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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think hospitals should communicate, even with COVID?

11 replies

IAmTheWaiting · 14/07/2020 08:59

I am just as pro NHS as anyone and realise the service is under immense pressure at the moment. But I'm seriously shocked by the lack of communication we are experiencing.

My elderly DM was taken away by ambulance last week. Nobody called her relatives, despite her giving them our details. I only found out when I went to check on her and found her house deserted so started calling round hospitals.

Since then she has spent many days on a ward. I obviously can't visit because of COVID. I've spoken to a dr once and that was after 8 hours of calling back hourly and being told someone would ring me. On other days when I've tried, nobody calls me at all.

My mother meanwhile is calling me constantly. She says she has no clue what is happening, why she's there or when she can go. She is relying on me for information, which I can't give because I can't speak to anybody- either nobody answers the phone at all, or I get a staff nurse who is very curt just says everything is fine and a dr will call me back (but they never do) or just passes the phone to my mum which defeats the object.

We have no idea how long she will be there to take her more things and she's likely to need a care plan in place when she comes out but nobody seems to be talking to me about that either.

Surely at the moment as relatives cannot visit, communication with next of kin (particularly for vulnerable patients who cannot understand for themselves what is going on) should be increased not decreased? Very frustrating and unsure what I can do.

OP posts:
LouiseTrees · 14/07/2020 09:08

I would tell the nurse before she passes the phone on that your mother tells you she has no clue what is going on so don’t pass me to her please. I would tell them that clearly when she comes out then someone will need to care for her and you need to know when that is likely to be. Do you know if she’s on a Covid ward?

IAmTheWaiting · 14/07/2020 11:09

I've been saying this but the ward nurses don't seem to speak very good english and they say there isn't a dr there to pass me to. No, it isn't a COVID ward. They've now told her she'll be out next week if she puts care in place - but she's incapable of sorting care for herself.

OP posts:
Min3rva · 14/07/2020 11:19

Patient Advisory liaison service will be able to help you and your mother.
Hope she is on the mend

SunInTheSkyYouKnowHowIFeel · 14/07/2020 11:21

Contact PALs, their number or email should be on the hospital website, I have used them before and got a very quick response

spanieleyes · 14/07/2020 11:26

She can't be discharged without a care package in place if she needs one. The hospital should have a social worker who will put this in place.

IAmTheWaiting · 15/07/2020 11:05

Thank you all I didnt know about PALS, that's really helpful.

OP posts:
PollyPelargonium52 · 15/07/2020 11:47

That's shocking. I would be tempted to ring the papers over this! Outrageous.

Noodledoodledoo · 15/07/2020 11:48

Hate to say it but Covid or not this has been the experience I had, we lived over 100 miles away from my grandmother and it was always a nightmare.

SunInTheSkyYouKnowHowIFeel · 15/07/2020 22:44

I hope you get somewhere with it Op, sounds like such bad communication - as if having a relative in hospital isn't bad enough to not be updated on what's going on is awful. Keep persevering Flowers

IAmTheWaiting · 22/07/2020 17:32

Thank you it got even worse I hate to say upon discharge when social services got involved...I'm truly gutted with the whole process.

OP posts:
BlueBell50 · 22/07/2020 17:56

We have just been through this too. We could not get any information about my DM , she is registered blind and extremely hard of hearing and could not contact us herself. We had a Skype call where the nurse was shouting “it’s your daughter Maureen” I’m saying she’s called Doreen, nurse says indignantly “well it says Maureen here”. ( not the real names) . They decided that she was confused, is it any wonder? I was shouted at for not calling at the designated hour when I hadn’t been told there was a set time. It carried on post discharge too, a total nightmare. I think we have turned a little corner now. Hope things improve for you too OP

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