad.

The boat scene from 365 days is a ten minute montage of a couple shagging vigorously all over a yacht and in every position you can think of.

So, yeah, highly inappropriate.

Don’t contact parents just contact school. It’s under the safeguarding remit - am amazed that A few posters don’t know that the responsibility for this extends beyond the classroom.